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different couples have different ways of maintaining their relationship, the side you see could be one of their many sides.

some couple they pretend like a harmony couple in front of friends, and they beat the living hell out of each other at home

opposite personality being together sometimes is a good thing, which they have less time to face each other, which means less conflicts

in your case, maybe his wife doesn't like your gathering?  that's why she doesn't come  

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