Nox

Host a celebration party the night after she's gone.  Get yourself thinking about preparing the party.  That'll occupy your mind in a cheerful mood until she's gone.

Nox

I always believe in one thing, you cannot change the older generation.  The only thing you can change is how you look at the situation and how you handle it.  Right or wrong, the older generation is set in stone.  Just have to accept she will not change and things will always be this way whether you like it or not.  Adjust yourself and try to find happiness from another direction.  You and your husband must find your own ways to be happy when she's around or it's just going to harm your marriage.  Definitely not worth it.