Passion dies down

I've been dating my guy for over 7 nows and we are both in our mid-20s. he's one year older than me. lately his passion for me seems to be pretty dead. he claims it's because of being busy and tired.

i don't know. i really don't know. i don't believe that he has another girl or starting to see another girl.

he hardly holds my hand when we are out. he rarely hug and kiss me except during sex. he throws temper tantrums at me even though it's other people who did things and annoyed him. he almost never calls me back.

and of course we talked about the marriage issue. he does not want to get married until around 30, which means i'll be 29. i find it kind of late and he wouldn't back down the age. at some point he agreed to 28, but later on he said i forced him to agree, which totally breaks my heart.

years ago he spoiled me rotton. as the years go by of course it gets less and less, and i became a much better and mature girl friend. not only he does not appreciate that but when i asked if i am a good girl friend and ask for appreciation he gets mad.

we had several break ups over the years, one or two very serious ones. then other guys would go after me during those periods and he would want me back.

when things are fine he does treat me very well. but even the slightest disagreement he would start yelling at me and i would always have to apologize regardless. when i refuse he would refuse to talk to me. doesn't seem to bother him at all. right now i have absolutely no say in our relationship and it's killing me. of course i want to leave. but when things are okay he can be very sweet and we get along very well.

and of course he claims that he still loves me.

someone tell me what to do and what to think. it hurts too much to know what to do now.

goldie

time to chill la
he does not love you crazy anymore

just now, he yelled at me because i wouldn't give him an item in a game that we play. when i did in the end he called me selfish. i already told him in the future whenever i come across this item i will give it to him and it still doesnt satisfy him. just over a f**king game. he yells at me to tell me to shut up and then he rambles on and on, and tell me to shut up again when i talk...... but when i don't answer him it's my fault again......

damned if i do damned if i dont...

every opportunity he gets he throws a temper tantrum at me. i really don't know if this is called love anymore. it breaks me up all shattered inside.

tofu

"""he does not love you crazy anymore"""
-agree, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore.

do you force/request him to promise a lot of things?  what is his reason to get marry in age 30 ar?  age 30 sounds reasonable wor?  do you need a lot of attention?

""when i asked if i am a good girl friend and ask for appreciation he gets mad""
how often do you do that, once a while is sweet, but too often become ignoring.  what kind of appreciation do you request ar?

goldie

A 30-yr old man who throws temper tantrums at his GF?
He must either be very immature,
or he is facing a very difficult time in his work or something.

my period is irregular and it's hard for me to conceive, so i want to get married earlier. especially he is like長子嫡孫 in the family and the family is conservative so i've been worried for not being able to have kids, and getting married later doesn't help. he wants kids too.

i don't ask very often. the first time i brought up that topic he got mad.

everything makes him get mad. even an item in the game. and when i get mad over something he does i'm being controlling. when i asked if i can have some say in arguments he gets even more mad and he will just demand me to shut up again. can't even talk.

goldie

Sounds like he has an abusive personality
He needs help

no he's in his mid-20s, so am i.

he used to be not like that. at first i thought it was stress from school and work. now i think he got used to it. to him i keep coming back anyway...

chocolatebean

I think he just takes you for granted, since no matter how bad he treats you, you still go back to him....just like some of my guy fds said,does not matter how hot the girl is, when time passed, they get bored...

shock28

your bf is just like the old me no kidding, almost the same included the game part as i did get mad at my xgf because she wasted my game money to buy useless stuff in World of Warcraft.  Anyway, my suggestion to you is to dump him for real for AT LEAST 2 to 3 MONTHs and NO CONTACT AT ALL, let him cooldown within those time, let him talk to ppl, if you guys still get together after that period, then he will treat you differently for sure.  Break up for few days or 2 weeks doesnt help the problem. Because I also broke up with my xgf for like a week before that then I chased her back without any changes made.   Specially if you give him chance to talk to you after break up, then it will not help in anyway, you will need to ignore him totally within that period.  Don't tell him why you dump him and let him think over and he will know why in time.