utopia

doraemon,

What you are going through is exactly what my caveman been through for the last 10 years. The only different, he is the only son and no sibling.

He worked so hard like you do and get called as a "cheap a$$" by some of my friends... but as his gf, I understand him so I support him.

I guess the reason why I stayed with him (which he asked me yesterday, why do I choose to be with him, a girl like me should go for a rich guy instead of him...),
he doesn't court me as just "gf".

since day one, I know that I am as important as his mom. There is no priority list in his heart and I know very well that I am like part of his family. I guess that's make the different and he proved to me that he does really see me as his "wife" not just a gf.

utopia

Doraemon,

As for tiredness, that's what my caveman going through lately. I totally understand how you feel, as I share my feeling here, some LYK might comment caveman is being cold hearted that think auntie is being a burden blah blah blah.

BUT, if you Doraemon, have been through this scenario, I'm pretty sure you understand how Caveman and I feel.

One day, eventually you have to start a family. One day, you have to move out with your future wife. You cannot carry this so called "burden" forever. It hurts, and a lot of people might comment us as "cold hearted" but NOBODY have to be responsible for other lives.

Not telling you to ignore your mom and sister and move on with a new life. Instead of being negative, that's what caveman and I have been doing. We try to do it slowly, let her mom become more independent. Let  his mom slowly understand one day, we will have our own family. Yet, we will still support her financially.

Having a big fight with your mom, might not solely a bad thing because you let out everything in your heart. When Caveman let out his stressed last year, his mom cried too but it's a good trigger because his mom finally understand how stressful he is.

utopia

Well, we are not wife and husband yet but that's our long term goal

However, Doraemon, not all girls are like me, I'm just one weird case. By saying that, I'm not saying I am all stand out and all. I have my personal weakness that caveman always get pissed off at me (i.e. housework :p)

Perhaps, I am from the island and completely separated from materialize society for 10 good years, so I am willing to support him. Also, I am not sure about your ex but for me, I had been through more than enough love experiences which allow me to understand the best man that I want is someone that can build a bright future with me together, not alone.

Anyhow, just relax and focus on your own future. It's good that you work hard for your own and for your family, yet, you still have to work hard for yourself. You cannot always put yourself at last priority. Somehow, I figure that if you put yourself at last priority, you are not making everybody happy.

I had an argument with caveman earlier and he kinda figured out that himself. He always put me and his mom as first priority and worked so hard. At the end, we 3 are not happy.
Why? Because he is so stressed out all the time and unintentionally moody in front of us. We ain't happy because we felt as if we are a burden for him and WE DID NOT ask for it.

At least me, I did not ask him to put me on first priority that on first day, I told him I'm not one of those honger girl that i need full attention from him. I encouraged him to tell us more about his own feeling rather than eat it all up because if he ate up too much, eventually he will exploded which does not do any good but make the situation worst.

utopia

Doraemon,

Sadly, it's always like that. People need to lose their precious in order to learn how to cherish the other half.

Doraemon, it's not the right time for you to think how to learn from mistake or how to win her back at this point. The more you want something, the more you fail.
Perhaps, you can learn from LOK.

I think LOK is a good example for you. I think he learned his lesson from losing his ex and now that he knows what a girl want. I think it took him a year before he purchase this "E class" LOL

utopia

原帖由 doraemon1002 於 2008-1-15 10:08 發表
我朋友話好仔市場好細﹐你0地有咩意見﹖

我唔甘心﹐我唔想衰俾人睇﹐從讀大學開始已經好努力。呢個時代﹐好多時看你是否成功就是看你的賺錢能力。同意嗎﹖

可能VANCOUVER食父母的有錢細路太多了﹐媽說要找一個肯跟你分擔﹐挨世界的 ...

I don't know Doramemon, may be I dated different type of people before.
Rich is not everything. I remember so clear when I first moved to Vancouver,
I was hanging out with my friend's friend. One of them are extreme rich kid from China but act like a honger. .....

Through all the time I went shopping with him (I spend my own money, ok? just in case I get attack), he kept saying things like "How come you are so CBC looking? Even my CBC friend are more honger than you?" or... "Too bad you are so tan, if you do whitening more, I will give you 85 mark ga"

And when I told him I love to read book, then he will brag that oh he read magazine too (duh)...then I insist that's different, he said oh yeah, that make us "more educated" ar ma.............. it's like "playing piano in front of cow".......

Seriously, I rather to be with my caveman right now. We can share feeling about different book we have read or share feeling about history. Yet, we can play PS3 together and work hard toward our goal.

Perhaps, I have my own career that I aim very high, so rather caveman is rich or not. That part does not weight too heavy in our relationship. As I always tell my friend in the past, you don't pick a rich guy but you pick a man that have potential to be a rich man. By saying that, he work hard for his own fortune rather relying on parents.

utopia

Doraemon,

you sounds like my caveman in the past, that will not get you any good girl, u know?

sorry to be honest here but yes, we understand you work so hard for your family and for your future. Yes, we understand you work so hard in university but if you cont'd sound blaming the world for it.

It's a turn off. The real man is take up the whole burden on his shoulder without complaining the world because he knows he is responsible for these and he choose to be responsible. Nobody forced him.

utopia

Doraemon,

If she is dating a new guy and treat you as a backup. Then just forget about it and move on.

Just be cheerful, at least try. If you ever need to have a new fun life, you can always jump in us twin's thread. Hopefully, by listening our stupid jokes, it will make your day.

We ain't just hilarious on internet, we are real fun person in real life. If you seriously need to reform your life, you can always join us twin activities.