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標題: how to make friends after working [打印本頁]
作者: mucc1928    時間: 2008-9-16 21:34     標題: how to make friends after working

Hello everyone:

When i was in school, I had mnay friends.  After i graduated and started working, my firends either left Vancouver or lost contact.  I realized that my circle of friends shrinked.  2 years later,  my only group of friends is busy with their dating or personal life, so I end up being alone a lot lately.

I think my case may be a bit extreme, but I believe many Loyaukke have encountered or gone through this situation?

If so what do you do to change things around?  Not that I haven't tried to find clubs to join, but i tend to have trouble to mix into the circle even though i spent at least 3 to 4 months there.....
作者: pkphilip    時間: 2008-9-16 22:11

As you get older, it's harder to find friends.. haha.. usually you can know people through friends or huge gathering.. haha

Philip
作者: Purpleheart    時間: 2008-9-17 00:08

朋友? 你係指邊種朋友先? 對於我而言朋友貴精不貴多

我本人就覺得high school / university 的朋友係最真~
人 紀越大就越難交到知心朋友~~~ 出黎做野, 好多時人與人之間都會計較利益....利用價值....etc....
作者: librazhy    時間: 2008-9-17 07:52

wats ur main hobby?
作者: myversa    時間: 2008-9-17 08:05

I am in the same boat with you.  I do not have many friends here now  but I do not really mind.

Loyaukee can have a gathering.

Church or 慈濟 is a good place to meet people.
作者: nameless    時間: 2008-9-17 08:30

as long as you weren't born in 1928 you won't have trouble finding friends, it just takes time.
作者: siumaibb    時間: 2008-9-17 09:02

how about getting a bf or a gf?
作者: mucc1928    時間: 2008-9-17 23:18

Thank you for the reply.  

Philip - if i have friends, then i would have huge gathering to attend.  The point is, I need to make my first step...and I don't know where to start, especially when i am like standing at an isolated island.  

Purpleheart - I want to find friends who i can go out with.  i even tried craiglist but they are all internet chatters, and none of them show up when we decide to meet.

librahzy - I play in a rock band, but we don't meet or talk to each other outside of the bandroom.  

Myversa - i used to think like you, but i realized that during holidays, the loneliness is too hard to swallow.  I use dto have a lot of circles, but ironically i don't have any circle anymore.

Nameless - Yes, i wish time can bring me friends, but it didn't.  so that's why i m on layaukee to ask for advices.

Slumaibb - the point is,  i need to have friends first.  But thx for ur suggestion
作者: Caffie    時間: 2008-9-18 01:07

LYK gatherings were awesome, I missed them. PK should organize some in the future =P
作者: MoiRhapsody    時間: 2008-9-18 02:35

WTF
IF you are not in a Producer's band, you should talk to your bandmate.
If not, don;t play at all.
WHAT KIND OF THE FXXKING BAND IF YOU GUYS DON"T TALK??
AND DON"T SHARE SOME PART OF YOUR LIFE???
作者: news    時間: 2008-9-18 05:06

it seems like you are trying to make friends to just fill up your time
作者: azndimsumboi    時間: 2008-9-18 08:27

i think the problem is, friends don't come to you. You got to make the frist step.

here is a few of chances:
1) volunteer (success, ccc, rccs)
2) leader ( scout, girl guide, ymca)
3) hiking / walking group

all these can meet different type of people, and can improve the social activities, which not just drinking and clubbing. something that you can enjoy, including meeting new people. If you really have lots of spare time, join one of them and start to think posistive.
作者: myversa    時間: 2008-9-18 12:00

mucc1928, I am married so maybe that's the difference.  All my heart is put into my wife so I do not feel lonely at all.

I even made few friends from talking to them on the bus.  
作者: chickenwingprin    時間: 2008-9-18 12:30

I see that there are at least 3 things you can consider:
1. Expand your social circle - this other LYK already mentioned. See posts above.
2. Be more open-minded and don't be afraid to try new things - I'm not saying that you're like this but maybe keep in mind. I know ppl who don't like to do ANYTHING. Often in a large group setting where people are more like casual acquaintances, the group likes to do things like seeing a movie, sing K, eat etc. When you're invited, just go. Try to be less picky about which movie they're seeing, which restaurant they're going etc. Just go. If you keep turning down invitation, chances are ppl won't ask you again. If you're invited to do things you normally won't do (e.g. curling), just give it a try.
3. Learn to be alone. Everyone needs someone, for sure. I find that as you get older, it's more important to learn how to be alone. There're many things one can do by him/herself such as reading a book, watching DVD/TV, shopping, browsing museum/art gallery, hea-ing. Maybe pick up a hobby or learn something new.

P.S. Joining some sports club is also a good way to meet people. I join my friends to play badminton at a drop-in and need up meeting 10+ ppl in the group!
作者: BiscottiGelato    時間: 2008-9-18 12:58

Get used to be alone, but dun turn down chances to meet people. Your co-worker asks you to go wherever, try it out even if you are not comfortable in a sense that you have never tried it before. Your remaining friends ask you to go out, try not turning down any of them.

You can try LYK, try anything, anybody you know online or offline, get to know them, get to know their friends, expand your circle.

Just keep in mind, it's okay to step out of your comfort zone. Try it~
作者: chunsh    時間: 2008-9-18 13:14

play some team sports
like soccer or basketball, even u dunno how to play
作者: rockypath    時間: 2008-9-18 16:19

worst case, take some night courses and for sure you will meet somebody.
作者: goldie    時間: 2008-9-18 20:23

mucc1928,
Fact is, everybody is an island by default.
You have to reach out and bridge with someone.
You will be surprised how many people are waiting to be bridged.
You are a band player, you know how it is like to make good music, making friends is just the same.
作者: Hyde    時間: 2008-9-18 20:51

facebook
作者: 布小熊    時間: 2008-9-18 21:04

and it's not just about making friends. It's also about maintaining your friendship as well.
作者: Purpleheart    時間: 2008-9-18 23:54

對啊~ 維持一段友誼比結識 朋友更難

以我觀察~ 男仔結識朋友 ( friendship ) 係首先向對方微笑, 然後伸手同人握手~ and then 介紹自己~ 然後講下車, iphone, 電腦.....there u go! 就這樣有個 朋友了!

問題係你願唔願意踏出第一步伸出友誼之手??
作者: mucc1928    時間: 2008-9-20 00:13

Thank you so much for all of your valuable replies.  

I believe i post at the rigth place.  I used to post at Craiglist with similar topic.  One of my replies is a guy sending his nuke pic, saying "I can fill your hole of loneliness".  And people there did not take my topic seriously.

Oh well, I enjoy all the suggestions, especially the hiking group and leadship program.  the bridge topic is also awesome.  Indeed, I am a very open-minded person.  I certainlly know how to approach people, and i constantly do this step everyday.  To start a friendship is not hard for me as I have many backpacking and work stories to tell.  To maintain friendship "fresh" is more difficult.  i don't deny that my talking is as dry as H2O, but i never stop learning and imrpoving myself.

Currenlty I have known most of my friends'friends already, but i guess we just don't mix and i don't fit that circle.  Furthemroe, i had just broke up with my gf, so thats' why i am so desperate to meet more people to turn my focus away.  

So yeah, when you are seraching clubs or groups to join, do you have any good website that list all the clubs available in vancouver?  And yeah, if loyaukee has activity, I would probably join if it doesn't crash with my work time.
作者: heykevin    時間: 2008-9-20 00:52

原帖由 mucc1928 於 2008-9-20 01:13 發表
Thank you so much for all of your valuable replies.  

I believe i post at the rigth place.  I used to post at Craiglist with similar topic.  One of my replies is a guy sending his nuke pic, saying "I can fill your hole of loneliness".  And people there did not take my topic seriously.

Oh well, I enjoy all the suggestions, especially the hiking group and leadship program.  the bridge topic is also awesome.  Indeed, I am a very open-minded person.  I certainlly know how to approach people, and i constantly do this step everyday.  To start a friendship is not hard for me as I have many backpacking and work stories to tell.  To maintain friendship "fresh" is more difficult.  i don't deny that my talking is as dry as H2O, but i never stop learning and imrpoving myself.

Currenlty I have known most of my friends'friends already, but i guess we just don't mix and i don't fit that circle.  Furthemroe, i had just broke up with my gf, so thats' why i am so desperate to meet more people to turn my focus away.  

So yeah, when you are seraching clubs or groups to join, do you have any good website that list all the clubs available in vancouver?  And yeah, if loyaukee has activity, I would probably join if it doesn't crash with my work time.


hey, there is still a lyk activity.
Some of our lyk members play badminton every Friday from 10-12pm.
You can join and play with them.
作者: Caffie    時間: 2008-9-20 02:09

原帖由 heykevin 於 2008-9-20 00:52 發表


hey, there is still a lyk activity.
Some of our lyk members play badminton every Friday from 10-12pm.
You can join and play with them.

yes, you may join us. it's actually from 10pm to midnight. then we go for bubble tea after that~ (I just came home =P)
作者: tiffiant    時間: 2008-9-20 11:41

where bubble tea aar? cutie caffie
作者: Nokia    時間: 2008-9-20 22:24

Maybe just one question:

Do you find it easy or difficult to make friends with your friends' friends and then develop/maintain the friendship (both m & f)?
作者: 阿朱    時間: 2008-9-21 15:29

LYK 搞個 Friends Club?
作者: tiffiant    時間: 2008-9-21 15:57

join any clubs,  go success
LYK  meeting is perfect for you, baby
作者: rockypath    時間: 2008-9-22 22:40

i always hear a lot complains from friends that they have difficulty to expand their social circle. most of their friends are people they know in high school + some they met in college. after they start to work, they no longer make new friends or just a few (most of them are workmates).
作者: mucc1928    時間: 2008-9-23 22:03

Thank you for the replies!  But where is the badminton place?  I don't see the location in the reply.
作者: Bikki    時間: 2008-9-23 22:21

ya.. pk should organize some events
hahaha..
作者: heykevin    時間: 2008-9-24 00:32

原帖由 mucc1928 於 2008-9-23 23:03 發表
Thank you for the replies!  But where is the badminton place?  I don't see the location in the reply.

Caffie used to post a topic about LYK badminton every week, but she doesn't want to do do it anymore because she said people already know all the information.

Richmond Pro
Every Friday 10-12pm Court 9



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