How to change bad impression in people's mind

mucc1928

Hello, I need help.

I still loved my ex-gf a lot, but due to her parents, I decide to break up because her parents are pressuring her to leave me almost everyday at home.  

I used to have terrible health because I used to smoke, drink and do recreational drugs quite frequently. During the relationship, I finally clean myself because I value this relationship a lot.  To quit all of them at once is hard on my body because I had them for a few years already.  Hence, I had a serious downturn in emotion, and that's also when my company started to do layoff due to the downturn of investment industry.  I started to lose faith on my own and have a feeling that I am not good enough for this girl.

After the break up, I started to study some financial courses and now I have a more secured job.  I want to proof I am a more reliable person and I am dead serious.  As well my health seems to have a positive turn after I start to take chinese medicine.  I never stopped telling her what I am doing, and she is happy to know my changes during the last four months.  

I finally asked for an reunion.  i was rejected because she is currently dating a new bf.  Also, for her, the main problem is not me being unable to find a high pay job or used to use drugs.  The biggest problem is in her parent's minds, I was a coward because i did not accept their invitation to join thier home dinner at the beginning of our relationship.  At that time, I thought that's not necessary.  I believed as long as we are happy, i don't care what's other think and seek othre's approval becuase this is my life.  And that's wrong...after I get older and quitted the rock and roll life.

I admit that I did not communicate with my ex-gf well because I had misinterpreted the source of problems. I also admit that I am not the best man with the best background or conditions.  However, i would want to try everything before I reach the end of the tunnel.  She does not have strong personality, and she would not move out of her house and would like to seek hamorny with the family.

So has anyone gone though my trouble before?  Please give constructive advices.   Thanks.

pepsis2

feel sorry for your case but the harsh reality is: if you ruined the relationship (esp w/ the parents / family members of the girl), it's REALLY REALLY hard to turn back. But u can still try your best to show your sincere.

good luck man!

Oh by the way I think she is just giving u excuse on "my parents don't like u"... I think it's her nicer way try not to hurt u that much since she already in a relationship. Well, good luck!

puZZle

i agree
she's already in love with another man...
we know that you love her alot
but we still have to consider what she really wants right?

anyway,
best wishes

[ 本帖最後由 puZZle 於 2008-10-4 14:13 編輯 ]

Caffie

那已經是過去了。有沒有想過找新女友？做人要向前看、向前走。祝你好運。

agree with pepsis2 & puZZle...
coz i'm in this kinda full of pressure relationship & it's driving me crazy!!!!!
my sis doesn't like him & so does my mom.
& i outta admit that my bf does not look friendly on his face as well.
in a way, he's like u!!!
thinking about it's a relationship between the 2 of us...
I really don't know what to do
i know my mom tried & my sis tried & he tried...
sigh... i don't know
it's like it's going to explode sometime later.
& whenever my mom's not happy, ((u kn when woman 發泄, they'll bring up everything that u tot it's solved but not solve to them... like problems that u dealt with her before but she wasn't that happy with the result)) she often dissing at my bf...
saying how immature & 唔識做 & 唔世故& 唔錫我 & 囂張& 自私 & 唔識照顧人BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!!!! in conclusion, what she is trying to say is >>'don't rely on this guy... coz he can't even take care of himself... so, don't u think about having a future with him' (( & she even told me that she doesn't want me to marry him ~~!))
& if i fed up & stood up... she'll have that hurt look in her eyes, as if she's thinking about her famous lines *生女丫，arm ge 女大不中留。/ 有毛有翼喇。/ 你睇你同左呢件野一齊之後... BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!*
oftentimes, i had to solve it in a possitive & supportive way... like saying... "Orrrrr...甘kui 仲細je..."
if my mom's not in a terrible mood, she'll be like "sigh.. i'm just worried abt u."
otherwise, it'll be those famous line when she's furious!!!
man...

therefore, as a girl who is experiencing ur gf's situation...
i was thinking maybe the relationship between u & her brought her too much pressure...
& now that she is in a more (( i guess)) happy & stable & less stress relationship...
ya...
but the difference is that, my mom's not here... but she came back for a visit & EVERY SINGLE DAY i felt the pressure!!!
it's super super overwhelemming!!!!

try to talk it out~ communication is really important...
coz i knew some of my frds ended up solving the problem... but i hvn't update with her... plus she has a strong personality...
ya...
all the best!!

[ 本帖最後由 匿名 於 2008-10-5 08:49 編輯 ]

mucc1928

謝謝大家的意見。謝謝匿名的經驗﹐仿彿是在說我的故事。 好在你的媽媽不是常常在這裡﹐不管妳有多strong, 也有疲倦的時候。祝妳好運.
我真的不知道再可以再做甚麼﹐很無奈﹐也疲倦極了。
不錯﹐我是問題的根源﹐但看來﹐有些問題﹐真的不是努力就可以解決。