
標題: Just broke up...I need help.... [打印本頁]
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 11:29 標題: Just broke up...I need help....
I understand I need to move on..I understand he no longer in my life...I understand I must now forget him...but I can't ...I try soo hard in the past 4 days to pretend that I'm starting to be okay..so family and friends will not worry about me..but deep inside I am really not ok... I really cannot forget 4years of memories in just seconds...every morning waking up and every night going to sleep is the worst time...可能心急。。好想快D忘記..so i can be done with the pain...I even workout everyday and bury myself with work...but more I am busy..more I remember and want him to be there...I am afraid to even use his name or even call the city that he live in by its name....I understand 失戀 is a necessary step for everyone...i understand every 道理 that every one tells me...but every hour every day...I can only feel im going more and more crazy...I have lost many friends during the 4 years of relatitonship...and even those who are here for me now are tired of me everyday being in sadness....
LYK's 師兄師姐們。。Please help....I really don't know what to do any more...when will I get my life back...when will my pain and memories be gone.....
作者: yokult 時間: 2011-7-13 11:47
Is this your first love? 4 years is not short. I feel your pain.
I hope you will recover soon. Time is your heal.
Good luck~
作者: 布小熊 時間: 2011-7-13 11:54
take care and if you want to vent, you are most welcome here.
feeling the pain is part of growing up so take it slowly. Rushing it won't get it over sooner.
Just be careful not to jump into a rebounce relationship. It's bad for you and whoever gets involve at that point.
作者: Lik 時間: 2011-7-13 12:12
阿女,
你今年幾大喇?睇個勢你應該都仲係好細個。或者換個說法來講,你暫時都未係好成孰咁囉。不過,每個人都會經過呢個階段,想當年我後生果陣我亦都曾經因為甩拖而搞到自己死去活來(當然,就唔係好似江萬歲果隻死去活來啦~)
It's good to know that logically, you understand all the logical stuff -- how you need to move on, how he is no longer gonna be part of your life, etc. because it means you are already one step ahead of me way back when I was young and stupid. When you are still in this initial painful stage, what worked really well for me is to keep myself busy. Find things to do, games to play, etc. Even if you don't like sports, I'd strongly recommend you to do that because physical exercise will take your mind off the sorrow and the pain. When you are huffing and puffing from the exercise, your brain just doesn't work as well as if you were sitting idle in your room. Furthermore, physical exercise has the benefit of causing your body to produce endorphins, so it's much harder to stay sad when your body is giving you a natural high. There is science behind this break-up recovery stuff, you know?
Most people will eventually learn how to let go, but not everybody does. For now, take comfort in knowing that the pain will eventually fade. But you have to do your part and take an active role in overcoming this valuable learning stage of your life.
-Lik
作者: Guy 時間: 2011-7-13 12:15
chesirecat: these are the steps of life which every one goes thru.
just keep your head up high and you will go thru it.
and you are just 21-22 right? the world is not an end for you.
you still have 15+ year to adjust and rediscover the new meaning of life.
作者: Lik 時間: 2011-7-13 12:15
Just be careful not to jump into a rebounce relationship. It's bad for you and whoever gets involve at that point.
布小熊 發表於 2011-7-13 11:54 
Yup, this is a very good point. Getting a rebound guy won't help at all. In fact, it'll hurt both persons involved, and you still won't be able to get over your ex.
On the other hand, I clearly remember Carrie Bradshaw in SATC getting some rebound xxx in one of the episodes when she broke up with Aidan or Big... 
(IIRC, it didn't work for her either.
)
-Lik
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 12:29
回復 2# yokult
Thanks...this is my 2nd...my first love was really an asshole..that is why it was way easier for me to get over atleast I can hate him....but this time..this one was just so good to me..very 遷就我..(looking back, I wish I have change my temper earlier..i wish i did not always 發埋D細路女脾氣。。) for truth...I do not even really understand what is the real reason for this break up...maybe that is why things seems to be even hard to let go ...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 12:38
回復 3# 布小熊
thanks...and i know time is the only solution in healing....but god..it's toooo slow...too painful...
I won't go into rebounce relationship ...now that I am seriously afraid to love some one again...
now i just have totally bad thoughts about the future...it just seems like no matter how long the time together ...things may eventually end up same..sigh..
作者: 布小熊 時間: 2011-7-13 12:38
回復 yokult
Thanks...this is my 2nd...my first love was really an asshole..that is why it wa ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 12:29 PM 
Most of the time, there is no real reason why 2 ppl fall in love.
That sometimes applies to falling out of love too. So don't try too hard to find out why... You may never find out why.
Just try to slowly move on.
Read some sad books, watch some sad movies and cry it out. But it only works for some people. Others like to watch comedy and laugh it away... do whatever that works for you.
Try to pay more attention to your family and your remaining friends. Spend time with them and care for them now. It's time to build your social circle back.
作者: Lik 時間: 2011-7-13 12:44
遷就到你,唔係必然嘅事。既然你家陣都知道自己唔應該發埋啲細路女脾氣,咁就即係代表你從呢個 relationship 裡面學到野、有得着。我會話,你心裡面好應該記住同感激你個 ex,因為佢教曉咗你人生上寶貴嘅一課。呢樣野好多時真係有錢都買唔到。人就係有經歷先至會成孰㗎喇。
而我自己亦一樣,每一次甩拖我心裡面都感激我個 ex 又教曉咗我一啲野。
-力
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 12:55
回復 4# Lik
話細又唔係太細。。話大個又唔係。。。我認同可能人生真係無乜經驗。。所以諗野的確有D唔成熟。。不過自己今次都失得算理智。。從分手果日開始都有去做gym。。的確做果時個人好positive...但一返到屋企又係咁。。唔同真係搬去個gym度住咩。。。唉。。真係唔明點解我地呢一代唔可以好似mommy daddy 果一代。。初戀就係結婚果個。。
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 13:02
回復 5# Guy
thanks...to know that theres still soo many years ahead ...is very scary ...especially thinking it may not be last time to be heart broken...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 13:09
回復 6# Lik
I normally don't watch SATC...because i think its a very unrealistic show...i don't think much asian or atleast 保守asian can live that kind of 鬼佬任性 style..
but yes, i agree rebound is BS...maybe because i take my relationship seriously...I would never play someone else like that...
作者: Lik 時間: 2011-7-13 13:10
仲有一定要記住呢句:仔死仔還在。以前細個仲係死靚仔果陣,我真係信晒 "you are the One" 嘅呢一類說話。但隨住個人慢慢大,我就開始理解到,每個人其實都可以同好多性格唔太相同嘅人相處、相愛。同你愛情上 compatible 又愛你嘅,永遠唔會只得一個。個問題只係,你能唔能夠從人群中搵佢出來。而 find out 嘅辦法就只有一個:就係等你心情好返之後去溝多啲仔~ 
-力
作者: 布小熊 時間: 2011-7-13 13:12
回復 布小熊
thanks...and i know time is the only solution in healing....but god..it's toooo ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 12:38 PM 
it's ok to think like that now.
It happened every time. No, I won't fall in love again...
Then well, it happened again when the right person come.
Well, this is true even in a marriage. So don't worry too much la. NOTHING in this world is guarantee.
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 13:15
回復 9# 布小熊
I do understand...I know it is not time to ask why any more...sigh...it is just hard right now because 想喊又喊唔出。。。笑又唔係發至內心。。
作者: haha72 時間: 2011-7-13 13:20
here are the tips & steps
u will be fine
(coming 10 days)
- cry cry cry cry till you can't cry
- do not hide your emotion even u think being strong will be fine
(then)
- do something you want to do, something you can't do when you are not single
- treat yourself something good.. (facial, manicure, really good meal in a fancy restaurant.. watever u want. know that you are the most important person that you should treat youself the best
- get busy! fill your time up with alot of activities and works (going out with friends, family or join a course or join some sports like badminton & yoga )
- be pretty everyday. wear the clothes you like. shopping can heal
but of coz you gotta control as well
we know memories and pain are still with you. but one day, it will be gone. when you look back, cherish the lessons you learn and know that next time you will be better.

作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 13:28
one of scary thing is that...after first day of break up...I don't know why I stop able to cry even if I want to...相反 my eyes got even drier than ever in my life..and i need to 滴眼藥水...therefore, expressing feelings are hard for me right now..can't even cry if I pinch myself...I don't even know what is wrong with me...
thankyou for the suggestions....but none of those are helping as I always have time to do things myself with my ex working fulltime before...
but I guess right now i just want to have a remote to fast forward things ...so pain will be unnecessary...
作者: ricrick 時間: 2011-7-13 13:32
回復 布小熊
I do understand...I know it is not time to ask why any more...sigh...it is just h ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 13:15 
i feel so sorry to hear that, honey
if u need a shoulder to cry on, don't be shy to ask
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 13:53
其實作為男仔/人。。。你地係唔係都係覺得一段感情一有argue 就係無將來...?
作者: Lik 時間: 2011-7-13 14:10
其實作為男仔/人。。。你地係唔係都係覺得一段感情一有argue 就係無將來...? ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 13:53 
Of course not! If that's what people think, then no relationship in the world has any future la~
Argument is a form of communication as well. Perhaps it isn't the most ideal form of communication between a couple, but at times, it has its purpose and can serve well in helping you understand where the other person is coming from. The trick to arguing / fighting is to:
1) focus on the core issue, be they objective / subjective, logical (usually what guys focus on) or emotional (usually what girls focus on), and
2) try and understand where the other person is coming from
You've probably heard it 1000x, but in a fight, the guy usually think it was some actual thing he did (or didn't do), or something he said (or didn't say). But really, the girl was offended because she felt like her emotional aspects were neglected. It happens over, and over, and OVER again.
As a girl, I'd ask you to be direct and just tell the guy directly how his action/words hurt your feelings. Make sure he understands it is your feelings being hurt, not the thing that he does or says. You have to be direct like that because most guys don't know why their gf is pissed off at them. (And hey, even I fall into that trap a lot.
)
The time when you realize a relationship has no future is when the couple's fundamental core values keep clashing and the issue is unavoidable and intolerable to either (or both) parties. Eg. You want to get married but he doesn't. You don't want kids but he does. You think CCP is evil and corrupt but he thinks Grandfather is the greatest.
When these issues keep coming up and you know the other party isn't gonna change their stance at all, then it's time to call it quits because you don't want to be wasting the other person's time.
-Lik
作者: 布小熊 時間: 2011-7-13 14:29
本帖最後由 布小熊 於 2011-7-13 14:30 編輯
其實作為男仔/人。。。你地係唔係都係覺得一段感情一有argue 就係無將來...? ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 01:53 PM 
no and no and no.
It's just an excuse if that's a given reason.
It's ok to argue but not OK if 2 persons have different life value.
oops.. not a guy... shouldn't have replied.
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 15:05
回復 22# 布小熊
don't worry...of course even if you're not a guy.. you can still reply...
I also think it is an excuse ..as i believe most problems are solvable as long as 2 person willing to works toward together...even if have different life value, it is still possible to balance out a solution in the middle...
I only do not understand how a person can suddenly change his thinking and beliefs in an instance....just like he tell me how much he loves me 2 weeks ago..and break up in 1 week...or saying still have feelings for u...but its best to break up because we argue?....sigh...over the last few days, im not only sad...but just have very much question marks on my head...
作者: Lik 時間: 2011-7-13 15:16
本帖最後由 Lik 於 2011-7-13 15:21 編輯
I only do not understand how a person can suddenly change his thinking and beliefs in an instance....just like he tell me how much he loves me 2 weeks ago..and break up in 1 week...or saying still have feelings for u...but its best to break up because we argue?....sigh...over the last few days, im not only sad...but just have very much question marks on my head...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 15:05 
From a guy's pov, I actually think the stuff he says are entirely normal (and typical).
You have to realize that love and frustration are two entirely separate feelings. Your ex can love you more than anyone else in the world, but at the same time, he can also be so frustrated in putting up with your [insert whatever you want here] that he simply can't take it anymore. Your misconception here is that the two feelings are opposite things on the same scale. Getting frustrate over your [whatever] doesn't mean he'll love you less. Loving you more also doesn't mean he is less frustrated with your [whatever].
At the end of the day, the important thing to realize is, even if you have the entire world's worth of understanding in why the relationship didn't work, the relationship isn't gonna come back if it isn't gonna come back. There is no point in lingering nor drowning yourself in sorrow why it didn't work. The only thing that matters is, girl, you gotta move on.
-Lik
作者: soli 時間: 2011-7-13 15:26
如果女方沒犯甚麼大錯﹐男人撇女﹐不外乎有3個原因:
(1) 有第3者
(2) 有第3者
(3) 有第3者
其他原因﹐都是鳳毛鱗角的少~
上面Lik先生在LYK出名是毒男一名﹐他的經驗是只他的幻想﹐所以不值得作參考。 
作者: sheep 時間: 2011-7-13 15:35
回復 25# soli
隱藏原因
係
趙完鬆
作者: sko 時間: 2011-7-13 15:40
From a guy's pov, I actually think the stuff he says are entirely normal (and typical).
You have t ...
Lik 發表於 2011-7-13 15:16 
well said~
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 15:40
sigh...i understand...i understand even if i know the truth or not.. it will still not change the fact that he thinks breakup is right...it would still not change his mind about our future..
i understand i must move on...sigh...it is just so hard to accept the fact...
作者: Lik 時間: 2011-7-13 15:40
如果女方沒犯甚麼大錯﹐男人撇女﹐不外乎有3個原因:
(1) 有第3者
(2) 有第3者
(3) 有第3者
其他原因﹐都是 ...
soli 發表於 2011-7-13 15:26 
係你啲咁賤嘅人先至會有一件又再去溝另外一件嘅嗟。
過主啦你~
-力
作者: MoiRhapsody 時間: 2011-7-13 15:43
so, Chesirecat, are you up for a drink?
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 15:46
wow...電腦load 得慢。。。差D而為自己被人嬲。。。
作者: Lik 時間: 2011-7-13 15:48
so, Chesirecat, are you up for a drink?
MoiRhapsody 發表於 2011-7-13 15:43 
喂,兄弟,唔好打尖喎?我吹咗咁多水都係為咗搏溝到人地個妹妹仔㗎咋喎? 
-力
作者: MoiRhapsody 時間: 2011-7-13 15:50

作者: soli 時間: 2011-7-13 15:51
在沒第3者情況下﹐男人撇女後一般會很苦惱的﹐所以就算唔再愛﹐亦會拖得就拖﹐除非是異地戀。
不過Lik 你呢個萬世毒男係唔會明。
作者: MoiRhapsody 時間: 2011-7-13 15:51
只是有點寂寞而已
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 15:55
no thankyou dude...I am NOT 寂寞...I am just 煩惱。。
作者: somewhereintime 時間: 2011-7-13 15:55
回復 28# chesirecat
On the bright side, maybe it is the right time to meeting your real soul mate;
You may have overlooked many other good guys during your courtship. Good luck to you.
作者: MoiRhapsody 時間: 2011-7-13 16:03
the pain and memories will not be gone.
Scar is always there. more you try to ignore it hide it remove it , it will like glowing in the dark as big as you can magnify in your heart, and never goes away.
there is no short cut, suck up the pain it the only way.
stare at it until you get sick of yourself, then you can move on.
chill
作者: Prelude 時間: 2011-7-13 16:16
本帖最後由 Prelude 於 2011-7-13 16:24 編輯
I totally feel your pain, I have been through many similar situations as well, and still going through one.
It's good that you understand all the logic there is to it, that tells me you are at least a smart person. You basically know what to do and what's ahead of you.
Here are some REAL stuff I can share with you (some are shared by others in this thread already):
1. There are other "quality" guys out there fit perfectly with you.
2. You didn't notice those guys because you were into previous relationship.
3. Most human have gone through the situation you are facing now.
4. Most importantly, what you are going through now seems HUGE for you at this moment. But it may actually be a small incident in your life. eg. You were asked to write a 100 words essay when you were in grade 4 seemed like huge, and then after you grew up and were asked to write 5000 words essay in University. You look back and see the 100 words essay was only a small milestone and it wasn't really that big of a deal.
When you grow up, you will notice that results are not important, most of the time. It's what you learned and enjoyed while you were in it. Try not to be afraid on your next relationship (I am working on that too). Love the fullest you can is the only way to enjoy.
作者: ricrick 時間: 2011-7-13 18:08
no thankyou dude...I am NOT 寂寞...I am just 煩惱。。
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 15:55 
佢真係無同你請點解咩?
作者: habitrailspace 時間: 2011-7-13 18:10
喂,兄弟,唔好打尖喎?我吹咗咁多水都係為咗搏溝到人地個妹妹仔㗎咋喎?
-力 ...
Lik 發表於 2011-7-13 15:48 
what if chesirecat=fy789 haha
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 18:56
回復 41# habitrailspace
I'm not fy789....or whoever you are thinking...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 18:58
回復 40# ricrick
what?...?
作者: playingtoy 時間: 2011-7-13 19:12
佢真係無同你請點解咩?
ricrick 發表於 2011-7-13 18:08 
ricrick話問你個bf有無同你交待breakup個reason
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 19:23
回復 44# playingtoy
as far as I know...1 week before breakup...he said his parents have a big argument.....then on the day of break up...he just suddenly say we are 性格不合...
作者: playingtoy 時間: 2011-7-13 19:25
回復 playingtoy
as far as I know...1 week before breakup...he said his parents have a big ar ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 19:23 
do you think you can help him out in anyways
作者: mcjohnjohn 時間: 2011-7-13 19:28
其實作為男仔/人。。。你地係唔係都係覺得一段感情一有argue 就係無將來...? ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-14 05:53 
有argue 既感情會冇將來? 兩舊木放埋一齊就冇argue...
人就總有argue, 邊有可能冇argue 呢? 為左怕argue 而乜野都收埋就好危險啊! 一爆就不可收拾呢~
作者: MoiRhapsody 時間: 2011-7-13 19:31
吓??
如果四年都冇argue咁就真係可能悶到要分手.....
作者: playingtoy 時間: 2011-7-13 19:50
do you think you can help him out in anyways
playingtoy 發表於 2011-7-13 19:25 
or did you always wanna break up with him at the bottom of your heart just that he has more gut to put it upfront, and now that he said it, and you took it, you are really thinking harder of what was that all about 喊唔出又唔係真笑仲想搬去個gym度住你絕對無問題
作者: sheep 時間: 2011-7-13 20:05
分手分享會
第一次會員大會
本星期五開會
有冇人報名?
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 20:07
回復 46# playingtoy
i asked before we break if i can help me or even just stay and comfort him if he really doesn't want to talk...but he would not talk about it ..he just hides everything in his heart...I almost try to cheer him up everyday will like emails of funny pics or just sending some messages telling him to add oil and be happy...
but i guess he thinks breakup was the most way to help him out?....sigh...I don't know...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 20:09
回復 47# mcjohnjohn
所以我更覺得我死得不明不白。。because he say we 性格不合 because we argue... (但我地係only like tiny arguments...we never even argue more than 1-2days)...
作者: playingtoy 時間: 2011-7-13 20:12
係阿,有無人報名??
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 20:14
回復 53# playingtoy
報名 to do what?
作者: playingtoy 時間: 2011-7-13 20:18
回復 54# chesirecat
我都唔朱阿,mr sheep 話既
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 20:26
o..haha..sorry...you people reply too fast...I missed few messages before... but to reply you on the earlier message...no...at no point i want to break up with him at all...even if I did say to him was only those 女人口是心非嘅說話..(but i guess even just saying was a part of my fault)...and at the moment of break up or around break up time...we were not fighting at all...
replying mr sheep's meeting...what are we sharing?...how to cope with feelings or how horrible relationship is?
作者: sheep 時間: 2011-7-13 20:44
what are we sharing?...how to cope with feelings or how horrible relationship is?
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 20:26 
咩都好喇
開開心心咪當黑板字
刷咗佢囉
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 21:02
總之。。以家整係覺得好難過。。。好辛苦啦。。。
作者: mcjohnjohn 時間: 2011-7-13 21:19
回復 mcjohnjohn
所以我更覺得我死得不明不白。。because he say we 性格不合 because we argue... ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-14 12:09 
當佢講既野係真, 真係連少少argue 都接受唔到的話, 我相信佢會孤獨終老. 當然人會變, 佢應該慢慢會接受有argue 呢樣野, 咁只可以話你地timing 唔岩, 因為大家仲未成熟到可以長相斯守.
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 21:20
回復 59# playingtoy
講唔講錯野都無乜所謂喇。我大概都明你講乜。你下次打中文我都睇得明架。。no need to say sorry ..我又唔會嬲你..除非你係特登人身攻擊就不同講法....but anyways...
總至以家唔知想點咁。。。。唔想放棄但又唔到我揀。。想忘記又未做到。。。總之就乜都唔得咁
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 21:25
回復 59# mcjohnjohn
Totally agree...
作者: bbgun 時間: 2011-7-13 21:26
I went through something similar lately. After 3 years of being in a more-than-stable relationship, my gf told me she likes someone else and we broke up. Turns out they started before we broke up. I was ready to make every sacrifice for her, and I did. Easier, in a sense, for me to forget her compared to your situation but I feel your pain. Not knowing the real reason and having the person you got accustomed to for 3 or 4 years just...disappear from your life all of a sudden, hurts.
Go out, have fun, talk it out with your friends, and just chill with friends. You'll realize friends will be always be there for you. Let things happen, only time will tell! There's nothing you can really do I guess...
I noticed MANY unexpected break-ups this year... personally and celebrities too lol
作者: mcjohnjohn 時間: 2011-7-13 21:31
回復 mcjohnjohn
Totally agree...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-14 13:25 
既然agree, 唯有認命啦! 人生漫長, 你仲有好多路要走. 若你相信緣份, 有朝一日, 當大家成熟了, 人生經驗豐富了, 某年某月某日, 說不定會在街上碰見. 到時是點頭之交, 寒暄兩句; 或是陌路人一般, 互不理睬; 又或是愛火重燃, 白首偕老. 一切也是緣.
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 21:40
回復 62# bbgun
exactly...its just like almost losing a family member....every morning and night still wanting to say good morning or good night...but suddenly you're banned to do everything you are accustom to
I do appreciate those friends who still listen to me whining how sad I am everyday and I'm also thankful to everyone on LYK to even just comment and try to cheer me up...I hope some day I can tell you all that I have healed but for now..I can only vent here and there and to face my feelings...
not really la...theres also many happy news like marriage and having kids this year too..just we are the unlucky ones this year...perhaps we will be the lucky ones next year i guess...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 21:47
回復 63# mcjohnjohn
Mcjohnjohn 師兄。。咁我又有一個問題wor..to choose to be friends be stranger..or even be couple again...is that not something 我地選擇?...Is it still 緣 if one side does not believe?
作者: playingtoy 時間: 2011-7-13 21:51
回復 60# chesirecat
我個issue係我會用英文講左D會得罪人既野但係我自己唔豬所以我問一問你
是真的!我得罪了hau doh hau doh ren。天天都在補鑊。
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 22:04
回復 66# playingtoy
don't worry 啦...學任何language 都係易學難精(?)。。我D中文都唔係太好。。不過古語有話。。"practice makes perfect"...用得多就知到咩用法就唔會得罪因了...
作者: mcjohnjohn 時間: 2011-7-13 22:05
回復 mcjohnjohn
Mcjohnjohn 師兄。。咁我又有一個問題wor..to choose to be friends be stranger. ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-14 13:47 
緣呢樣野, 當然包括人既選擇啦~
timing 唔岩, 分手並唔係災難黎既. 你唔需要太傷心, 只要繼續向前走, 緣總會跟你遇上的.
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 22:14
回復 68# mcjohnjohn
咁唯有希望。。好嘅緣會下次出現。。唔使再抖抖轉轉傷多幾十次先揾到mr. right....
作者: mcjohnjohn 時間: 2011-7-13 22:22
回復 mcjohnjohn
咁唯有希望。。好嘅緣會下次出現。。唔使再抖抖轉轉傷多幾十次先揾到mr ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-14 14:14 
冇記錯的話你都知道自己有乜野缺點, 只要你有心向前走, 去改善既話, 緣份出來時, 你便更有把握將佢抓緊. 受傷係痛, 但亦不失為一次段練. 段練令人成長, 令人更清楚自己想要什麼.
加油啊! 容許自己在人生的旅程上休息一會, 便要再啟航了! 最後, 我MJJ 叔叔(唔係麥當奴叔叔)祝你找到一生既幸福啊~
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 22:33
回復 70# mcjohnjohn
thankyou very much...
作者: Prelude 時間: 2011-7-13 22:40
A better future will come.
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 22:53
回復 72# Prelude
So far...I am still not really in the mode to believe that...but I will hope it does one day come...
作者: Prelude 時間: 2011-7-13 22:59
回復 Prelude
So far...I am still not really in the mode to believe that...but I will hope it ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 22:53 
Everyone have been through it, don't worry about it too much.
I have been through it few times and still going through one as we speak.
作者: auyatyat 時間: 2011-7-13 23:01
the best is yet to come...
good luck!
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 23:20
I just want to say Thankyou to EVERYONE on here..(eventhough I may not have reply each of your comments..) but I hope soon one day.. I can tell you all I have move on but for now...I can only tell you all that I really really thankyou and appreciate EVERYONE's comment..
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-13 23:25
回復 74# Prelude
gum this time is not my first either...I know I will survive..but just don't know how long this time will take...which is also my most worry...for I do not want to go on like a crazy person for longtime ...
作者: Catpiano 時間: 2011-7-14 06:52
No need to 快D忘記 .. it is part of your life ..
I was dumped (long time ago) after 5 yr relationship with my EX la.. even I did nothing wrong, but women .. when they change, they change ga la...
I didn't plan to or try to forget her la.. still keep in touch wor ..
Even my EX-EX, my EX-EX-Ex, etc etc .. I still keep in touch with most of them, even we all married now with our own family and kids .. just a process and life experience jei ..
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-14 10:01
I know it is part of life experience..but I think this is something different between men and women...men always want to be friends again...but atleast for me..I think it is pathetic to keep in touch...maybe after 20years when married maybe ..but to be friends again just after breakup is just horrible...does men not realize that we can't forget them if they want to be friends!?...what is even the idea of being friends..><...argh...personally I don't hate you..but that idea just explode me inside..
作者: sheep 時間: 2011-7-14 10:36
I hope soon one day.. I can tell you all I have move on chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 23:20 
就星期五喇
作者: Catpiano 時間: 2011-7-14 10:56
I know it is part of life experience..but I think this is something different between men and women. ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-14 10:01 
Well ... but then of course, my EX, ExEx etc are women .. and they like to keep in touch with me.. (and their other EXs) actually, always the female side want to keep in touch with their EXs .. Yes, Women and Men are different, once having new love, women will forget/ignore/no feeling with the EXs, so they don't mind to be just friend with guys... but guys are a bit different, even with new love, or wife .. more or less still miss/with feeling with their EXs .. so guys won't voice out first to keep in touch with their EXs ..

作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-14 15:57
why do guys do that?......why they can have someone else...and still miss/feeling with their ex?.....WHY?....
作者: Catpiano 時間: 2011-7-14 17:20
Why not? nothing's wrong wor .. not mean they are going to love the other women other then their gf/wives, not mean to have affair, it is part of memory.
May be I shouldn't say have "feeling" .. just some weird feel ..
^_^
作者: soli 時間: 2011-7-14 17:44
本帖最後由 soli 於 2011-7-14 17:45 編輯
回復 82# chesirecat
[youtube]wrGqcLc4KmA[/youtube]
誰陪著我回家 你知道吧 不甘心嗎
當 我是傻瓜 不可點化 才放棄你 望著你走吧
其實與她 都間中吵架 無奈當天 說起婚嫁 還是挑選她
* 從前情人好嗎 現在幸福嗎 還生氣嗎 誰人何時替我 給你一個家
從前情人還好嗎 尚獨身嗎 還想我嗎 無緣成為最愛 卻又很牽掛
# 從前情人好嗎 自己都驚訝 哎呀呀呀分開 加倍念掛 (你不信吧)
最懂得我脾氣 是你吧 其實那天 親你時 難忘記她
讓你 猜到吧 識破吧 由於心死 才會不說話
其實這天 當我親她 同樣一般那麼想你 難道你未明嗎
作者: playingtoy 時間: 2011-7-14 18:13
有朝會暫別離
不會成障礙
清風裡都找到愛
哈哈哈哈
哈哈哈哈
千山裡都找到愛
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_UfLU9jp10
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-14 19:25
回復 chesirecat
誰陪著我回家 你知道吧 不甘心嗎
當 我是傻瓜 不可點化 才放棄你 望著你走吧
其實與 ...
soli 發表於 2011-7-14 17:44 
that is like in THE situation..
...it made me cry even just reading the lyrics...except...i still do not believe in the idea of kissing someone else and thinking about ex...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-14 19:27
回復 85# playingtoy
that sounds like before I was born....but is this not a love song more than a sad song??
作者: playingtoy 時間: 2011-7-14 20:40
回復 87# chesirecat
最後果句英文唔明
is this not a love song more than a sad song
是否:這比較像是首情歌,不是哀怨的歌
還是相反?
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-14 20:43
這比較像是首情歌,不是哀怨的<< correct...thats what I mean... sound too happy and with love....
作者: Nox 時間: 2011-7-15 03:22
本帖最後由 Nox 於 2011-7-15 03:24 編輯
Girl, I broke up with my fiance right before our wedding, after being with her for 10 years.
Looking back, I can say one thing, NEVER deny a past relationship. No matter if it worked out or not, it's a part of your life. It's a part of your history, it's a part of you. Treasure the relationship when it brought you laughter, but also treasure it when you are crying and feel heartache. That pain is evidence that you were indeed putting feelings, emotions, and trust into the relationship. Know that this is a proof that you are not one of those heartless ones who come and go in a relationship like it's just a toy.
There's no way you can completely seal yourself away from this risk of suffering if you put out relationship, but if you learn to accept this pain and treasure it, you'll have the guts to put your heart out to find someone who in return treasures you.
作者: kwan1024 時間: 2011-7-15 11:32
套火星爺爺既一句說話:
人生就好似一場接力賽!!!仲記得我地細個既時候比簡中為班跑接力已經好開心,就算唔係最後個一棒,有得代表班參加就真係好興奮"
你既EX就係你人生接力賽既其中一棒,雖然佢唔係你最後個棒陪唔到你最後,但係至少你地曾經一齊跑過,有共同既回憶" 你一定要繼續向前行向前跑"庶就會搵到陪你號人生最後一段路既接棒者!!!!
記住,過去會過去的!!!
寂寞不會傷害你
但你自己會。
我不想騙你明天還會更好尤其是下一個情人會更好
但無論如何
別自殺
要活著
因為一切,是真的會過去。
BY橘子 http://www.wretch.cc/blog/spyorange/27098384
作者: Quest 時間: 2011-7-15 11:58
@ OP:
Just hang in there , be positive about everything and learn to live by one day at a time...
Over time, your wound will close and you shall become more positive....a full life is ahead of your and your true luv is awaiting in not so distant future for you.
*I'm a strong believer that for every men/women, throughout one's life: there's a true luv "assigned" to you already (and it's by fate). Whether you manage to get on to the opportunity or not, it's really up to you.
So, best of luck to you (I got mine already, and it's been that way for over 16 yrs...luv still goes strong)
Quest-TD
作者: fongparker 時間: 2011-7-15 16:28
Time will heal all pain especially in love relationship. Trust me.
作者: meowmeowmeow 時間: 2011-7-15 19:07
本帖最後由 meowmeowmeow 於 2011-7-15 19:09 編輯
Add oil ar...
[youtube]sdypFYw4Obo&feature=related[/youtube]
作曲: 頡臣
填詞: 黃偉文
編曲: Johnny Yim
監製: 舒文
你和那誰那天分手
你淚痕像條綠色的銹
頑固地種在眼睛一角 直到永久 抹不走
但是浮游在 生活亂流
你那新生 你也必須接受
就算多悔咎 自責別太久
不要戀戀心裡 那個傷口
渡日月 穿山水
尚在恨 那 誰
誰曾無堅不摧
摧毀的廢墟
一早 變做 你美好新居
創疤你不挖 亦不知有過 在這裡
淚叠淚 風一吹
漸莫辨 那 誰
連重提往事也 不再絕對
她怎傷害你 講起 你沒再 吐苦水
有時你還覺得溫馨
這淚流像存在的表證
沒有恨過便更加彷似 白過半生 冷清清
像突然忘掉 尊姓大名
卻記得她 教你差點喪命
是創傷太重 或覺悟太輕
使你不懂釋放 怨懟的根性
渡日月 穿山水
尚在恨 那 誰
誰曾無堅不摧
摧毀的廢墟
一早 變做 你美好新居
創疤你不挖 亦不知有過 在這裡
淚叠淚 風一吹
漸莫辨 那 誰
連重提往事也 不再絕對
她怎傷害你 感恩 替代了那苦水
誰沒兩個致命舊愛侶
不見得 就要聽到春天也恐懼
可以不唏噓 可以不心虛
放低跨過去
渡日月 穿山水
尚在恨 那 誰
誰曾無堅不摧 摧毀的廢墟
一早 變做了 滿山青翠
敏感處不碰 便不知你葬著心碎
若舊夢 不堪追
就別問 那 誰
從何時 你學會 灑脫面對
她怎傷害你 可否就當做老天
完整你那 沒挫敗波折一生之旅
功德圓滿 方可愛下去
帶笑歸去
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-15 20:53
回復 94# meowmeowmeow
omg!..this is the first song my cousin send me to listen after the break up...is it like a new 分手song of 'so wing hong'?....I actually only could understand the girls words..lol...I dont really understand what the song lyrics really mean even with your lyrics...is it just saying is part of life kind of thing?? thankyou for the song+lyrics...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-15 20:56
回復 93# fongparker
I guess I'm just very eager to either forget or move on right away la..I just don't want to go through the pain everyday or even go through the pain at all...sigh.but its just hard when you "used" to love some one so much and suddenly things just change...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-15 20:59
回復 92# Quest
as someone that is very pessimistic....for me its hard to learn to be positive especially at these kind of moments...but I do thankyou for the support...and hope one day I will understand the idea of predestined relationships...and hope my future or even next relationship would be as luck as you...
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-15 21:06
回復 91# kwan1024
thankyou for the support....i like the part "寂寞不會傷害你, 但你自己會"...i understand things will past....but the race of life scares me....how much more until I meet the one who 最後一段路既接棒者....it kills to know that i can still get my heart broken 10million more times 
作者: chesirecat 時間: 2011-7-15 21:16
回復 90# Nox
thankyou for the support...i guess im still in the mode of suffering so treasuring the relationship is still not something I can really do yet...but I do understand that for now i will need to go through the pain before going to the good part..
作者: asukai 時間: 2011-7-16 03:10
本帖最後由 asukai 於 2011-7-16 03:15 編輯
[youtube]5wQHlkmm2ds[/youtube]
[youtube]sGXV3JeXCZA[/youtube]
i kno its a bit old but very 到肉~
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