AmericanBeauty

Just a heads up, the following strategy I employ is not the best strategy ever, but so far it has do me a lot of good: don't date guy where his mother is "around" (in the many ways you can interpret this word).  I've dated two guys whose mothers had passed away (sorry for their losses 'cause their mom was not actually very old), and one guy whose mother is not in Canada.  It is hard enough to adjust your life to accommodate a guy, I am not even going to believe that it is possible for me to get alone with every single one of his family members.  All I can do is to treat them with the greatest respect and keep a reasonable distance to avoid friction.  At a subconscious level, I am drawn to guy who has a "mom-free" life style because he is less likely to ask me to live with his parents if we shall ever get married.  Even at the dating stage, he is probably not going to ask me to see his family a whole lot.  In the odd situations that I do have to deal with his family, I usually manage it pretty well.  The "lai-lai" issue has always been something that I take into consideration at the dating stage because I know having the wrong "lai-lai" could potentially ruin a marriage.  You can choose the guy, but you can't choose his family.  >_<  Eventually, future "lai-lai" is going to get old and I will probably have to help my future hubby to fulfill his responsibility as a son.  But until that time comes, I will try to keep myself sane so I can be at my best when I do have to be with "lai-lai" under the same roof.  Enough of my BS.

Speaking of getting along with "lai-lai," Echo Chan (三毛) talked about her experienve with her mother in law in one of her books (I think it is 《稻草人手记》).  It's a very interesting read and I recommend it to every Chinese housewives.