utopia

When u cannot see him/her in the future but you still dragging that person, that's what the damage came from. Would you rather to be with someone who doesn't love you anymore but still stay with you just because of all these years? Is divorces really the best option?

I found that letting him/her go, and let him/her find someone better is the best way. Yes, he/she will hurt deeply after all these years but that's better than they grow older and not as attractive anymore. And you ask he/she find someone else. Isn't it?

I used to think, the one who said break up doesn't hurt as much. I used to blame the one who dumped me because he cannot keep the promise. But.... I finally understand what someone told me long .........time ago. The one who let go is not as easy as what you think . It is so hard to say goodbye to someone who are so close to you for man years. It's like saying goodbye to your family member forever;yet, you still have to stab into his heart because you know dragging is gonna hurt him more. You have to bear the betrayal sin forever but as long as you know what you are doing is right, you have to move on. He might not hate you forever but at least he deserve a chance to be re-born not dragging by you, isn't it?

I'm grateful to those who let me go in the past. Yes, those memories hurt me so, and some memories created a nightmare to me for years. But....... if they didn't let me go in the past and drag me for years...... I can't find my caveman

utopia

Length of years does not mean you can be with that person forever.

Sometimes when I think back, I feel weird that I have to let him go after 4 years relationship. It's like that person right beside you everyday, so close to each other like family.... it's unbelievable that you have to let him/her go...... It is hard to imagine that person is going to be disappear in your life forever. and you two are going to be stranger from now on; or worst enemy. Yet, does that mean we have to drag person forever? I doubt it.

It is so hard to say good bye to that person. No matter how you end it, it is going to hurt. No matter how you end it, you are the person to be blame at from everybody. Then, I ask myself, do I want someone to drag me when he does not love me anymore? I ask myself, do I want someone to do the routine things just because of responsibility? I guess not. Do I want to tell him I want to divorce after all my kids grow up? I guess not. So it's about time to let go.....

utopia

Really. I think we have to be grateful that person did not want to drag you at all.

Really. I think we should be grateful that person at least gave you some good memories; even thought it becomes a painful memories at the end because t hose were very sweet moment.

This is what I told myself in the past when I gone through the painful cycle. I, believe deeply every single word "he" said to me. I, believe deeply every promises he made to me. Just somewhere in the journey, he/I have changed, that's why he can't keep the promises.

BUT. As long as that moment, when he told me he loves me, he means every single word with all his heart. As long as that moment, when he hugged me as hard as he could, and I mean the whole world to him.

Even though he does not feel the same toward me. It's ok because those "real feeling" are enough for me.

Having someone feel that way toward me in my life. Having someone love me dearly in my life. I have no regret even I cannot hold on to him forever.

The best is yet to come, isn't it?

Perhaps, he is the one who god send him to me to realize what it taste like to be loved and to love; so that when the one finally arrive in my life, I know how to cherish him.

If you think I'm BSing... go ahead but........this is the theory I believe deeply and help me survive all these years.

Blaming the one who dump you after all these years would not help at all. Asking yourself how to get him back does not hep either. Ask yourself what did you learn from this relationship is the best solution.

utopia

Sazabi,

Don't worry about it. Like I said, the best is yet to come.

Or you can consider hiring Alc or I to be your relationship consultant

utopia

News,

It takes me so many years to develop this theory to comfort myself.
You can imagine how much pain I have suffered from the past relationship.

Yet, understanding these theories is one thing. It still hurts a lot when it comes to the end.

I still cannot imagine one day I will lose caveman; however, I only know thing is........ as long as the one I love has a better life after he is gone, I'm happy. I know I sound crazy but that's how I felt in the past. It hurt soooo bad.........when someone I love asked me did he sound stupid when he decided to move to the town for my best friend and she had a bf that time........ and my heart ached and told him as long as he thinks she worthed it and she is the one, go ahead........

utopia

News,

If you did spend  quit e some time with someone in the past, you can never recover from it forever. Not meaning you will still love that person in the future but part of the memories will remain deep inside your heart. Just so many years passed, a song or some scene might make you remember her... then your heart will hurt deeply like someone kicked it hard. It happens to me quite often in the past but as I growing older each year. That pain seems to go away now. May be that due to my new life and new environment?

Forcing the pain to be gone is impossible but as you swift your focus to something else. Time is the best way to heal the wound.

utopia

Sazabi,

It was a mess. Well, if I wrote a book about my  past or even my current relationship, it could be a very romantic or interesting love stories... ha.....

Glad that I have a simple relationship now and I enjoy it very  much.

utopia

I weren't with him anymore back then but just shortly after we broke up? Nah, I cannot recall exactly about my past now nor I still keep track of those memories.

Ever since I'm with my caveman, I dumped all my diaries into the garbage bin. From that moment, my past is disconnected from me

utopia

News,

Perhaps, I'm still a woman. If I just get out from a relationship, I rather keep myself occupied nor surrounded by friends. I found that is the best way to heal those wound.

I hate to break up in winter. The weather in Canada make me so blue and if someone dump me in the winter, I most likely cry in my room secretly. Unlike most girls, I cry in a silent mode