如果你唔開心，點安慰你自己? friends, 朱古力

Alcoholic

今天完全輸哂
頭痛，頭暈，冇胃口
岩岩仲留埋鼻血
個人好累，不過激到好精神
個心un住un住

晏晝唯一做左令我以為會開心D既係狂埋朱古力&飲左杯正既hot chocolate. but it didn't make me happier one bit even though i'm a harsh chocolate lover.

the only thing that made me feel better, is my mom comforting me over the phone, & true friends that helped & call.

i feel a bit better now, but i'm still CHOKED & BITTER.

what do you guys do to make yourself feel better/happier/optimistic after a trauma???

Alcoholic

i just woke up right now.... don't feel as sh!tty as yesterday, but feel so 空虛。
i didn't cry at all yesterday. everytime tears accumulate in my eyes, i always just "awk"高頭， 等眼淚唔會掉下，等風吹乾. so i walked on the streets for 3 hrs yesterday lifting my head into the wind.
but i guess i wasn't as strong as i thought i would be because by the time i was tired enough to go to bed at like 1ish am, i just kinda silent cried a little bit in bed on my hubby's shoulders.

i'm trying to let it go like everybody tells me to. understand that it passed...& i have chance to look forward to... but it's so hard! at least i don't feel so choked & bitter now... just feel so 空虛. in a way, it's better.

sigh
Sazabi, your idea only works in imagination. it's childish thoughts, i tried to think of funny ways i can 打小人in my mind...but it just didn't make me feel better. i guess i'm not a kid no more

sigh
有人自然就會惹塵埃~ it's so difficult to have your inner self to 覺悟智慧, while your 肉體在塵世追求虛無的物to survive

Alcoholic

I have alot of support, care & comfort from my hubby.

while other people comfort me, my heart will feel better, makes me feel that i'm a strong person, which i am.

but dunno why when my hubby comfort me, it actually made me very weak... that's how i went through the whole day without tears falling out, but at night in bed with his comfort, i couldn't help but cry on his shoulders. maybe because with him by my side, i feel so safe that i can just let off my guard & be a 小女人。

what happened was a very complicated progression of slow death poison. i wouldn't mind sharing it, but i know for a fact that some LYK民運份子 will start a drama. my lesson learned: you ability, persistence, strength & tolerance has no affect on your survival chance in any type of battlefield.

Alcoholic

things that i did so far:

- not eating (well, no appetite anyways)
- binge eating
- venting out with excessive swearing
- o爹
- massive chocolate intake
- sleep (that didn't go too well)
- shopping. but no mood to buy even though the dress looks hot on
- 扮靚 (didn't go well either cus i look & feel like sh!t)
- i wanna play my UO to continue decorate my house, but my pc is too slow
- act happy
- try to keep myself occupied

Alcoholic

原帖由 Littleprince 於 2008-3-28 07:57 PM 發表

你講起這種感覺我都試過﹐我發覺係響一個強壯的臂灣內就會找到自己內裡的小女人。。。

我一向扮剛強﹐死都唔響人面前哭。。。響加拿大第一份工﹐都係成日要服務客人﹐有時難免比客人罵﹐我不夠膽回罵﹐但一定死頂唔會哭出來 ...

唔係假唔假既問題，只係我o係越陌生既人面前，我會越剛強. 因為我唔會想比人睇到底牌。
老公令我覺得有安全感，可以依靠，可以信賴。
雖然黎單係 a much bigger problem/unhappiness than 我上次燒親自己頭髮。。。但係反而我只有無聲地喊左一次，冇好似燒親頭髮個次咁大大聲喊左成粒鍾o爹老公。唔知點解

Alcoholic

matt:
all my childhood goofy pics with my siblings are at my mom's place
i have no friends in hk either
during my time trying to keep myself occupied, i try my best to have positive thinking, try to think of some 自我反省 etc... this morning i feel so 空虛. but by now, i just feel numb. like.... i don't feel anything   in a way, it is still 平復心情?

Twin,
after my long long email. now you know what happened lah. *sigh* sorry i didn't check LYK earlier, i didn't know you replied. or else i would have waited until tomorrow afternoon sin sms you lah... sorry baby~ good luck on your exam tomorrow. even though i'll be sleeping (hopefully), i'll still pray & wish you the best luck

yung44,
i did.... i did vent. maybe that's why my heart don't feel that "rock" 頂住anymore, which leaves me feeling numb. although in a way it did make me better, but i felt bad for being bummed out about it for 2 days, & ranting on & on.
but i am glad that my familiy & friends are very supportive & understanding.... at least i'm comfortable with ranting to them sin lah. that i'm very grateful to those people that have heard me spill the story ( i here thanks Twin & Sazabi )

Alcoholic

after 3 days, my 心情 feel more 平復. but i'm still bummed out. i look forward to a new week starting tomorrow.

i tried the partying method last night. unfortunately, i wasn't even in the mood to get wasted. maybe because i never had gotten hammered before. but partying with Twin & the right group of girls did make me feel the fun.

i tried shopping with my mom yesterday too. but i wasn't even in the mood. i looked so tired even though i'm not. worse is, even if i wanted to splurge, i see nothing. *sigh*

sometimes i just wanna run away & go back on vacation on a beach. but too bad, hubby no vacation time to take off from work. i think that would be one thing that would make me happier. like a trip to get away from all the bullsh!t.