blueprint

原帖由 chunsh 於 2008-1-7 23:23 發表
when u said u dont like your Lai lai "最鐘意就係她唔多管我們﹐最唔鐘意就係她 TOO TALKATIVE﹐同埋太鐘意講是非﹐唔多頂得順", have u ever think about one day you will become the one what you 唔多頂得順 now? ...

I think you're right.  More to this point, just as they are 鐘意講是非, aren't we not doing the same sometimes by talking bad things about people on the internet?

blueprint

I feel that sometimes the relationship (mother-in-law and daughter-in-law) is complicated because we tend to think too much.   And then start the cycle where daughters-in-law chat how tough things are, and the mothers-in-law on the other side maybe doing just the same thing.

To me, the solution (as boring as it may sounds) is to learn how to treat mother-in-law as a mom.  It's all right to vent it out, it's all right to feel tired and sick of it (if you are aware that the people you confess to is reliable), and then to encourage and motivate each other to feel better and handle situation better.

I've been married for almost 7 years and have two kids.  Up till now, after both my mother-in-law and my mom stayed with us from time to and time, I realized more that it's all up to me to find peace within myself.  I can't just grab some differences, some disagreements, some misunderstandings and then be unhappy about for a long time.  Because we all have our own values, points of views, and ways of doing things.  IMHO, what matters is how I can learn to 睇得化, and remind myself, we are all families, and try not think too much (多心).  

Cheers ladies!  I sincerely wish that you will keep up the good job and stay cool.

blueprint

原帖由 Littleprince 於 2008-1-8 18:23 發表

你講得真係o岩﹐provided 你識得我或者我奶奶。。。但可惜呢﹐你又唔識播。。。TOO BAD。。。SO IT IS TOTALLY WRONG。。。

Hm... so your logic is: it's OK for Miss A to say bad things about you on some forum, because Miss A don't think anyone there would know you.

And... you are fine with it?

blueprint

Hey Alcoholic,  you seem to leave one group out:

4.  group that has good relationship with mother-in-law despite of the differences, had been and/or still going through tough times, troubles and/or concerns

I don't think anyone here is telling you or others to stop discussing.  It's better to reread all the posts in this thread carefully, then you may see the main point emphasized again and again is - try to turn all the complaints to a more constructive actions.  Constructive in a sense that you are aware of the conflicts whatsoever, and willing to bring them to the least.  Be proactive, not reactive.  

Not saying you are not, Alcoholic.  I see that you've been doing your bests.  Keep it up.  Remember though, when you are FIRM on your own preferences, you are responsible for the role you have created with your mother-in-law and your hubby.

blueprint

I see Alcoholic. I misunderstood that you mean bad relationship for #2.  Because I saw you saying "say no more, shut up" couple of times, so I misunderstood that you think others are telling you so.  

As I've said, I think you have been doing good job already.  I'm just encouraging you and all to stay proactive.  For be firm on preferences topic, I mean because you, me and other daughters-in-law here are responsible for our actions, we can then choose to be happy.  

blueprint

都是彼此交流不同的心聲和意見而已，不是甚麼「頂師奶」啦‧   在這個公開論壇，任何人都有發言權吧‧ 況且Katamari 出題不只是問做新抱的，還有問做老公的聽到老婆話自己阿媽或者阿媽數自己老婆又會覺得點‧ 所以有與所謂師奶論不同的聲音很正常吧‧

你之前開個 thread 入面既 case 當然建議你去忍，以免爆發家變!  

從你說奶奶的種種，不好意思，我覺得她好可憐‧因為看來看去她勞心勞力一心去幫你們，換來是這樣的氣氛‧ 雖然，我體諒你甚麼坐月，甚麼憂鬱症； 但坐完了，沒有憂鬱了，訴苦之餘，我絲毫感受不到你對她有甚麼感激‧ 好，就說感激這個感覺很被動的，那在訴苦之餘放了個「我奶奶癡了線」的標題‧很誤導人嘛!  我會覺得你沒有這個誠意去接受你的奶奶‧ 但過去了就過去了，沒有新的論點好說，所以再談無益‧ 大家都只是不同而已‧  各自修行吧!

blueprint

「如果你覺得我們以新抱身分和角度在網上論壇討論婆媳相處是不對的,又認為舉例說明等同'講是非」

我覺得 bigtooth 的立場很清楚呀，他不覺得討論婆媳相處是不對的‧Correct me if I'm wrong, bigtooth.  不好的是 ─ 話題變了純粹是發洩而沒有正面的談論等‧這個我很同意‧要不然大家說這個那個不好，好像淪為三姑六婆囉!  都也許沒問題的，但就不要怪誰的奶奶三姑六婆囉!  

[ 本帖最後由 blueprint 於 2008-1-10 21:44 編輯 ]

blueprint

原帖由 華美子 於 2008-1-10 23:32 發表
話明吐苦水，奶奶好既一面我都唔會係度講架啦，邊個人咁得閒開個thread 頌讚佢奶奶？開thread 讚自己阿媽都無啦。

人家只知道你奶奶"所謂不好"的一面，對不對？ 不好意思，就是這些態度，我不敢恭維‧

不要以為不認同你，和你不同的聲音就一定是沒有經過你說的甚麼產前產後，沒有與奶奶或外母住過等等‧ 男人未必不能了解的，特別是做人老公的，為什麼不能不了解呢?  人人不是你，也不是你老公‧ 我結了婚七年了，有兩個小孩了‧ 在我產前產後，我媽和我的奶奶都有和我們同住過，而發生了很多磨擦，但仍然是個好的家庭‧ 而這一個我，現在有份說你態度不敢恭維，那是不是有些地方要想一想呢? 不是要你反省這種語氣，我不敢當‧ 只想讓你了解為什麼我會可憐你奶奶多於你‧

blueprint

我知道你改了，但想說句，你所謂的解釋根本不是我說的問題‧   我的問題其實集中在這個論壇裡，談及你的case的種種當中，你所持有的態度‧

太客氣了，大家都只是討論一下而已‧ 如果讓你覺得是爭論，我在此道歉‧