big_tooth

原帖由 Yui 於 2008-1-10 09:54 發表
big tooth, sorry I did not read every posting of yours but it seems like you are annoyed with daugthers in-law whining at public forum, correct?

May I know why does that bother you? Is it immoral or ...

Yui, don't worry about it, I don't mind your questions at all.  Afterall, it's an open discussion here.

In this thread, most of you guys choose to post the wife's POV (and I totally understand why), I just happened to have chosen to see it from the mother-in-law's POV.  When you say you think a wife is doing the best she could, I actually see the mother-in-law is doing the best that she could (given the situation).  Without going into details, I honestly felt bad for the inlaws in some cases.

I have no problem with people discussing problems in pubic forum.  When we vent, be prepare to hear different POV, supportive comments and some non-supportive comments, and really be careful what we say here.  When people bring up stuff about others that have absolutely no impact to them, then it becomes gossip, and sometimes these gossip could be harmful, even when you think no one knows you on the internet.

What you said about your in-laws I don't think is gossip as their lifestyles affect you deeply.  I can understand you want to make it better for yourself, or simply want to vent about it.  But unless they also don't like that lifestyle or it's a health issue, otherwise, it really is an improvement for your own sake, not for them.  They're not wrong or bad, just different.

big_tooth

原帖由 Yui 於 2008-1-10 22:53 發表


請不要段章取義阿,我說'如果你覺得我們以新抱身分和角度在網上論壇討論婆媳相處是不對的' - 那是回應post84.

無所謂啦,多講無益. 係師奶八婆又好,係三姑六婆又好,其實大家都係吹水o者o岩聽o米聽﹐唔o岩聽o米當時運 ...

Yui, I don't see how blueprint's post was 段章取義.  I think it was the other way around.  Let me explain.

1. I've explained it a several times that I don't think venting frustration is a problem when the issue has an impact on you.
2. In your example I clearly stated my feeling about "improvement", not about the "gossip".  And I did clearly stated your issue was not a gossip in my mind, and that I felt was alright and understandable to complain about.
3. The comment I made about 講是非 was a specific respond to another comment, and I explained it was meant to say we are sometimes doing the same things (WE, all of us, not just C9)

我聽日想食麵，因為想食Ｄ濕野，我會自己煮啦。
In this example, I didn't say 華美子 is being a bad daughter in law because of what she said.  I meant to give the reason why her mother in law felt upset.  And clearly she was upset.
My suggestion is simply don't say "我會自己煮".  Either just do it the next day and cook enough for your family or tell her, the next day, that you want to try your cooking skills.

big_tooth

"話明吐苦水，奶奶好既一面我都唔會係度講架啦，邊個人咁得閒開個thread 頌讚佢奶奶？開thread 讚自己阿媽都無啦。"
Same as don't expect your mother in law to apologize for messing up your cookwares lor.  Besides, we have time to bitch but no time to praise? What is wrong with this picture leh?

"我講十樣野，比人抽我五樣野黎插，但係好奇怪，個五樣野其實已經係我之前既thread解釋左，但插我既人都好似睇唔到咁，因此我都無謂浪費口水。"
Have you thought about that maybe your 5 things are really bad leh.  Sorry to be blunt, but the more explanation given, the more I see the mother-in-law's side lor.

"同男人講生仔產前產彼點辛苦，side 氣，等於對牛彈琴。wait till you have a kid of your own and you have to stay home dealing with the crying baby day and night and at the same time living with your mother-in-law, then you'll truely understand."
Sorry, disagree.  If husband is not a stay at home dad, then he goes to work, dealt with all the problems there, then come home and deal with the kids' having way too much fun during the day and getting all cranky at night.  There is no rest time during the day, definitely no rest time during the night until all kids are asleep.  Listen to the mom's complaint, then listen to the wife's before going to bed.  And there is the weekend where he is home dealing with the crying babies and at the same time living with your mother (or inlaws)......

Point is, WE UNDERSTAND.

[ 本帖最後由 big_tooth 於 2008-1-11 04:17 編輯 ]