如果你好朋友響外地結婚，理應出席or not？難題！

katamari

我同我老公有個好難決定的問題。我地有個好朋友出年會響日本同個日本女仔３月擺酒，他求左婚後就assume溫哥華有大概２０人搭飛機出席。我地其實好開心他終於娶老婆，不過個心就十五十六覺得為左他的banquet去一趟日本就有Ｄ唔知點，我希望問下大家意見。

點解我地會gum struggle？唔想去Ｄ原因係：

１．原本我地ＰＬＡＮ左今年１１月去北海道，同我阿媽去。加上我地想１１月去多過３月
２．我地唔係同女家熟，直頭係唔識，因為個女仔同我個ＦＲＤ拍拖唔係好耐就返左日本，一路ＬＯＮＧ ＤＩＳＴＡＮＣＥ左一年後決定結婚。那個banquet聽落好似女家擺酒，我地個friend唔係好清楚交代過
３．如果兩個人為左去hum一係就要去日本多轉，對我地兩口子來說機票酒店好和味。當然我朋友冇好似Ｄ外國人gum包住宿啦，包埋機票啦gum。我地都唔想他使gum多錢啦
４．我地好驚個wedding攪唔成，因為呢ＰＡＩＲ人能夠結得成婚我同我老公覺得實在太出奇。原因係咩唔好問，我怕講左出來比人知呢個朋友係邊個哈哈。有咩事機票酒店訂左咪好老土？
５．我地唔去就情願封份大Ｄ人情比個friend
６．個friend又唔係去左唔番來，反而係個日本人會跟他過溫哥華，仲會之後有個溫哥華ceremony。我有問自己唔係見證他們行禮就ＯＫ嗎？ 他們係響溫哥華簽字，gum道理上我去睇個ceremony都ＯＫ嗎？
７．係個朋友決定要就個女仔在日本擺，唔響vancouver擺，但係唔代表 vancouver gum多人都要出錢又出力gum去日本hum？！？

另一方面，想去Ｄ原因係：

１．唔去的話我地個心驚有愧於個朋友
２．真係想見到他娶老婆個開心樣
３．怕有大部份人都會縮沙唔去，又什至冇想過要去，因為係個friend一相情願覺得有２０人會去，which我覺得個可能性好低，因為連我同我老公個心都有動搖。個婚禮得Ｏ個五六十個人（連女家），如果真係唔好彩有一半唔去，我地兩個人頭係對個新郎哥好重要
４．當然怕個friend會唔開心啦，他一定會好失望
５．如果唔係個朋友坐定粒六我地會去我地冇gum guilty，但係而家好似唔去唔得

希望各位比Ｄ意見我呀，我地而家好似內心有魔鬼同天使對抗緊gum．．．

[ 本帖最後由 katamari 於 2008-5-18 20:28 編輯 ]

katamari

The November trip is basically a driving trip, mainly for eating & onsen (exactly what you have pointed out!)  with my mom, 3 of us don't like sightseeing at all so no fall leaves, no snow, no sakura is totally not a concern for us (BTW actually we have all these things in Vancouver ). I have been to Japan for a few times already, and twice to Japan in March!! so I do know November is not the best time for going to Hokkaido but it is the best time for us to go to vacation.  So we rather choose November over March. And if we decide to attend, I don't think we can afford to go twice, once for mom and once for the wedding. My mom is from Ontario, we don't see each other everyday and she hasn't been going to a vacation with me for years, so this is another reason why I am struggling too. Haha maybe I rank family reunion higher than a wedding.

[ 本帖最後由 katamari 於 2008-5-18 20:45 編輯 ]

katamari

hmm... i think i have to clarify my point it's family vs friend, not money v.s friendship. If the wedding is not firm, I don't want to give up a chance going to Japan with my mom, we can only see each other once a year.

Daimo: forgot to say, it's going to be a wedding dinner in Japan, not japanese wedding =).

Sigh, the truth is, I think it's easier to tell my mom we cannot go to Japan together, she will not mad at me, it's just ourselves think it's a very precious time as well to have a trip with my mom together.

[ 本帖最後由 katamari 於 2008-5-18 20:56 編輯 ]

katamari

原帖由 RayRay 於 2008-5-18 21:30 發表
With permission from your friend go with your mom that add more 肉 緊 to his wedding

this is a not bad idea, but my mom has planned to go to hk in November ar, her date cannot be changed.... if not I guess my mom would be happy to 襯熱鬧

我要比個獎你，雖然行唔通但係我真係冇想過呢個gum兩全其美的方法！

[ 本帖最後由 katamari 於 2008-5-18 21:43 編輯 ]

katamari

yokohama

katamari

其實可能我唔能夠講得晒我地Ｏ既struggle 因為好難交待清楚而凡事都有story behind，我都明你地所講既野，但gum簡單就唔係難題啦。同埋我好honest地承認我既想法會比你地自私，所以你地所講Ｏ既我未必會有一樣的感受，不過都好多謝你地o既意見

katamari

原帖由 Ultraman 於 2008-5-18 22:46 發表

Are you kidding?! If I were the couple, what am I going to lose to invite all the people who know me to attend my OVERSEAS WEDDING? Since they all pay for their own expense such as needed air tickets ...

haha you are just too greedy

katamari

when I was married, I never thought of inviting someone who had to travel long way from somewhere out there to my wedding because I was thinking in an opposite way.... this was too much stress and $$ for my dear friends, and this was not considerate if you don't ask if they are ok first then invite and assume your guests will come.  Yea, this is me

Ultraman: I don't think I want to ask my friend for providing accommodation or tix.....

katamari

原帖由 RayRay 於 2008-5-18 22:12 發表
Your mom can have Chinese New Year in Hong Kong then attending wedding party in March.

Double Happanies  喜喜

There must be a reason why my mom needs to go to HK in November, but I think I'm gonna ask my mom if she wants to go to the wedding tomorrow, nothing to lose geh hahaha

katamari

原帖由 布小熊 於 2008-5-18 23:04 發表

it's at a REALLY nice resort. So they had very limited number of people that they can invite to it. (less than 40 including families) They did help arrange accommodation but NOT paying for it.

I th ...

I guess it's the location that we're concerned of. If it's in HK I might go if time permits and no conflict like this time, because this is somewhere I am familiar with. The other way round, my husband didn't invite his old school HK best friend to his Vancouver wedding because his friend knew nothing about here and he would be alone in the city without him, in this way we rather not asking him to come over we did think this is another type of consideration isn't it?

Wedding is always a happy but man fan thing, don't you think so?

fibbi: I'm thinking the same way too... considering our guests would have to sacrifice a lot of things just because of my wedding, I didn't invite but just announcing the wedding. That's why I never expect my friends would invite me all the way to japan for his wedding, and I'd rather save the trip $$ and give him a bigger red pocket, and attend his wedding in Vancouver lor.

[ 本帖最後由 katamari 於 2008-5-18 23:46 編輯 ]