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標題: RE: working two jobs [打印本頁]
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-9 13:37     標題: RE: working two jobs

Anyone here is working two jobs? one full time and another p/t at night?

I am one of the people who have two jobs.

My gf wants to break up with me. She said I am too busy, I don't have enough time for her.

I told her i am working hard for our future., but seems like she doesn't understand.

I don't want to give up my p/t as i want to earn as much as possbile when i am still young.

Sometimes i just don't want to spend too much, she would say i am so cheap. She said i only know how to save money but don't know how to spend.

Any suggestion? Should i let her go? My friends said i deserve a better one.
作者: myversa    時間: 2008-1-9 13:48

I sort of have two jobs.  During the day, I am a computer programmer but after I get off work at 5:00, I drive to my food court restaurant to help out.  I am a cashier, kitchen helper, cleaner and server.  The restaurant closes at 8:00 so by the time I get home, it is already 9:00pm.  My wife is at restaurant all day.

I used to think like you and tried to helped out the restaurant 7 days too.  However I soon realized there was not much conversation between my wife and me.  By the time we went home, both of us took shower and we almost were in time for bed.

Therefore, we tried to at least get Sunday afternoon so we can spend some quality time together.

Work is important but your family is too.  You will regret that when you are young, you miss  alot of good times.  You should try to take some time off and be with your gf (at least like me, get Sunday off).
作者: utopia    時間: 2008-1-9 14:14

Many people work more than one job. My brother worked 3.5 job for years.
Full-time programmer day time, Delivery boy + Waiter, P/T fixing computer.

That drive him nut and very tired. He still tired now but at least he is working for 2 jobs which is slightly better..............as a sister, I feel bad to see him totally drained out all the energy ...........

I totally agree with myversa, that's what happened to my brother too. He decided to take Sunday off for rest or spend time with my ar so. Even though, it's not spending time but at least he has some spare time to do the gardening for his house
作者: SAZABI    時間: 2008-1-9 14:18

dude... I work 1 job, and I am lucky if I get sunday off.

oh wait... i do have a 2nd job.  my wife's slave
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-9 14:34

but if i don't work more, how do i have enough to give her a stable life?
How do i show her mum i am financially good?

I got nothing from my parents, i earn everything myself.
作者: yungfourfour    時間: 2008-1-9 14:48

Hm....... sounds like to me there's still a lot to find out b/t your gf and you...
Is she the type of person who doesn't want to work but wants you to pay for her?
or she finds you working too hard and the quality time b/t you two becomes ..... minimal?

I can understand your feeling.  a month ago I hand out Metro newspaper 6:00-9:00 a.m., then work as an analyst 1-9 p.m., and tutor high school students on weekend.  Now I quit Metro because of the weather ( I am in Alberta and it gets -20). AND I AM A GIRL.

It's so hard to save $1000 after tax, rent, food and stuff and in the end we got like.... 12K a year? It takes 1 person 3 years to save for a decent wedding and...... what about downpayment for houses after that???  Let her do the math.  Quality time doesn't require $$ all the time...

Well but at the same time, a person you care cannot be evaluated by $$

My sister recently had bipolar syndrome and i am preparing to leave everything in Alberta just to move back to take care of her.
作者: utopia    時間: 2008-1-9 15:00

Well, I don't think the girl might absolutely think you are cheap.

I had similar experience with caveman before. I complained to him that why is everything about money. Like yungfourfour mentioned, he did the math for me  about future situation. From then, I quit partying and shopping and hope to do the saving with him together.

And also, when I complained to him about money, to be honest, it's not about money solely. Since caveman already so busy with school and work and investment, when we are together, I wish he focus on the quality time not money. We already saving hard on daily things, why can't we just sit down and relax for once and treat ourselves nicely? From then, he will just cheap on himself and won't cheap on us anymore. He understands and start to learn how to enjoy life more.

It just such a turn off when "pak tau" involved calculating money every minute. Do those math in your heart or when it is necessary, ok?
作者: utopia    時間: 2008-1-9 15:02

I am not sure about your girlfriend. I used to feel left out when caveman is so busy with his life. Then, I have a chance to move up or promoted in my career, since then I've transformed into a workaholic myself and I hardly complain that we did not spend enough time. Well, I did once in awhile........that when we worked like 7 days a week...............I told him once bitterly that we haven't "pak tau" for ................almost a month la.........can we quit doing things "seriously" for once? Then, ever since, he free himself sunday off and "pui" me lor.........
作者: Traum    時間: 2008-1-9 15:19

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作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-9 15:34

yea..i only work like 70-80 working hrs a week, maybe not that much compared to some people here.

but plus the time i drive to work, different locations, i don't really have much time left.

maybe it is the end of our story.
作者: shutterbug    時間: 2008-1-9 16:46

Number of jobs is irrelavant; it's how many hours of work per day or week that's important.

Working 80 hourse a week is pretty bad and I've done that before.  You get no life whatsoever.  No wonder your gf is complaining, and even if she understands, she will still complain!  The goal is to have a BALANCE life style.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't work hard for you future but think about it.  If you have a lot of money but without health, fun and love, what's the point of life?
Might as well just die right now...j/k LOL

I guess you don't have kids yet...right? LOL...
作者: sosocall    時間: 2008-1-9 16:51

how old are you and her ar?!!
if early 20 is the end of your story la.....
everyone work so hard, if u can't find out that little spare time mean you are not really for relationship la
no flame no love la....
save some money first, let secured yourself
so you can start a new health relationship law
作者: CWong    時間: 2008-1-9 17:48

辛勤工作並沒有錯，不是每个人都含著金鑰匙出世，如果她不懂珍惜及支持你现在所做，却只顧及你能为她身上花费多少，我真怀疑你们的关係能维係多久？若你只是二十出头，大可读多幾年书，增值自己，再找份好工，再想结婚的事都唔遲。
作者: celeron_266    時間: 2008-1-9 18:24

doraemon:  70-80 hours a week sounds a bit too crazy....even if you work 7 days a week you will have to work more than 10 hrs per day......

mind to tell us about your jobs and income?

[ 本帖最後由 celeron_266 於 2008-1-9 18:29 編輯 ]
作者: yayaya    時間: 2008-1-9 20:31

break up with her first, and fast
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-9 21:24

Thank you very much everyone.

We broke up tonight. Yes, I am very upset, but i have no choice.

I prefer work hard today and enjoy my life tomorrow.

I don't earn much, that's why i need to work another job at night.
作者: raima    時間: 2008-1-9 22:27

原帖由 shutterbug 於 2008-1-9 16:46 發表
Number of jobs is irrelavant; it's how many hours of work per day or week that's important.

Working 80 hourse a week is pretty bad and I've done that before.  You get no life whatsoever.  No wonder y ...


finding the right balance is the key. it's important that personal life is important but in reality, we put hours and hours in work, helping the company that we work for grow but do very little to improve what's personal to us...
作者: celeron_266    時間: 2008-1-9 22:52

原帖由 doraemon1002 於 2008-1-9 21:24 發表
Thank you very much everyone.

We broke up tonight. Yes, I am very upset, but i have no choice.

I prefer work hard today and enjoy my life tomorrow.

I don't earn much, that's why i need to work an ...


good luck man
作者: yungfourfour    時間: 2008-1-10 01:53

Doraemon 1002:

Find a job that pays you to study 1 or 2 courses  a semester or try to search for better job so that you don't need to work 70 hrs a week.  That's very exhausting.

Given that you made a decision to break up, you should've achieve much more and spend much less now, so be smart with your time, work smarter and get better wage rather than just working hard.  Good luck.
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-10 08:47

Hello Everyone, Today is the first day being alone. I came to work even earlier than before.

Yes, I am twenty something.

with two jobs, i only could make 50-60k a year.

It is not alot, imagine how long it will take me to have enough for an apartment down payment.

In reality, I think if you want a better gf, you need to make enough to compete with others.

Do you think so?

Maybe i am just not lucky enough to meet a good one.  Love is pain. I am really tired about it.
作者: Quest    時間: 2008-1-10 09:29

I'm a married man and I've been working 2 jobs for quite some time (1F/T, 1 P/T). I have a family to raise and life is not easy at times.

On the flip side: when my main job goes bad, I can still partially sustain our living w/o facing any major financial impact. Life of a typical Canadian can be hard for we pay too much taxes trying to make a living (sustain a living) here but I'm not complaining for the environment here is so much better than some asian countries.

If your GF does not appreciate you (using you working 2 jobs as an excuse), I would just dump her if I were you (she's not worth it). Also: if you are doraemon 1002's GF and you are reading this, plse take note:

Life as a grownup isn't as comfy as you think: everyone has to make sacrifices and work hard to achieve financial independence and such. If you aren't considerate enough to think it that way, I'm afraid that this society isn't for you afterall, perhaps you should go find a billionaire elsewhere and get married.

*geesh*

Q-TD

doraemon 1002: look at it this way: you are now single again and you are entitled to look for a better GF (partner, whatever) that will share your lifestyles, point of views, etc. Canadian caucasian gals are more "realistic" in a sense that many of them realise that money doesn't grow on trees and they too, may have to work/maintain a 2-income earnings in order to lead a decent living here in North America. I have seen many unrealistic immigrant gals from the orient who, perhaps parents brought along lots of mullah or so, became unrealistic and demanding from their BF or spouse, to the point where at times, I consider them to be loosers and if I'm in such situation, I would just file for divorce/dump her right away and start all over again financially.

Good luck and just go easy on yourself. You are entitled to a better, more understanding SO you know.

作者: celeron_266    時間: 2008-1-10 09:50

原帖由 doraemon1002 於 2008-1-10 08:47 發表
Hello Everyone, Today is the first day being alone. I came to work even earlier than before.

Yes, I am twenty something.

with two jobs, i only could make 50-60k a year.

It is not alot, imagine how ...


IMO thats quite a bit already.....and considering that you dont own a home (yet).....you should have enough to do many things after the regular expenses.....
作者: utopia    時間: 2008-1-10 10:15

doraemon1002,

I cannot comment on your girlfriend, as this is only a one side story. Perhaps there are more than you don't have enough time for her. Perhaps she doesn't love you anymore and don't know what to tell you when she wants to break up.

Anyhow, you are right. If you have high standard on a so called "good girlfriend", you need to be competitive compare to other man.

50-60K a year is pretty good (before tax or after tax?) If your future wife make 30K a year (which very easy), it added up 90K a year ga la~
作者: yungfourfour    時間: 2008-1-10 10:25

Wooooh

an intermediate government job is only offering $50K annually, before tax!
so if you are making 50-60K, it's very decent.

Yellowknife and Fort Mac would be a place to go if you do wanna make much more

Diamond mines in yellowknife are looking for HR for $80K a year plus benefits, live on site for 12 hour shift a day, meal provided, but work 2 weeks off 2 weeks...+ vacations....... if you are engineer..... even more

Fort mac.... no need to mention why la.
$1500 a week for entry level engineer, a house to live, escalator-type salary raise, plus a possible 6 digit bonus a year

Timmies & theatre becomes the only entertainment.... so you have nowhere to spend your money

In a short period of time you can retire so you don't have to stay there forever

[ 本帖最後由 yungfourfour 於 2008-1-10 10:31 編輯 ]
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-10 11:19

50-60k is before tax.

Yes, it is more than enough for me because i am single now. I really spent a lot when we were together.

When you love someone, of course you want to give her the best as possible.

I am upset because we are not together anymore.

I am not disappointed because i have already tried my very best in this relationship.

Just the things, life we wanted are different.
作者: celeron_266    時間: 2008-1-10 11:32

wow...seem that you really spent A LOT on her....and she wanted it that way too....

thats unfortunate man...you could have been soooo much wealthier...

[ 本帖最後由 celeron_266 於 2008-1-10 11:35 編輯 ]
作者: LOK    時間: 2008-1-10 11:49

原帖由 doraemon1002 於 2008-1-10 08:47 發表
In reality, I think if you want a better gf, you need to make enough to compete with others.

Do you think so?  

No, you make more money will not get you a "better" gf, might be you could get a "better looking" gf from more money.

If you find the right one, you don't have to be rich to be happy with her.  Of course, you need enough money to live.  
And depends on what you think, do you think you will be more happy to drive a nice car and live in a nice house alone? or, drive a ****ty car and live in a small old house/apt with the one you love?

To me, enough money is enough, more money won't make me happier if no one share my happiness.  I would choose to earn less money and spend time with the right person.
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-10 11:57

I really like her. She wasn't like this when we met.

My fds said it is because I was too nice to her. Bought her whatever she wanted.

I spoiled her to the point that, if i spent 100$ on myself, she was expecting me to spent 100$ on her. Or i just save my $100 to buy her stuff.

Yes, I know it is not right. but when I love her, i really want to give her all the best.
作者: myversa    時間: 2008-1-10 12:02

I agree with LOK.  "More money get your a better gf" thinking is just wrong.  It just implies that girls are looking for money.  I am not rich but I am happily married.   My wife is one of the nicest women in the planet.  You might be able to buy women's body with money but not their hearts.

You are still young and you can focus on your career.  If you have a gf in the future, you should take a step back and relax and spend more time with that gf than your ex.  Otherwise, the relationship is not heathy.
作者: LOK    時間: 2008-1-10 12:20

love her doesn't equal to buy her stuff...
why do you think Love = $$$ ?  more $$$ = more love?

If the girl loves you, she won't need you to buy her anything to make her happy.  She should be happy to just see you, and not base on what you could buy her.

[ 本帖最後由 LOK 於 2008-1-10 12:21 編輯 ]
作者: utopia    時間: 2008-1-10 12:47

I don't think $$$ can buy a girl heart but being financially stable is a bonus.
You don't want to marry a guy that have tons of loans and you will be afraid a "dai yi lung" will pop out of nowhere and ask you for money right?

However, doraemon1002, you are making the same mistake that my ex did to me.
Same with you, he used money to buy my heart which fail and I ended up run away. I know he is a good guy and he truly loved me but I don't want him just to buy me everything.

Material is not everything to me. I wished that he can spend time listening to me. I wished that we can have long talk about future instead of making stupid jokes that are meaningless (saying that doesn't mean I don't appreciated him, I know he was trying to make me smile). I don't need to exchange gifts. I wished he can handmade gifts to me or write me love letters. I wished he can beside me when I need help, so I don't have to run to my brother or other friend for help.

You see the different? Sure he is more financially stable than my caveman. He doesn't even need to worry about his future as he was just waiting for his mom to pass the restaurant to him in a few years. BUT, that's not what I want.....
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-10 12:47

For now, i will continue my two job's life.

Thank you everyone.

I learned a lot from this failure relationship.

Yes, I have been working 70hrs a weeks for two years, I am just like a money making machine.

It is what my ex called me when we were arguing.

No life, no fds, lost the ability to smile, be happy.

It is because i am just too tired to enjoy the things around me.

In my mind, i always think you need to be financailly ready if you want to get married, right?

or when we are in a relationship, people will save money together?
作者: celeron_266    時間: 2008-1-10 12:57

原帖由 doraemon1002 於 2008-1-10 11:57 發表
I really like her. She wasn't like this when we met.

My fds said it is because I was too nice to her. Bought her whatever she wanted.

I spoiled her to the point that, if i spent 100$ on myself, she  ...

has she ever worked?....she should be able to buy the stuff that she wants

n my mind, i always think you need to be financailly ready if you want to get married, right?

or when we are in a relationship, people will save money together?


yes...but not by killing yourself man

and yes we save money together (but of course it will be nice if i...the guy...am able to pay most of the stuff)...

man...you sure have a tough life...maybe you should quit your PT cuz now you have some money to spare....i am sure even without your PT....you savings will pile up pretty quickly...

[ 本帖最後由 celeron_266 於 2008-1-10 13:01 編輯 ]
作者: yungfourfour    時間: 2008-1-10 13:05

Hm.... Life is too short to trade your happiness with money.

I respect that you have two jobs, and I respect you decided to break up with that girl if you see that she's not the one for you.  Just don't sacrifice them for the sake of being financially secure because in the end you want to share your harvest with the upcoming lucky girl.

I worked 2-3 jobs before without a vehicle, I am happy ga.  Now I am about to leave them all behind and come back(I just got another promotion last week), I am still happy.  Keep who you are as you proceed towards your goals, and be happy.

I agree that a couple should share the same goal and somehow being financially secure before they get married..... but there's nowhere to pin the "READY" point in the timeline.... you know.

"big have big spend, small have small spend"
If your wife-to-be can't make a lot, then you pay major stuff (e.g. mortgage) and she pays minor stuff (groceries + heat) lor

If you both can make more, then make the bills more even, save more and spare some for annual vacation lor.

and save / plan for kids when you two spent enough " 2 people world" time ....etcetc....

As long as you & your wife-to-be are happy jau duc

[ 本帖最後由 yungfourfour 於 2008-1-10 13:08 編輯 ]
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-10 14:22

My Ex just called me, but not much to say.

I got promotion a few months ago too, but i was not happy.

I was joking with my fds, when you lost the ability to be happy, it is the hardes thing to get back.

I will consider doing less hrs for my p/t and get ready for a new relationship.
作者: Quest    時間: 2008-1-10 14:31

That is something that you just have to strike a balance somewhere along the line.

IMHO 70 hrs is a bit too much, unless you can endure the suffering of sleeping 5hrs a  nite to make up for the time necessary for maintaining relationships. IF you are still young then you shall have no problems in doing so. Me? My aching, old body is betraying me whenever I work close to 70hrs, so I'm now doing between 55 to 60hrs max in 2 jobs. (my 2nd job is flexible, just work from home).

$$ can buy you a lot of things indeed but if you have a goal and you are working hard to achieve that goal (like financial independence, house/apartment, etc.) in preparation for your living further down the road, any GF shall at least learn to understand and appreciate your effort in laying down a better future for the 2 of you, period.

When you are young and vibrant, work hard and study hard and try to climb up the stairs of financial independence, when you get older, you'll appreciate your effort as you grow old. I missed portion of my youth when I should have struggled harder to achieve a higher financial goal, and now I'm sort of paying the price (my family isn't starving to say the least, but it would be much better off if we can lay down a more solid long-terms plan). I'm planing on working until 70yrs old, and my son is independent enough to go after his dreams...I'll then retire and die...

Q-TD
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-10 15:06

Yes, i told my ex i am working hard for our future. I know i don't have enough time for her, please be understanding.

But her point is that i am not able to make her happy today, how could i make her happy in the future? and how does she know that the money i save is for her?
作者: Quest    時間: 2008-1-10 16:04

doraemon1002: I would respond back to her and sez: what do you mean by "happy"? Define!

If all she could mention was nothing short of materialistic stuff, then she is just naive and shallow-minded. I would have no problem dumping her right on the spot (I would be so pissed).

$$$ can buy steadiness in life and living so not enough $$$ may become an issue further down the road (everything down one's life costs $$, you and I both know that), so when reality settles in after romance, life is nothing but reality filled with cruelness ....so if she cannot accept the fact that you are working hard to build a house, a future and a family to settle into, she will never get it.

Move on bud, don't look back. Life can be short and worthless if you keep on dwelling on the same gf w/o any future plans and such...

(*mind you tho: it took me 5 yrs after marriage before we decided to have kids...that's all about planning you know*)

Quest-TD
作者: shutterbug    時間: 2008-1-10 16:33

I have a different view.  I think your gf's complaint is fair.  Think about it, if my bf works 80 hours a week for 2 straight years, haha...I think I'll raise this concern too.  Females have a different mentality and they're not as rational as males.  They're more emotional.  When in time she needs you and you're not around, what's the point of having you?  No matter what you say...for our future blah blah blah is pointless because at that moment you're not there for her, and this is still a bf-gf relationship, not even husband-wife yet.  What do you think she will imagine if you guys got married?  Things could be much worse.  I don't know the details but I don't think she's without a point.

How much money is enough?  What's your plan?  Like someone said here, if you plan to concentrate your youth into making money first, then just make money and don't start any relationship until you have some time to spare.  Otherwise, chances are you'll end up like this over and over again.
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-10 16:47

Was it a mistake to end this relationship?

But it is too late to make changes now.
作者: utopia    時間: 2008-1-10 16:52

原帖由 shutterbug 於 2008-1-10 16:33 發表
I have a different view.  I think your gf's complaint is fair.  Think about it, if my bf works 80 hours a week for 2 straight years, haha...I think I'll raise this concern too.  Females have a differe ...


  Totally agree~

Men and women are from different planet. To men, they love a woman, he spend all his time to be romantic to get that woman. Once he felt he secured from the battlefield, he will switch back to his normal routine. He thinks money and stable future is everything and he thinks his woman will understand because he is doing all the hard work for their future.

However, women might understand at the beginning stage and try to support him. Ironically, here come the conflict and a lot of couples end up broke up just like you. Women started to complain that her bf is not spending enough time on her nor all he cares about is money.

Then, a lot of male supporter like LYK will say things like oh, just dump her. She is so immature, she is not a good gf by not supporting him...

But there is nobody to blame at all, the best description is "you meet each other at the wrong time".
I think the girl side of story is the same too, she tried her best to save the relationship too but he is not doing enough effort to save this relationship. So she has no choice but give up.

The term is different. Your definition of "trying" is buying her everything and work 80 hours a week to make sure you two will have a secure financial background.

Her term of "trying" is sit down and tell you she is not feeling right with this relationship. Her term of "trying" is giving you subtle or clear signal that you are not making her happy.

When she is telling you, you are too cheap and everything is about money. She does not mean exactly what she said, the subtle hint is = YOU don't care about my feeling anymore. WHICH a lot of guys will defends, for god sake, if I do not care about your feeling anymore. Why would I spend tons of money on you????

That's not us women want, we want quality time not $$$. We want the boyfriend truly enjoy the time when we are together. We want to go out for dinner when my boyfriend to smile and truly be happy. We don't want to face a robot that have dead facial expression.

Understanding you are tired and drained out all the energy for working is one thing. BUT reality is, we are not happy to face a robot. Which woman on earth will be happy to see this scenario:

We are lying on the bed and we are about to start our sweet conversation. Once I started, I start hearing him snoring nor...he is spacing out.

We are having lunch together, but he space out as if he is on a different planet.

When your gf telling you, if you cannot make her  happy now, how can  you make her happy in the future.

Logically, you are right but she is partially right too.

If you cannot afford to give her attention when you two are not married yet, think about when you two have kids and you still work 80 hours a week. How much quality time left for her??
作者: shutterbug    時間: 2008-1-10 16:56

I'm sort of surprised that you can just end the relationship like that...it seemed totally easy and unpainful to you, or maybe you just didn't show it here.  That makes me wonder how much do you really love her...

Well, if you think it was a mistake, I don't think it's too late now to fix it, but make sure you know if this is the right girl for you and you're the right guy for her first.
作者: utopia    時間: 2008-1-10 16:59

原帖由 doraemon1002 於 2008-1-10 16:47 發表
Was it a mistake to end this relationship?

But it is too late to make changes now.


If you spend good two years on a relationship, I would say it doesn't hurt to try.

Worst is, you also feel the same too. You are not a happy person.

Now you make me think of "Haken"'s song long time ago.

"Losing you, winning the whole world means nothing"

You won the whole world. Spend two years on making money like crazy. What did you gain other than wealth?

I am sure there are lot of time that your girlfriend need your mental support and you weren't there for her. Not saying you dont have the heart.

BUT, possibly, you are so tired already. She probably opened her mouth and keep the word insider her heart because she does not want to be your burden.

You are lucky enough that nobody stole her from you for the past 2 years.

Sign*, balancing is the key of life, dude. Don't just listen on one side of story.
Try to view this relationship on a 3rd party point of view. Neglect the fact that you worked so hard for the future.

Try to see the whole relationship from her point of view. You will see why she was so upset.

When I said you can blame "you met each other at the wrong time", I mean....

If you meet her when she worked hard on her career like you do, then it will be perfect because you guys are on the same track lor.
作者: yungfourfour    時間: 2008-1-10 18:07

Why don't I tell you a story happened to one of my co-workers and you see it from a 3rd person p.o.v

My co-worker was sent from beijing to Alberta to study.  He had a gf who's 3 years older than him at that time and they keep the Long Distance relationship.  He stayed here for 3 years, graduated and already got a permanent job.  His  immigration is in progress and he can actually go back and visit his gf (she already turns 30 and it's not easy for a girl at that age in china to face her frd and family and tell them that they are gonna marry soon. Come on, they haven't seen each other for 3 years.)  My friend complained she is never happy and will never satisfied.  He works so hard to achieve the goal and set the family.  But for what?  Even I won't believe she loves the girl, I mean, if my bf is in another country for 3 years and keep prosponing the visit date, I would really question whether he still loves me or not.  You know?

You maybe trying so hard giving, but is that what she wants?

you did mention she spent a lot of your money.  Is she not satisfied, or that's not what she wants?

And yeah

as long as you love her, it's stupid to let it go

But if you have to spend time thinking if you love her or not, forget it. the answer is no.
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-11 10:05

Hi everyone, good morning.

I just requested to cut my p/t hrs to half last night and it is approved.

Yes, i will have less income, but i will have a bit time to do what i wanted to do for so long.

and from the last few years of hardwork, i do have a bit saving. I will be ok financially.

You never know, maybe after a year or so,

I will get back to the crazy working schedule again.

but rightnow i really need some rest.

thank you everyone!
作者: myversa    時間: 2008-1-11 10:26

Men and women are from different planet. To men, they love a woman, he spend all his time to be romantic to get that woman. Once he felt he secured from the battlefield, he will switch back to his normal routine. He thinks money and stable future is everything and he thinks his woman will understand because he is doing all the hard work for their future.


This is totally untrue.  At least for me.  Of course I think money and stable future is important but it's not the most important for my wife and me.  I insist we spend Sunday afternoon together and try to do some romantic things together once and awile.  We even had agruement with our cook who is always our partner in the restaurant.  He blamed us for not going full force and blamed us to take Sunday afternoon off for the newly open business.  Our restaurant opened almost half year now.  I had to tell him that we do not want to sacrifice our marriage over this.  For my wife she works there from 9am to 9pm 7 days a week, and she deserves to take break at least half day.

Maybe I am not rich but at least I am happy.

To doraemon1002

It's best for both your gf(future or ex) to find a job so she would not think too much.  If both of you have jobs, you would earn as much or maybe more than what you are earning now and you can concentrate on one job and spend more time with her.  In addition she can use her own money to buy stuff and yours can be saved up for both of your future.  (actually in my case, I use my money to buy stuff and hers is saved up... )
作者: celeron_266    時間: 2008-1-11 10:45

原帖由 doraemon1002 於 2008-1-11 10:05 發表
Hi everyone, good morning.

I just requested to cut my p/t hrs to half last night and it is approved.

Yes, i will have less income, but i will have a bit time to do what i wanted to do for so long.

...

nice....now you will have some better life
作者: siumaibb    時間: 2008-1-11 17:29

咁鐘意spend，以後乜都佢俾好唔好？

呢D咁既女，飛左佢啦!
作者: siumaibb    時間: 2008-1-11 17:48

原帖由 shutterbug 於 2008-1-10 16:56 發表
I'm sort of surprised that you can just end the relationship like that...it seemed totally easy and unpainful to you, or maybe you just didn't show it here.  That makes me wonder how much do you reall ...


obviously he likes making $$ more than the girl, so I think he made a good move by breaking up with his ex-gf. You said guys need to understand girls, but why can't girls understand guys?? Why can't his ex-gf understand him?
作者: AmericanBeauty    時間: 2008-1-11 22:40

First, get one or two high paying jobs instead of a number of low paying jobs.
Second, get a girlfriend / wife who also has a high paying job so 1) she can appreciate how hard one has to work to make decent money, 2) she can earn her own money to buy things she desired.
作者: shutterbug    時間: 2008-1-11 23:17

原帖由 siumaibb 於 2008-1-11 17:48 發表


obviously he likes making $$ more than the girl, so I think he made a good move by breaking up with his ex-gf. You said guys need to understand girls, but why can't girls understand guys?? Why can't ...

haha...you obviously don't know how this "game" works

well, of course you can keep finding a girl who's like what you described, but I don't think it'll be easy...and even if you can find one, chances are that the girl likes your money or some other thing but not YOU...
作者: doraemon1002    時間: 2008-1-12 11:02

good morning everyone.

I think the first thing i need to do is to transform myself back to a normal human, from a machine.

Rightnow i want to be happy, but i just can't. I have lost that ability.

When i was off and staying home, i was walking around the house and felt so bored.

I need to learn how to be happy again. I told my mum i have lost my function to smile/laugh, i always have my poker face.

I need to learn how to live happily even i am single.

My ex told me i am good on everything, except, yes, i don't enjoy life.

She said she is very tired being with me, she wants a new life.

i am very frustrated.

My feeling is like a good kid working very very hard but still got beaten so bad by mum.

It is not his fault, but he was working hard on something her mum doesn't want.

Warning to all young people who are working crazy schedule as i used to be,

When you feel you are not happy even you have more money, please work less. Spend more time with the people beside you.

If you could make changes now, do it now do it now!before it is too late!

I lost my gf, i lost my health, i lost a warm family, because when i woke up to work, they were still sleeping, when i got home, they slept already.

I feel so bad somehow. I just can't relax myself.

I know i need some time to adjust myself, but in this moment, my heart hurts so much.

Thanks everyone.
作者: katamari    時間: 2008-1-12 19:12

First of all we should appreciate doraemon for keep posting his story in here, I am sure he is also under a lot of pressure too. No one can judge who's right and who's wrong, to me it's just wrong timing meeting a wrong person. One will change, I have been complaining my ex-bfs for working like a dog when I was still in high school, but now it's totally different.


The story is over, I hope you can recover soon!
作者: Catpiano    時間: 2008-1-13 14:27

Good man ..  working hard when you are young is good ..   

Nowaday ..  many people .  dont even hv one job .. just fry stock ..  fry fry fry ..  
作者: asmok    時間: 2008-1-13 23:34

When you are young, early 20s then you'll work hard on a few jobs to make money for the future. After you've save some money and have a steady & stable job, you'll wonder why work so hard to save all the money? At that point, you'll start to enjoy life and value your heath and people around you more.

It's just part of the many stages in life that a lot of people go through.  When you realize it, you move on to the next stage in life.
作者: utopia    時間: 2008-1-14 13:19

Doraemon,

I assumed you are mid-20 or late 20 now? With working heavily for the past years, I'm sure you have saved quite a bit of money already. It's time for you to move on to a better life.

Start looking for new habit or activity which can make you relax la.

It's good that you can still think positive, treat your ex as your wake up call lor.
Re-organize your life la.



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