Just broke up...I need help....

chesirecat

I understand I need to move on..I understand he no longer in my life...I understand I must now forget him...but I can't ...I try soo hard in the past 4 days to pretend that I'm starting to be okay..so family and friends will not worry about me..but deep inside I am really not ok... I really cannot forget 4years of memories in just seconds...every morning waking up and every night going to sleep is the worst time...可能心急。。好想快D忘記..so i can be done with the pain...I even workout everyday and bury myself with work...but more I am busy..more I remember and want him to be there...I am afraid to even use his name or even call the city that he live in by its name....I understand 失戀 is a necessary step for everyone...i understand every 道理 that every one tells me...but every hour every day...I can only feel im going more and more crazy...I have lost many friends during the 4 years of relatitonship...and even those who are here for me now are tired of me everyday being in sadness....

LYK's 師兄師姐們。。Please help....I really don't know what to do any more...when will I get my life back...when will my pain and memories be gone.....

yokult

Is this your first love? 4 years is not short. I feel your pain.
I hope you will recover soon. Time is your heal.
Good luck~

布小熊

take care and if you want to vent, you are most welcome here.
feeling the pain is part of growing up so take it slowly. Rushing it won't get it over sooner.

Just be careful not to jump into a rebounce relationship. It's bad for you and whoever gets involve at that point.

Lik

阿女，

你今年幾大喇？睇個勢你應該都仲係好細個。或者換個說法來講，你暫時都未係好成孰咁囉。不過，每個人都會經過呢個階段，想當年我後生果陣我亦都曾經因為甩拖而搞到自己死去活來（當然，就唔係好似江萬歲果隻死去活來啦～）

It's good to know that logically, you understand all the logical stuff -- how you need to move on, how he is no longer gonna be part of your life, etc. because it means you are already one step ahead of me way back when I was young and stupid. When you are still in this initial painful stage, what worked really well for me is to keep myself busy. Find things to do, games to play, etc. Even if you don't like sports, I'd strongly recommend you to do that because physical exercise will take your mind off the sorrow and the pain. When you are huffing and puffing from the exercise, your brain just doesn't work as well as if you were sitting idle in your room. Furthermore, physical exercise has the benefit of causing your body to produce endorphins, so it's much harder to stay sad when your body is giving you a natural high. There is science behind this break-up recovery stuff, you know?

Most people will eventually learn how to let go, but not everybody does. For now, take comfort in knowing that the pain will eventually fade. But you have to do your part and take an active role in overcoming this valuable learning stage of your life.

-Lik

Guy

chesirecat: these are the steps of life which  every one goes thru.
just keep your head up high and you will go thru it.

and you are just 21-22 right? the world is not an end for you.
you still have 15+ year to adjust  and rediscover the new meaning of life.

Lik

Just be careful not to jump into a rebounce relationship. It's bad for you and whoever gets involve at that point.
布小熊 發表於 2011-7-13 11:54

Yup, this is a very good point. Getting a rebound guy won't help at all. In fact, it'll hurt both persons involved, and you still won't be able to get over your ex.

On the other hand, I clearly remember Carrie Bradshaw in SATC getting some rebound xxx in one of the episodes when she broke up with Aidan or Big...

(IIRC, it didn't work for her either. )

-Lik

chesirecat

回復 2# yokult


    Thanks...this is my 2nd...my first love was really an asshole..that is why it was way easier for me to get over atleast I can hate him....but this time..this one was just so good to me..very 遷就我..(looking back, I wish I have change my temper earlier..i wish i did not always 發埋D細路女脾氣。。) for truth...I do not even really understand what is the real reason for this break up...maybe that is why things seems to be even hard to let go ...

chesirecat

回復 3# 布小熊


    thanks...and i know time is the only solution in healing....but god..it's toooo slow...too painful...

I won't go into rebounce relationship ...now that I am seriously afraid to love some one again...

now i just have totally bad thoughts about the future...it just seems like no matter how long the time together ...things may eventually end up same..sigh..

布小熊

回復  yokult
    Thanks...this is my 2nd...my first love was really an asshole..that is why it wa ...
chesirecat 發表於 2011-7-13 12:29 PM

Most of the time, there is no real reason why 2 ppl fall in love.
That sometimes applies to falling out of love too. So don't try too hard to find out why... You may never find out why.
Just try to slowly move on.
Read some sad books, watch some sad movies and cry it out. But it only works for some people. Others like to watch comedy and laugh it away... do whatever that works for you.
Try to pay more attention to your family and your remaining friends. Spend time with them and care for them now. It's time to build your social circle back.

Lik

遷就到你，唔係必然嘅事。既然你家陣都知道自己唔應該發埋啲細路女脾氣，咁就即係代表你從呢個 relationship 裡面學到野、有得着。我會話，你心裡面好應該記住同感激你個 ex，因為佢教曉咗你人生上寶貴嘅一課。呢樣野好多時真係有錢都買唔到。人就係有經歷先至會成孰㗎喇。

而我自己亦一樣，每一次甩拖我心裡面都感激我個 ex 又教曉咗我一啲野。

-力