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標題: 人際關係~~ [打印本頁]

作者: Purpleheart 時間: 2008-4-15 23:42 標題: 人際關係~~

有時你地覺唔覺得人際關係既野好複雜?, 我覺得得到一段感情比得到一份友情更容易

好多時候我都係被排擠的一個~ 我自問對人好~ 被孤立的感覺好難受......

有o的人好有交際手腕~ 好快就可以同人熟~ 其實我都好想改善自己呢樣野~ 究竟點樣先可以成為一個容易相處的人?

作者: chunsh 時間: 2008-4-16 00:01

有時你地覺唔覺得人際關係既野好複雜?, 我覺得得到一段感情比得到一份友情更容易

人關係從來就沒有間單過﹐同常一段感情裡面﹐你同你愛人之外﹐所有人都是配角(有
第三者situation除外)﹐所以在一段感情中你只需要知道對方同自己的需要﹐但一班
朋友就不同了﹐你沒有聽過一個group裡面有三個or 以上就會有politics?

好多時候我都係被排擠的一個~ 我自問對人好~ 被孤立的感覺好難受......

曾有相似經驗﹐但回想過來﹐我也發覺自己原來有很多不是的地方。不過同常要等一
段時間﹐自己冷靜想清楚才發現

有o的人好有交際手腕~ 好快就可以同人熟~ 其實我都好想改善自己呢樣野~ 究竟點樣先可以成為一個容易相處的人?

人夾人緣﹐這是不可能理解的﹐有些人樣子不是很英俊 / 可人﹐但他們卻能attract
很多朋友/異性﹐有些人樣子沒什麼不妥﹐卻又因為樣子好像很aggressive / 串﹐
所以就算沒有意思串人卻永遠不能太易討好別人(對﹐ 我是說我自己)

不過我也沒有不開心﹐就是因為我不太容易討好人去做我的朋友﹐所以現在stick
with 我的朋友都係真正能/願意和我做friend的

關於別人的排擠﹐不用太擔心/傷心了
記著﹐"曹操都有知心友﹐關公亦有對頭人"

作者: zoids 時間: 2008-4-16 00:08

Read more newspaper, get more knowledge, this will definitely help you to be able to talk to other people or get into their topics with some valid points.

NEVER GOSSIP behind ppl coz usually that's why ppl got alienated. Keeping secret is very important too if you want ppl to share true opinions/ideas with you.

作者: Purpleheart 時間: 2008-4-16 00:18

男人要吸引女人唔一定外貌既~ ~~ 好多野都可以吸引到架~~~ i am talking about personalities~

可能自己一路都以愛情為重~ 忽略了友情同人際關係~ 我一路都用左好多時間去了解男性的想法~ 卻忽略了同性的想法~~~

其實我外表一o的都唔吸引~~~ 但係身邊 90% 都係男性朋友~~~ 我覺得同男仔做 friend 係容易o的~~~ 可能去了解男性太久~ 連自己也變成一個男仔~
但女生嘛~~ 我真係唔知點樣可以同女仔相處~ 我識的女仔都係小器~ 愛搞小圈子~ 愛講人是非~ 妒忌心重......唔通要自己變到佢地一樣先做到朋友?

作者: Littleprince 時間: 2008-4-16 00:19

呢個係一個藝術﹐如果你真係想改進﹐係有課程讀﹐教你點同唔同的人相處。。。人分為好多種﹐你要先了解對方屬於邊種人﹐而你又係邊種﹐然後針對唔同情況作唔同回應﹐並且避免衝突。

最簡單易學的方法就是﹐多點微笑﹐主動同人打招呼﹐對人好一點﹐唔好多嘴講人壞話﹐這是最基本的。

作者: whitecho 時間: 2008-4-16 00:53

正所謂「物以類聚」。同聲同氣自然會做到朋友。
有 D 人表面上真係好容易同人熟，好多朋友咁
但時間耐左
你會發覺佢地交心既朋友其實同普通人差唔多

作者: Alcoholic 時間: 2008-4-16 01:01

如果你係一個正常人（有基本禮儀，態度隨和）我覺得黎樣野冇得學。
好多時，就算你對人好，冇機心，人緣好，有D人都會睇你唔順眼，因為佢地妒忌人緣好, out-going popular既人。
相反，如果你選擇做一個nobody, 又會有D人覺得你怪，爛神祕，太靜，唔入群。
所以人緣好唔好，睇下你同個個人夾唔夾架姐~
每個人個性不同，滿足唔到所有人既。所謂人緣好與唔好is very subjective.

我覺得（& 我自己對人既態度）: 有禮貌，凡事保持友善態度，對得起自己，真誠待人已經夠~ 我最憎恨虛偽，不坦誠，以貌取人(including people who don't know you well enough to make comments about you)，或冇料但係擺出一副不可一世既attitude既人。對黎幾種人我自問真係唔夾。

同男性friend D,冇咩問題丫~ 大概可能男仔通常冇咁婆媽，有個句講個句，有義氣，夠爽，冇D女人咁陰濕心病掛~ 好事黎既！

and i think that keeping my social circle small is good. less complicated. more real & with heart.
also, i'm very picky about "classifying my friends". i'm friendly, out going enough, but i'm definitely not the type that i call everyone that i know "my friends". basically, all the people that i know, i have this kind of catagory to catagorize my social relationship with that person:
- acquaintences (people that i know their name and only know less than 5 personal facts about them, Vice Versa)
- knowledge-able friends (people that are friendly, but no in-depth conversations & facts sharing)
- friends (people that i chill with, like, trust, have good conversations & good times)
- good friends (people that i trust alot, knows each other's personal thoughts & info)
- best friends till death do us part (completely understanding & accepting each other's personalities, time & distance will not do us part)

[ 本帖最後由 Alcoholic 於 2008-4-16 01:11 編輯 ]

作者: pigheadbone 時間: 2008-4-16 07:07

I find friendships, in general, have a really high maintainence cost for me, yet I cannot do without them....

It takes a lot of effort to build up, but can be destroyed easily - seems kind of like a risky investment. I hope I don't end up having to manage friends like asset management...

作者: SAZABI 時間: 2008-4-16 09:42

如果你唔係超衰格, 做返自己就得. 自然會搵到你既朋友.

作者: utopia 時間: 2008-4-16 09:42

相反，如果你選擇做一個nobody, 又會有D人覺得你怪，爛神祕，太靜，唔入群。

twin,

you talking about me??

Anyways, I think I have the same problem with purple heart.
Not sure how you think about me , twin.
But I never have a lot of friends but I am always there to help people and friends. Always polite ga wor...
oh well.... may be I just look much like b*tch or cocky?

作者: LOK 時間: 2008-4-16 10:26

如果你唔係精神有問題, 以為自己好有錢, 再周圍吋人. 你應該會搵到朋友.

作者: Alcoholic 時間: 2008-4-16 10:39

Twin,
i'm talking about this generally...

i used to be an out cast
thus, i tried to change & be out going

but either way, i concluded that it won't make you happy unless you're being your true self and be whatever you feel like at that moment.

i think that as long as you don't have an attitude or communication problems with lack of manners & respect, you are fine the way you are.

the point that i'm trying to make is that: you can't satisfied people. be yourself, and your true compatible friends will eventually come into your life and make a good strong relationship where differences are appreciated & accepted.

to me Twin, you have a very good heart & a kind personality. as i gotten to know you, i realize that you're more shy and less brave than i anticipated from knowing you from your posts

you treat your friends real, with heart, and knows how to appreciate/treasure your friends for each kind deed & happy moments. honestly, just by looking at you, you nowhere look b!tchy/cocky at all. being with you is comfortable, & makes me feel secure speaking my private thoughts to share with you. i love you lots!

作者: 布小熊 時間: 2008-4-16 10:42

但女生嘛~~ 我真係唔知點樣可以同女仔相處~ 我識的女仔都係小器~ 愛搞小圈子~ 愛講人是非~ 妒忌心重......唔通要自己變到佢地一樣先做到朋友?

Well... If all the female around you are like that... then you don't have to force yourself to be their friends.
BUT... if you think ALL girls are like that... may be you have some adjustment to make about your attitude.
I don't do a lot of girlie things...e.g. I don't like to go to bathroom as a group with my female friends (I don't understand why they like to...), don't really like shopping for clothes...etc, ... but I still have female friends.
It's more about "夾唔夾".

作者: utopia 時間: 2008-4-16 11:56

Well, I guess I know what's my problem is and trying to address it slowly. I guess I'm not shy but defensive in front of girls? It's just my personality is very straightforward and not a calculating person. Things to me doesn't matters at all, people would expect a lot. Things that I won't put it in my hear, people would remember it until they die. Especially, after few betrayals from girls, (real ones), I become very defensive in front of girls..and very careful on what I speak.... I only open my heart to girls that I trust completely, for instance, my twin

So most of the time, I'm very quiet in a group ....

Brave and outgoing? hahaha, that's something I never able to accomplish...I'm not brave but I'm strong deep down in my heart. Being strong, doesn't mean I won't cry but I can quickly stand up and move forward after failure.

Twin,

Heheheee, thank you for your comments on me lol.
I love you lots too.., that's what I always tell caveman.
I understand your good and bad but overall, I still love your goods more than bad kakakaka.

作者: SAZABI 時間: 2008-4-16 12:06

Utopis, I don't konw why you want to thank alcol for the comment...

"i realize that you're more shy and less brave than i anticipated from knowing you from your posts "
aka
"you sound like a bitch on the forum"

wahhahahha~ (run and hide now)

作者: SAZABI 時間: 2008-4-16 12:08

原帖由 LOK 於 2008-4-16 10:26 發表
如果你唔係精神有問題, 以為自己好有錢, 再周圍吋人. 你應該會搵到朋友.

and won't be banned on any forum

作者: Alcoholic 時間: 2008-4-16 12:11

原帖由 utopia 於 2008-4-16 11:56 AM 發表
I understand your good and bad but overall, I still love your goods more than bad kakakaka.

我知道我自己好曳

作者: utopia 時間: 2008-4-16 12:20

Sazabi,

Ever heard of people who always hold their anger, eventually will burst the limited and gone crazy?

作者: Yui 時間: 2008-4-16 12:26

To me, I maintain relationships including friendships with multi-personalities, I have different ways to deal with different people. I could be playful & talkative with one group of friends, quiet and serious with another.

I know deep down I am not fake, it is the same me, but I try to apply different people skills when facing dynamics to maintain the chemistry or "sparkle".

作者: SAZABI 時間: 2008-4-16 12:38

原帖由 utopia 於 2008-4-16 12:20 發表
Sazabi,

Ever heard of people who always hold their anger, eventually will burst the limited and gone crazy?

err... U or the crazy rich guy?

作者: Traum 時間: 2008-4-16 12:49

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

作者: Purpleheart 時間: 2008-4-16 19:47

thank you for all the comments and suggestion!!

估唔到男同女唔單只對愛情的看法不同~ 連交朋友的看法都係唔一樣~~

" 如果你唔係精神有問題, 以為自己好有錢, 再周圍吋人. 你應該會搵到朋友. "

真係咁簡單就好喇~~

Utopia, 我同你既性格都係一樣~~ 我來自單親家庭~~ 細個屋企人驚我學壞, 就同我講叫我唔好太輕易信人~ 又唔俾我同朋友仔出街~ 由
細到大都係孤獨精~~~ 所以我都係好保護自己~~~ 我知道如果我信任o個個人同埋有安全感, 我就會同o個個人好多野講~~

布小熊你說得對, 有時唔一定要 force自己同人 friend~ 但我所指身邊所認識的女仔都係公司, ~ 一到 lunch 就成堆圍埋講人壞話, 評論人地的
衣著同化妝~ 天呀~ 日日如是~~~當然由於我唔係佢地既圈子, 佢地一見我走開就講我~~ 工作上又針對我~~~ 唉~~~

作者: siumaibb 時間: 2008-4-17 09:40

原帖由 Purpleheart 於 2008-4-16 19:47 發表
布小熊你說得對, 有時唔一定要 force自己同人 friend~ 但我所指身邊所認識的女仔都係公司, ~ 一到 lunch 就成堆圍埋講人壞話, 評論人地的
衣著同化妝~ 天呀~ 日日如是~~~當然由於我唔係佢地既圈子, 佢地一見我走開就講我~~ 工作上又針對我~~~ 唉~~~

你唔埋堆又點知人地講你？
OK, 就算佢地真係講你，佢地講你咩野？
有無諗過點解好地地人地會講你？點解人地會針對你？

我咁問係因為你講到你自己無乜點，但係就有班八婆睇你唔順眼同你過唔去。我覺得就算你唔埋堆，佢地咪最多唔理你，無啦啦點會睇你唔順眼，一定係你做左某D野(可以係好係壞)

Anyway, 如果你唔想改變自己我諗你最好搵過份工，如果你晌加拿大做野，鬼老公司應該無咁多講是非八婆(起碼我做跟果間無)，如果你晌香港做野，乾脆份多男少女既工做囉

作者: utopia 時間: 2008-4-17 10:10

Purpleheart,

I agree with siumaibb, I'm not saying you are wrong but you sounds like the "old me". Talk to your bf or friends, ask them what do they think about you. Not saying the goods but bad. It hurts but open your heart and listen and try to address it.

Sometimes, we just don't realize little things and habit can drive people nuts. Especially, if you remain quiet at work, the misunderstood will just getting worse. Not saying you have to argue with them but just pick a better opportunities to explain.

Don't just say to yourself, I'm innocent and I'm a good person and I don' t mean that way. Try to put yourself in their shoes, then you will find a difference. Good luck .

作者: superberry 時間: 2008-4-17 11:26

ya, do you assume people talking about you, or you heard them whispering "Purpleheart sucks"? When I was young (geeee, sounds like I am an old biscuit), I lacked self-confidence. Whenever people whispered, I assumed they were talking about me.

For working environment, as long as you are doing you job, not being too lazy, too inch or brushing your boss's shoes too obviously, who cares what other people say or think! As long as you are breathing, someone will talk about you, and there's always someone who do not like you....... like other people said, do a self-reflection. If there's nothing wrong with you, then who cares what other people say!

ps. I hate working in Chinese companies too..... those "bat por" love gossiping

作者: Babida 時間: 2008-4-17 20:45

人來人往
:-\

作者: Purpleheart 時間: 2008-4-18 00:01

我從來冇話自己 innocent, 無辜, 好人, 受害者,
我亦唔擦鞋, 唔做金手指, 亦懶得同老細 BS.......我希望我老細每日五點準時o係我面前消失!! haha

我只係有個疑問點解人與人之間要如此複雜~~~

其實我又何嘗唔係同佢地一樣, 返工等放 lunch, 食完 lunch 等放工然後無驚無險又一 day
自從我升左咪出事囉~ 我係唔出聲做野o個種人~~ 唔係勤力~ 只係想日日無驚無險又一天, 咪做好o的唔好俾人鬧囉
我做野唔好架~~~ 以前日日俾人鬧~~~ 但佢地有冇想過~ 如果佢地係老細~~ 會唔會升一個終日搞小圈子, 淨係圍埋說三道四唔做野既人 ??

你們說得很有道理o的人就係唔識檢討自己~~~
我亦唔會 care 人地的想法~~~總之做好自己~

這幾天我也想通了~~ " 珍惜自己擁有的朋友 , 那些令自己唔開心的人不要浪費時間為他們煩惱 "

作者: Yui 時間: 2008-4-18 06:48

原帖由 Babida 於 2008-4-17 20:45 發表
人來人往
:-\

緣來緣去

作者: utopia 時間: 2008-4-18 09:18

你們說得很有道理o的人就係唔識檢討自己~~~
我亦唔會 care 人地的想法~~~----> I hope you are not talking about people here on LYK who try to help you because I re-read the posts. I can only sense straightforward but not aggressive tone.

I guess my English is not good enough to express myself.
By saying innocent, I mean "not guilty" .

我亦唔會 care 人地的想法 ---> then you should never started this topic and ask for opinions. Opinions hurts sometimes, that's why I mentioned, open your heart to listen to opinions, even the bad comments.

If you are looking for comfort, you should stated earlier, so that we can response accordingly.

Work place is never an easy place to survive. There is no differences between Caucasian Company or Chinese company. It just Chinese do it on the surface or too obvious but Caucasian use a more subtle tone.

If you really seeking for help and want to improve the situation, you can buy some people skill self help book without hearing " harsh" comment.

p.s. I'm not picking a fight nor being against you. you can ignore my post if you want

作者: chunsh 時間: 2008-4-18 10:10

u want people to like u?
rules of thumbs: when people ask for opinions about things, u should first ask him/her about what is his/her OWN idea about what he/she is asking. Then u should give the opinion which follow his/her own opinion (except he/she is asking if he/she should kill him/herself)

everything has trade-off. u want someone to like u, u need to do/say something he/she like. The negative sideof my approach is needless to say, u guys can figure out

作者: siumaibb 時間: 2008-4-18 10:49

原帖由 Purpleheart 於 2008-4-18 00:01 發表
我從來冇話自己 innocent, 無辜, 好人, 受害者,
我亦唔擦鞋, 唔做金手指, 亦懶得同老細 BS.......我希望我老細每日五點準時o係我面前消失!! haha

我只係有個疑問點解人與人之間要如此複雜~~~

其實我又何嘗唔係 ...

"我只係有個疑問點解人與人之間要如此複雜"
呢個情形係咪淨係發生晌公司先？
如果係。。人夾人緣，講真，人際關係係轉工既一大原因，做得唔高興就不防轉工
如果唔係。。咁你真係要檢討下

作者: siumaibb 時間: 2008-4-18 10:52

原帖由 utopia 於 2008-4-18 09:18 發表
你們說得很有道理o的人就係唔識檢討自己~~~
我亦唔會 care 人地的想法~~~----> I hope you are not talking about people here on LYK who try to help you because I re-read the posts. I can only sense straight ...

utopia，咁你又唔洗咁慶，睇得出你有心幫佢，可能言語間有誤會嗟。。take it easy....

作者: superberry 時間: 2008-4-18 11:49

everywhere is like that..... when there are 3 or more people together, there's politics.

作者: chunsh 時間: 2008-4-18 11:55

原帖由 superberry 於 2008-4-18 11:49 發表
everywhere is like that..... when there are 3 or more people together, there's politics.

hey, copycat

作者: utopia 時間: 2008-4-18 12:29

原帖由 siumaibb 於 2008-4-18 10:52 發表

utopia，咁你又唔洗咁慶，睇得出你有心幫佢，可能言語間有誤會嗟。。take it easy....

Siumaibb ar,

I'm not mad at all wor, I just want to make it clear.

作者: whitecho 時間: 2008-4-20 23:16

My ex-boss taught me one thing few years ago "You are not a gold coin so do not expect everyone to love you"

作者: CWong 時間: 2008-4-21 03:00

要有自信，唔好太寸，斯斯文文，唔好做八婆！

作者: joyou 時間: 2008-5-14 19:19

我同你既想法真係一樣...
點都覺得男性比較容易溝通
加上剛剛同拍拖4年既男朋友分左手...呢4年日日差唔多都係2個人過..
慢慢就好少搵朋友...慢慢就越來越少朋友...
而家覺得自己過得好失敗..
我唔想再因為自己覺得悶而係返埋一齊...
所以今日特別register as member想認識多D朋友...

但係我覺得認識朋友係depends你願唔願意踏出第一步..
雖然...我都覺得好難......

作者: 阿朱 時間: 2008-5-14 19:38

我公司好多d同事都好識使手段，面具有好多個。你都唔知幾時先有機會見到真實d “他”或“她”。

作者: milkiwei 時間: 2008-5-16 22:11

i guess there maybe other factors such as personality, different point of view, and probably language barriers. In my english class now, everyone speaks mandarin and I become the odd ball. My mother tongue is cantonese, so even if i am friendly and stuff, we just can't communicate properly.

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