I just want to say it's not my opinion so don't take it the wrong way.
I have a kai-mui that has been through a divorce. She's keeping strong and all that but I'd like to see her happy again with a better guy than her first husband.
Now would you "touch" a divorced woman if you have not been married yourself? Honestly.
I feel sorry for her. But wait..... if the current marriage makes her unhappy and so she decided or agreed to divorce, that means she may have a bigger chance to be happy after the divorce, so I should congratulate her instead if that is the case.
Honestly, if I am a single male, I won't consider much for my potential gf / future wife is divorced or not; I rather concern if she has any children from the past and is/are carrying forward (to me)! Doesn't mean I don't like kids or kids from other men though.
unless you're still living in the old days (like our parents/grandparents generation) where you think that no sex before marriage, & don't like "used" items.... otherwise, it's not a big deal cus most people are "re-used" repeatedly before they get married nowadays anyways.
leftover children from the divorce would be a bigger concern & obstacle towards finding a new relationship after a divorce
Marriage is a commitment, and also a test of tolerance. If a woman (or men for the gals) had went through divorce, doesn't that introduce risk that this person might not be all that committed, tolerable, etc?
You pick and choose and sleep around before marriage, I can accept that. After that, it's endurance, faith and commitment. Anyone that say he/she dun care sh_t if he/she is dating someone that have been married before is probably lying for the sake of sounding nice to the gals on the board or something.
原帖由 BiscottiGelato 於 2007-12-13 11:59 發表
Marriage is a commitment, and also a test of tolerance. If a woman (or men for the gals) had went through divorce, doesn't that introduce risk that this person might not be all that committed, tolerab ...
I agree marriage is a commitment. But to say "a test of tolerance", hmm.... then implies the test could have good or bad result. For good result of course the marriage can be maintained, so how about bad result? That's why there would be a divorce. Or you think the couple should still stay together even for bad result? Then why the "test" is needed?
Besides, the divorced person you meet with might not necessary to be the one at fault in the previous marriage (although I believe both parties have responsibility). It's not fair to comment whether she/he was not committed or tolerate enough in the previous marriage, cuz she/he might be the innocent one. Moreover, even she/he didn't commit and/or tolerate enough in the previous marriage (or with the previous partner), doesn't mean she/he can't commit and/or tolerate the relationship with you. There must be a reason behind each relationship and divorce, but every couple doesn't work the same.
If I am a man I would never consider marry or date a divorced woman, the reason is, study shows that divorced woman has a higher chance of divorce again, as BisottiGelato has stated, "marriage is a commitment, and also a test of tolerance..."
Of course, I will look at each case separately, some women marriage or divorce with a special reason (e.g. divorce due to husband cheated), that's another case.
發表於 2007-12-13 00:45
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