pepsis2

aii.. i used to be agreeing with KAIMUI22... not to offend all of the unmarried girls.... just want to express my other side opinion...

Most guys I know, single or divorced & in their 20's to 40's, who are seriously looking for long term relationship but haven't "bumped" in the the Mrs. Right, are somehow tell me the same thing: "Hope to  find someone understanding, same value, blah blah blah..... & not too old"

Definitely of "NOT TOO OLD": in the mid 20's to early 30's
I know it sounds just sooooo unfair but girls u gotta realize that if the guy is serious enough to think of having a family, they think of the timeline of having a baby as well (eventually). Although nowaday the technology of late pregnancy is possible, it's always certain risk involved plus whether the couples are energetic enough to take care of the new addition of the family.

Let say u're in your early 30's & u meet someone u think there's possibility to stay forever. At least u need sometimes to get along & get known to each other (& their families, believe me, it's one of the most common factor it either makes the marriage happy or sour) : 2 years maybe. so after u get married, another 2 years of "siu couple sweet time"... so u give birth of your baby at the mid 30's.

I know all of u who comment that "oh dun do it when u do feel like doing" are really from the good hearts, & what they mean is 100% true!  But girls just need to wake up early to realize there's a timeframe (so unfortune for us!) & get yourself prepared to look for long term partner in your life: like going to meet more new friends, get a new haircut & dress up more to impress ppl around u (sound stupid but somehow work), be more open &  positive toward ppl...
even u don't find ur future partner, u feel good toward yourselves during the process ga....

of course bear in mind that "KEEP YOUR EYES WIDE WIDE OPEN" when u choose bf la! hahah

pepsis2

I admit I'm traditional ....but I don't think marriage must = have BB... Just know lots of couples who dont have kids & live happily as well...

Getting a husband like looking for promotion???? that i never thought of wor.... dun have comments on this...

my point is... if u do think u want to have BB in your marriage, u should have started it not too late... for womens who over 35 , it's just harder to get pregnant & easier to give birth of a defected child (read the health articles, scientificially proven).  Yes they are more mature & financially stable to take care of BB. But u need to get pregnant first THEN give birth of child THEN take care & educate.  

I don't mean to force girls to rush to some guys just for getting married.. U get me wrong la... just want to remind them that there'r  lesser chance to find your Mr. Right when u get older. I hate to say that men r sought after appearance & youth , but that's most men true feeling in their hearts.... of course u ask your bf, he will reassure u "NO, IT'S NOT THE TRUTH"....

it's more like when we girls looking for a partner, there r certain things we want them to be: responsible, faithful, financially stable... blah blah blah...

Family does consist 1 man & 1 woman (except same sex couples) & then maybe some offsprings coming or not... but as a unit, I don't think of like "oh woman should not depend on man " or what-so-ever. They depend on & support each other.  When u enter marriage, both sides have their responsibilities..maybe some responsibilities shift from husband to wife or vice versa from time to time.. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO BEARING CHILD.... it's just the fact that being able to pregnant fall into the woman's side.

"Love is more like giving, not just asking."  I still believe in it too.

pepsis2

Quoted" i've heard story where the girl dump the guy after a few years because he hasn't proposed yet. & what do you know? the next thing that happens is she dates another person & gets married asap within 2 yrs. "

hahha.. I thought u are talking about me le! I was in this situation too!!!

aii.. but the problems were much bigger than "not proposed yet"... anyway, when I look back to that ex-relationship, I have no regret. Even if my ex treated me 'not good' (i try my best to be nice), i do appreciate the time we spent together for 5 years & many things he taught me. I mean, if I never bump into this  >_< man, I will never know how to appreciate the Mr. Right coming after & know how to get along & grow with-in a relationship... The best thing is I become a more understanding & better person in the process of realization!

so if u fail in 1 relationship, dun worry! look at the bright side & there's always HOPE!

pepsis2

aii.. always controversial to discuss personal choice...

I agree that if girls (women) are mature enough & happy the way they are (& prepare psychologically & financially for being single in their 40's, 50's, 60's & 70's & go-on.), they should stay the way they are & leave alone all "unwanted" comments... coz no matter u have a partner or not, all of us grow older & older.

try to be frank here, most single girls (& most of them are from HK) in their 30's whom I personally know are not that type. It's just the matter that they're waiting for someone (with good qualities of husband-to-be or Mr. Perfect) to come up. True my fd pool doesn't represent the general.
Ask Ask yourself if u really prepare for being single for the rest of your life (not just your 30's). Despite the fact of having BB, the harsh truth is as u get older, the chances of bumping into MR. Right is lesser.

Just keep in mind.

pepsis2

wow! great to hear all gals coming out to have their opinions voiced! that's the best thing in LOYAUKEE!

NE way, Let me reply sin:

Quaoted "seems that it is very common that a non-marriage relationship tends to end in 5-6 years, with the girl requests to end the relationship, even though both sides are committed to a further relationship, but cant advance for now because they are both too young, seeking further education, career advancements and financial stability etc etc"

For my ex-relationship, non of the aboved is true. I left him b/c of good reason: cheating & not committing at all.
So no need to stay in the relationship la!

Back to the topic of whether u feel u being pushed to get married by others surrounding. I'm  more concerned that some single gals when they are in their 20's or 30's, they thought they like to be single for that time being.. or feel ok of their current status, then later (in their late 30's) enter another stage that want a family or a kid or a partner or what-so-ever, & realize time is not on their favorite side. That's the saddest.

When I talk to my fds who unfortunately found themselves in that stage, all of them told me (sincerely) that if they realized it earlier, then everything may change.

So if u have very determined & ur goal is to be single forever, it's totally fine! but if u think.. oh maybe I just don't wanna be alone later in my life, gum why not realize it early. AT LEAST KNOW YOURSELF BETTER!

I think the process is more like reading a book. Different stage u read the same book u have different feeling toward it or u find your opinions slightly changed...

pepsis2

i thought u r like 30's tim! u're only 26! of course dun need to rush!

Man... although I'm ur same age & married & pregnant... but it's just b/c my hun is like +10 years older & mature (financially & psychologically)  enough... or else I don't think of getting married this early... well.... but a stable & loving relationship is a KEY factor to consider whether marry or not. I don't think youngsters can't marry b/c they'r too young or what-so-ever.  So u need to make up ur mind & consider seriously whether the relationship w/ ur bf is strongly committed enough to go into marriage...

pepsis2

嫁錯仲弊過唔嫁呀!
EXACTLY!

But keep in mind that DON'T set unrealistic expectations when u look for Mr. Right or else u will never find one...