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標題: How do you tell your car-pool riders to keep quiet? [打印本頁]

作者: Yui 時間: 2008-10-24 10:13 標題: How do you tell your car-pool riders to keep quiet?

Hi LYK, long time no see...

I would like to get some advice re my situation, it seems minor but it started to bother me.
I am car-pooling (I'm the drive) with a colleage everyday, she is a nice lady but very chatty, seems like she cannot bear a moment of silence in the car, I want to be polite and chat with her, but I don't really enjoy that much talk.

I really miss the days when I was driving alone, I can just listen to the Hong Kong news and my favourite songs. Since she is an English speaker and does not understand Cantonses, I'm not sure if it is rude to put on the Chinese news and Cantonese songs, but regardless, she would keep talking...

Any good ideas to shup her up in a nice way?

作者: pepsis2 時間: 2008-10-24 10:45

Just tell her honestly & ask politely that u would like to drive more quietly since u can't concentrate so will affect the safety (blah balah blah) of both os u.. then she'll shut up gala!

作者: 吳孟達 時間: 2008-10-24 10:45

I've been in this situation. All I can say, enjoy your ride with the lady, or change the job, or start a serious conflict with her.

There is no simple solution for that.

Unless you hit the car and blame on her: "Would you like to shut your fxxk up? I am jammed and it is because of you"
Haha

作者: siumaibb 時間: 2008-10-24 10:51

Agree with 達哥, there is no simple solution, what you can try is to turn on the Chinese radio and say something like 'would you mind I turn on the CHINESE radio cuz I want to get some information from a program" etc etc. or just turn it on before she got in.

GOOD LUCK

作者: siumaibb 時間: 2008-10-24 10:53

原帖由 pepsis2 於 2008-10-24 11:45 發表
Just tell her honestly & ask politely that u would like to drive more quietly since u can't concentrate so will affect the safety (blah balah blah) of both os u.. then she'll shut up gala!

thats is equal to saying "you are so annoying and please shut the f up."

作者: 布小熊 時間: 2008-10-24 10:59

Put on a language CD! Tell her that you are taking this Spainsh, French, German, Thai course and you want to learn the language while driving.

This way, you can get some quiet time without being rule.
BUT I do think it's rule to turn on Chinese radio. Leave HK news when you are home. Listen to a local news station instead.

作者: chunsh 時間: 2008-10-24 11:01

原帖由 pepsis2 於 2008-10-24 11:45 發表
Just tell her honestly & ask politely that u would like to drive more quietly since u can't concentrate so will affect the safety (blah balah blah) of both os u.. then she'll shut up gala!

dont do that!!! seriously
just keep silence and do the question-and-answer style when u talk to her. Then eventually, she will know!

sometimes honest and sincere would make situation worse

作者: 吳孟達 時間: 2008-10-24 11:34

So, my suggestion is...

Unless your co worker is your close friend, don't promise on any car pool.....with anyone else.

I don't mean that I want to be an evil, but I just want myself not controlled by someone. I like to be a "free man" while I am driving, it is my private time............

Or here is your final weapon: sell your car and hope that the Vancouver transit can help you out .......Canada Line LOL

[ 本帖最後由吳孟達於 2008-10-24 11:35 編輯 ]

作者: kisstherain 時間: 2008-10-24 11:37

That's why I don't do carpool even though it's better for the environment. My time in my car is my precious personal time. So while I admire you for doing the good thing to carpool, I will never do it.

Sometimes people are just being nice to talk to the driver to acknowledge you are not a cab driver. Like other LYKs said, there's no easy way for you to tell her to keep quiet without offending her. It's hard to deal with silence when you aren't close to each other. It seems silence is often taken as "awkward" so in social situations people try to break it. Maybe you can offer her a drink with sleeping pills in it to knock her off, ha ha.

Good luck! If you find the way to make her talk less, let us know too! I want to learn how to too.

作者: fibbi 時間: 2008-10-24 12:29

If I were you, I will just don't respond to her question/conversation, and turn on some background music before she gets on. I don't think she can keep talking and talking if no one respond to her. So if she keeps silent, turn the music louder. Then eventually try some cantonese music.

When I give a ride to my English speaking coworker, I do turn on music and said " sorry that's all I have..." but turn on in low volume. Same as my coworker, they would turn on music in their own language and no one is offended...

[ 本帖最後由 fibbi 於 2008-10-24 13:31 編輯 ]

作者: Yui 時間: 2008-10-24 12:32

Thanks for all the comments! They are really great!

I would try the "question-and-answer conversation style", just repond with simple answers, given the charater of this colleage, she might not get the hidden message, but at least I don't have to keep up with her endless topics.

Wish me good luck

作者: akshea 時間: 2008-10-24 21:11

Just tell her you are not feeling well.. or tell her you have a sore throat ....

作者: ravemother 時間: 2008-10-24 21:28

Maybe your colleague needs a boyfriend to drive her to work.

作者: 阿邊個邊個 時間: 2008-10-24 21:30

you are too nice! You shouldn't let her take the carpooling for granted! There should be some quid pro quo in effect here.
Lay down the rules. You drive the car, you lay down the rules. "Ie: i prefer to focus on the road for our safety. you can chat all you want, but i can't promise we arrive to the destination safetly if you want me to hear all you have to say, it distracts my driving."
If she can't abide by it, diss her.

[ 本帖最後由阿邊個邊個於 2008-10-24 22:32 編輯 ]

作者: peter236 時間: 2008-10-24 21:42

Comeon, you should play the Cantopop music to teach them about our strong and rich culture.

作者: 大C姐 時間: 2008-10-30 21:37

扮訓

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-- 扮窮大C姐

作者: myversa 時間: 2008-10-31 10:02

The thing is that when I was in someone else's car, how do I know if I should chat or be quite? Sometimes silence just seems so weird and awkward. In your case, chatty is not good neither.

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