Alcoholic

華美子:
i feel so sorry for you good thing your lai-lai is only temporary staying with you!!!

i heard a myth that my own lai-lai can't cook either. but for the last 4 years of dating my hubby, i've never tried her cooking. i remember there was this one time that she actually invited us over because she was cooking... but my hubby turned her down~ i was kinda disappointed (haha) because i was curious how bad can she get lol~ that's why, 80%  of the time dinner with my lai-lai is eating out... 10% of the time is eating at my hubby's grandma's place (my lai-lai's mom...but my hubby doesn't like her cooking either, other than the soy sauce chicken), & 10% of the time my lai-lai comes over to our place to eat my cooking. the only thing i've tried my lai-lai's is her soup. it's not bad... only there's 3 versions that i've ever tasted:
1. carrot/green carrot
2. watercress
3. red dates/chinese herbs
it's not bad...but very greasy. so that's why i always put it in the fridge, so i can scoop out the floating fat~ cus when i boil soup, no matter if i use meat or bones, i will scoop out ALL the fat ga lor~ i'm very fortunate that my lai-lai is very nice to me, and is not possessive. but im sure things will be different if we ever lived under the same roof.

actually...
your lai-lai kinda reminds me of my own grandma (my mom's lai-lai) hahahaha. that grandma of mine is VERY traditional, & gave my mom a hard time when we were younger (stories from my mom). she doesn't cook as bad as your lai-lai i don't think... but she will make you eat... & used to require my mom go to her home for dinner every week when we were still in hk. if you don't show up, she will deliberately say something so that "someone" will hear her rant. my grandma is a clean freak~ when we go back to hk now... we always eat out because if you use her kitchen ware, she will think you contaminated it or something...end up u will hear loud commotion at like 5am in the morning, where she wakes up & clean the entire 700sq ft flat. even when my uncle (mom's bro) go to live at our hk appartment for 3 weeks (grandma's place), she hid ALL her dishes, wok, utensils, EVERYTHING so no one can touch! hahahaha

good thing my hubby likes my cooking... or else even more trouble~

[ 本帖最後由 Alcoholic 於 2008-1-4 11:52 編輯 ]

Alcoholic

Ultraman & 華美子：

speaking to lai-lai openly is SUICIDAL!!!!!!!!!!! 傳統老人家係講威嚴，輩份，面子。只要佢出發點係為D后生既好，就係道理. 佢地就算身體差左，有病，都要"死頂"。唔係因為要面，係要比我地D后生既知到，佢地仲啪得住我地，仲有能力來教導&照顧我地。it is impossible to give them new ideas or comments (such as 華美子's lai-lai's cooking) because in their minds, they will think: "i'm so old & so successful at raising up my own child, why the hell is my method wrong?"

it's not just 婆媳 problem. the main problem behind it is generation gap.
as the seniors age, their "fire" will die down.
eventually they will die too.
how many years do you have to 孝敬 your own grandparents or the in-laws that raised your beloved other half?
in a way, if you think like this, it will make you feel better: "suck it up as appreciation to the ones that gave life to your beloved partner"
if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have love the attributes of your other half. they are the people who made what you love most.

i remember before we got married, my lai-lai accidentally did somethings that pissed me off to the MAX. i know she didn't mean it, & i dont wanna b!tch it out because it's not really her fault/intension. i know that even if you understand their intension, it's hard to accept because you're pissed. just hide, & calm down...brainwash yourself with their "intended good cause" lor....hahahhahaha aiiii~

you know, when my mom go back to hk, she try to hide from my 嬤嬤 too ga~ she has bad arthritis, yet she insists to go shop with us for hours! if you tell her to go home herself in afternoon (eat lunch, walk 1 hr), & tell her that we will go home to pick her up for dinner, she will still refuse yet, she does not enjoy shopping with us because of course, what we shop is not suitable for her...she just sits & fall asleep   worse, when we dinner with my aunt/uncle, or some other family friends, my 嬤嬤 will kinda "um"比人聽，話我地行8個鐘，行到佢隻腳好痛...of course, it was intended for us to hear it la... aiiiii   but even so, we still let her follow...because we made a very nice offer that doesnt make her feel that we're ditching her, she turned it down. & we know we only go hk every few years, so she just wanna see us as much time as possible...

[ 本帖最後由 Alcoholic 於 2008-1-4 22:28 編輯 ]

Alcoholic

chunchun:
D 老人家煮野煮到一pat pat唔一定係因為佢地口味轉左鍾意食"林"野，好多時係因為佢地想煮熟D, 安全D. 當然，就算D老人家想當年煮野好拿手，人越老，烹飪技術會失手。。。

ultraman & katamari:
我意思唔係話邊個岩邊個錯。 as i said before, this is a problem dealing with generation gap: 思想& 文化，the way our elders were bought up.

i'm married, i don't have any kids yet. we're still deciding if we want to have kids in 2-3 years. maybe some of you will think that i'm in no position to understand, make a statement, & maybe find me disrespectful to the elders.

my lai-lai is very very 恨抱孫   both me & my hubby agree that if we have a child, WE will not let my lai-lai help to take care of it because we understand her way of living. it's not the way we want our child to be bought up, or acquire her 壞習慣。of course, we will let her play, carry it around help out on light duties.  well, i don't want my baby to be fed junk food/eat out everyday, day-cared in a very dirty environment (my lai-lai's house is VERY dirty), and in a way, she is very sloppy & unsanitized. to you guys, it's disrespectful right? 家家有本難唸的經。at the same time 家家有本不同的經。even for me going to her house, i find it uncomfortable... sometimes i tell my own mom that i like my lai-lai, but i just can't stand the mess.... even when my mom heard it, she thinks it's way too dirty to tolerate. actually, although my lai-lai did raise my hubby, even my hubby can't stand some of her 壞習慣.

it's not that 華美子 or me don't apppreciate our lai-lai's... we know that she's trying to help out, doing the best of their ability to help us. 華美子's lai-lai came to take care of her while she 坐月~ however, everyone just has different lifestyle & preference.

華美子's point is not that she assumes that no one will understand. for god's sake, she is a new mom that has just recently given birth. the psychological & biological impact on a woman to do such important role in life is stressful. some can handle it, but some are not as strong and takes more time to recover & adapt. as husbands, guys will never ever understand what a woman goes through in this process. so everyone, please be a little more kind & considerate to 華美子 la~ she's just here to release her stress & frustration ok?

the problems that 華美子 raised here are all minor problems. why issit a "big deal"? because 一點一滴is what makes up your everyday life. it is those tiny things that run your world.

[ 本帖最後由 Alcoholic 於 2008-1-5 12:38 編輯 ]

Alcoholic

celeron:
i won't let my mom take care of the baby... not because i don't trust her or don't like my mom's habbits. it's because i don't want my own mom to 辛苦either. in my family, i'm the eldest, i have a bro 3 years younger, & a sister 8 years younger than me. right now, my sister isn't even done high school yet. 如果我dun件出來，又推比我媽咪幫手take care, then she will never 甩身。

being a mom & planning to be a mom is not easy. of course, even if i have a child, i want my own life, i want to continue working. but if you really want to dedicate to your family, that's not possible. if you have a child & needs other people (such as elders) to help take care of it during the first 5 years, than i think you shouldn't be considering to have one.

alot of times getting along with other people has no real solution. the only way is to compromise. 有D人，係唔識做架喇，咪算囉。自己就下人，安撫下自己囉~ 唔辦法。。。要顧住家庭關係~ 哈哈哈哈。。。女人唔易做

Alcoholic

"永遠係外人"


when things happen, i try to ignore it, or "left ear in, right ear out" to make myself feel better. sometimes i know that my lai-lai & my 姑仔 just says sh!t because they're just too bored, and even my hubby knows that they like minding other people's business (not "caring-for-you" type, but where "they have nothing to do with the matter" type). not that i want to treat them as 外人, but letting them  into my personal life/feelings, or some parts of my married life with my hubby will just cause more friction.

no matter how good you are, i don't think the lai-lai's will ever truly like you... they might, one day when they get a comparison~ so in the meantime, 有心病，都好比正面 fight with lai-lai... cus you will always be the loser

[ 本帖最後由 Alcoholic 於 2008-1-7 08:39 編輯 ]