shutterbug

1) To start off, you probably learn more by reading + trying. Learn from websites, other people's galleries, books, etc.  Learn the basics first, like aperture, shutter, DOF, lighting, composition, etc.  The most important thing is to shoot more and try everything!

2) You'll know when you need a flash or not, trust me Depending on style, some people don't shoot with flash at all.

3) There's no "good" lens in this world. It really depends on what you're shooting. A kit lens can be a good lens when you shoot at f8.  Not much difference than a pro lens at f8. A 85mm prime can be a bad lens for macros but an awesome portrait lens. Normally, pro lenses have bigger aperture like f1.x or f2.x and they're way more expensive. A f1.2 lens could be 4x the price of a f1.8.