Ultraman

Why not talk to her frankly? Hiding your real reason behind is surely not the best way to solve this problem. While you think telling her her cooking is awful might hurt her, but actually using different funny excuses to refuse her food might even hurt her more! Tell her you (and your husband) just don't like her way to cook the food, but actually you really appreciate her love and time for cooking for you!

You are an adult and already a mom of your gal, you should know how a mom would feel when your daughter hurt you like that, right? Try to considerate more la, the case is not that bad at all geh! Cheer up!

Ultraman

原帖由 Traum 於 2008-1-4 15:51 發表
Ultraman 同 Utopia, 你地唔係呀化？ 想兜口兜面數自己老爺／奶奶？！ 唔好玩啦。 你鍾意搞到六國大封相既話我絕對會支持你架...

好多人越老就越故執，越老又越要面。 人大到咁上下，年齡就好多時會同智慧成反比架啦。 唔係 ...

If "數" is the only way you know to communicate, I feel very sorry for you lor! Do you need any suggestion for where to take some communication courses? Haha.....

Ultraman

原帖由 華美子 於 2008-1-4 20:01 發表
今晚佢北比我地既湯，係已經變左，酸既。明知係變左，因為尋晚既事，我係佢面前都夾硬飲左落肚，只係食完飯佢行開時，我叫我老公唔好再飲，佢偷偷地倒左佢。

What?! Are you older than your mother-in-law? Due to the benefit of doubt, you can't assume she knew the soup turned bad but still force you to eat! Cuz she is old, and you mentioned she has some kind of problem too, there is a great possibility that she didn't realize the soup turned bad already. And because you are younger and should be smarter and have a clearer mind than her, you have the responsibility to tell her the fact that the soup turned bad and everyone of you shouldn't eat! You tell her the truth not because of you don't give face to her, but on the other hand it's for her (and everyone's) health! You think you are a good mom, huh? Please reconsider what is a good mom!

Ultraman

原帖由 華美子 於 2008-1-4 20:15 發表
...無既，我吐下苦水姐，唔係要比番Ｄ面色奶奶睇。

Maybe from the very beginning, you (and your husband) have no patience to find a good way to communicate with her lor. Imagine, if your mother-in-law is also a LYK member, what would she say about you? And what would she feel about what you said?

Ultraman

原帖由 華美子 於 2008-1-4 22:24 發表
Utraman, 想問下你結左婚未？聽你既口吻唔似結左婚既人。有好多野，過來人會明白多Ｄ。

過埋聽日佢就走啦，我唯有忍多一日，做戲都要做埋佢。

For your curiosity, I am married, and I have my matters to due with old people (including my own parents) too.
Maybe you are the type who would concern the "qualification" of other people giving advice, haha. (I won't mind at all.) So maybe you won't take advice from unmarried social worker, haha?!
And according to your posts, you didn't seem like a mature mother to have a baby too, haha. (j/k)

Trust me, to hide or escape is not the best and most efficient way to solve problems!
Yea, she's leaving tomorrow; but how about she comes visit you 6 moths later, next year... ?? The same old problem is still there!

Ultraman

To 華美子 & Alcoholic,

Many issues don't consist "right" or "wrong" answers. Just like if your mother-in-law cooks meat but you are a vegetarian, the questions might be: "What's wrong for I cook meat?" and "What's wrong for I didn't eat meat?" There should be no judgment for who is right or who is wrong, it's exactly about "communication" and "respect".

To tell the mother-in-law you (and maybe include your husband and her own husband too) don't like her food, might not necessary mean her cooking skill sucks. It's just up to personal taste and need.  To accept other's difference is the first step and correct way in communication. Remember, different from you doesn't mean wrong! And if the mother-in-law is too old and too stubborn to understand, it's your responsibility to explain to her in patient. Things always won't happen like what you're dreaming of. You prefer: your mother-in-law enjoys cooking "fear factor's food" to you, or she forces you to cook for her every meal?
Pleasant and successful communication needs techniques.

Ultraman

原帖由 Traum 於 2008-1-4 23:38 發表

Ultraman and Katamari, the key word is not "數", even though that's what I used. Alc has already said what I would have said, so I won't elaborate again. If you enjoy clashing with your elders, then  ...

Then I think you never talk to an elderly or you better try not to la. Cuz you have zero technique to do so!
Once again, need any suggestions for taking communication courses?

Ultraman

原帖由 Yui 於 2008-1-5 13:28 發表
Ultraman,你讀過甚麼溝通技巧課程阿? 如果有,我懷疑你被騙了.

如果你跟本沒有讀過,我覺得你很需要.

It's Lik who has problem communicating with elderly, not me. That's why I suggested him to take some courses if needed.
And now, maybe you need to take some courses for understanding what others said too. Haha...

Ultraman

華美子, I understand your situation and feel mercy for you, and actually I feel mercy for your husband, your mother-in-law and your father-in-law too, cuz it seems like nobody is really happy when the 4 of you staying altogether. Once again, I didn't judge you are right or wrong. If you just want to vent out, it's totally fine la. But if you want to seek for possible solutions, that's why many of us have different suggestions. Some of us only want to comfort you, some of us seem not understand you...  but my personal pov, just to comfort you won't get the case any better! I am a person who doesn't like any problem "unsettled". What I mean "settled" is, either the problem get solved, or the problem still exists but I found an alternative way to get myself compromised and so every time I face the same old problem I won't get myself angry or unhappy lor. While I was thinking to give you some constructive suggestions, I might upset you at the same time. Just wanna let you know, I didn't mean it, OK?! Anyways, all the best to your family relationship la!