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標題: 放手等於偉大??? [打印本頁]

作者: Purpleheart 時間: 2008-3-28 16:59 標題: 放手等於偉大???

剛剛看到一篇文章

" 男人的放手愛情論

29/03/2008
文：深雪

也許，男人的愛情等於放手。一對男女討論將來，女孩子的個性進取，知道自己想要些甚麼；男孩子的個性溫和，萬事以女孩子為先。
一天，女孩子問男孩子，若然她遇上另一個好男人，男孩子怎辦？男孩子的答案是：「我會放手。」

女孩子不滿，她覺得，如果男孩子真的愛她，就會設法贏回她的心，而不是消極地讓她被其他男人搶走。

女孩子說，真正的愛情是守護。愛一個人，便要守護這份情，不要被其他人干擾，而且更要做許多事滋養感情，令二人的關係更好。而當她被其他男人追求時，
她會期望原本的男朋友緊地爭回她。

男孩子始終認為，犧牲和退出，才是真正的偉大。要是第三者的條件好，他是會讓路的，因為，他希望女孩子生活得更豐足。

女孩子也就知道，她不能以激將法來令這個人更愛她，這個男孩子一旦受刺激，就會即刻放手。

她想到的是，若然有其他女人追求她的男朋友，她一定使出渾身解數來殺敵。於她來說，肯去爭、肯去拚命，才是愛情。

究竟，男人是懶還是偉大？為愛情拚搏的男人、勇於爭奪女人的男人，是否只存在於小說和電影面？

女孩子叫嚷：「你真係又懶又悶！」男孩子笑不同意，他覺得自己最了解愛情. "

我想知道男生們的想法....
如果你地鐘意左個女仔但佢已經有男朋友了~~ 你地會放棄還是繼續鼓起勇氣愛她 / 追求她??

作者: slamdunk6 時間: 2008-3-28 17:10

放手
爭取只會令自己變成第三者，又或者係三角關係既開始

作者: SAZABI 時間: 2008-3-28 17:21

原帖由 Purpleheart 於 2008-3-28 16:59 發表
我想知道男生們的想法....
如果你地鐘意左個女仔但佢已經有男朋友了~~ 你地會放棄還是繼續鼓起勇氣愛她 / 追求她??

唔會. 週街咁多女仔, 咁多選擇... 為左一個未相處過既女仔去同人爭? 無謂啦...

作者: chunsh 時間: 2008-3-28 17:23

no dude, why being a "third person" while u can get some better in the future

作者: akshea 時間: 2008-3-28 20:01

IF you want to 贏, you might lose. If you 犧牲和退出, you will never lose.
It's a cultural thing. I think the "男人" in this article mostly targeting the guys from HK. I doubt 男人 from other places would feel the same way.

作者: akshea 時間: 2008-3-28 20:13

如果你地鐘意左個女仔但佢已經有男朋友了~~ 你地會放棄還是繼續鼓起勇氣愛她 / 追求她??
The "女仔" in this situation can be replaced by an object, like a car, a house or a shirt because there is no love involve. The 男人 merely WANT or would like to have the 女仔 to be his GF. This is just a situation to see if the guy is brave enough to take what he wants from another guy. However, things would be a lot more complicated if there is "love" involved and it shouldn't be discussed as a general case. Each story is different and it should always be inconclusive because there is no right or wrong. No one should ever judge on a relationship.

作者: makten 時間: 2008-3-28 21:04

I think 深雪 is a bunch of bull....always making stupid assumptions
There are no standards really...different people have different thoughts and actions...

作者: Alcoholic 時間: 2008-3-28 21:35

if the relationship doesn't have any flaws, then you can't budge in even if you're brave enough. if the girl/guy in the relationship has enough love, then sluts & man-whores will not be able to get on the ride

作者: shinnrhyme 時間: 2008-3-28 22:21

first u should try to get her back... otherwise u will regret...im 100% positive on that... but seriously... if the other guy is rich+ handsome+ love her as much as u do ( or almost ) then u should just quit... just do whats best for her... but.... if he keeps on making her cry ... then... thats another story...anywayz, 退出是为了她。。可以开心的过下去。。。如果真的爱她。。自己的心再怎么痛都可以忍的。。那个男孩是对的，牺牲自己是为了让她可以过的更好。争取，拼命有一半是为了自己的感受。。而那个男孩认为她的感觉比自己的更重要。

作者: utopia 時間: 2008-3-28 23:33

I think most mature men would choose let go of the girl because they understand sometimes, love cannot be forced. And it's not worthed it to be in a tri-angle situation.

作者: slamdunk6 時間: 2008-3-29 01:12

原帖由 Alcoholic 於 2008-3-28 21:35 發表
if the relationship doesn't have any flaws, then you can't budge in even if you're brave enough. if the girl/guy in the relationship has enough love, then sluts & man-whores will not be able to get on ...

呢個世界邊有couple無問題架，有問題唔代表就有藉口去接受第三者加入

作者: Alcoholic 時間: 2008-3-29 01:49

原帖由 slamdunk6 於 2008-3-29 01:12 AM 發表

呢個世界邊有couple無問題架，有問題唔代表就有藉口去接受第三者加入

true.
but people still accept the 第三者. break ups/hook ups don't need a reason, some might give a reason, but they can also choose to use an excuse. that's how this world runs.

作者: satsuki 時間: 2008-3-29 12:27

for文章：會試o下爭取。唔得既話，想唔“犧牲and退出”都唔得啦~

for ur question:
我想知道男生們的想法.... （sorry我不是男生btw）
如果你地鐘意左個女仔但佢已經有男朋友了~~ 你地會放棄還是繼續鼓起勇氣愛她 / 追求她??

90%唔會: coz 你追到，都驚第時其他人可以追o左去; "追得到都未必好"吖嘛

10%會: 睇情況啦

作者: Teacup 時間: 2008-3-30 14:13 標題: it's happening now, i know how it feels like

I am like the guy in this situation,
and my boy friend (ex) who is still living with me is the girl in the story,

..he told me ..he found someone that he never felt like this before...he never thought about marrying me, not that far, but he told me he wanted to marry her already after meeting her once...

it hurts a lot, and it is still hurting, so what can i do?
I've spent 3 yrs with him (2 yrs living together),

But without this happened, I never realized what love really is.
I've been having so much suffering, which enlightened me that I was just some selfish girl who wanted to simply 'find someone who makes me happy', instead of knowing what love is, is to give.

He leaving me, makes me clear that of something that I wasn't sure, is love, what love is.
My "Being" side finally awake and learn to love him, the people around, the world.
I truly hope the best for him, and hope he will be happy.

My "Human" side which consists of my ego acts up from time to time and curse the girl and him, I just can't help it. This transition is really hard.

After all, I just wanna say, if we really understand what love is, we will let go.

If you love him (her), let him have love (her).

Loving someone and being with someone is always two different things...

It would be nice, if I have friends can understand me and talk to me, but too bad,
they are all about cars, investments, fashion, TVs

and my only soul mate, him, is leaving me... the feeling of loneliness and emptiness is killing me softly... I need someone to talk to, but I don't know where that person is...

[ 本帖最後由 Teacup 於 2008-3-30 14:22 編輯 ]

作者: chihiro 時間: 2008-4-2 19:39

原帖由 Teacup 於 2008-3-30 14:13 發表
I am like the guy in this situation,
and my boy friend (ex) who is still living with me is the girl in the story,

..he told me ..he found someone that he never felt like this before...he never thoug ...

Teacup, time will smooth out your breaking heart. I was in the same situation as you. I've been with him for almost 10 years, then he has affair couple months ago. I really really love him, but the longer the triangle relationship goes, the more I got hurt. Instead of hurting all three of us, I decided to let go. Let him free, thats the way I convert my love to him now. If thats the girl for him, I would be very happy for him. Now, I keep praying for him everyday and wish that he can be happy all the time.

作者: Guy 時間: 2008-4-2 23:19

放手等於 freedom / new life

作者: GAClone 時間: 2008-4-11 20:55

i think that in this case, most people (or HK-ers) will ultimately leave the relationship just b/c him or her think it's the best for the situation.

but in the scenario, if the girl WANTS her bf to try harder just to keep her, then she is just testing his love for her...which i think is quite BS...

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