satsuki

doraemon,
don't be like that la~ you are not the only one suffering, many many people dou hai gum la (like having debt, mortgage etc)
don't think back to those rich days, as much as you (and I) like dora-chan, there is no time travel machine and time cannot go back
you gotta look forward!!
just relax man, it's just that too much things happening at once, or more like everything bottled up for too long and just had to explode ji ma~
有咁嘅反應都好正常啫~
得閒咪上嚟LYK吹吓水囉~冇嘢架喎

Ultraman

原帖由 doraemon1002 於 2008-1-14 09:31 發表
just had a big fight with my mum.

We were arguing about a lot of stuff.

There were a lot of stuff that were hiding in my mind for so long, i let my mum know yesterday.

I told her i am very tired, m ...

You are not the only one, doraemon1002! I know some friends who had very similar situation as yours, but they all stood up and recovered already and they all have new lives. Yea sometimes life is tough, but it's about your mind power, there is nothing you can't get thru! Add oil!

utopia

doraemon,

What you are going through is exactly what my caveman been through for the last 10 years. The only different, he is the only son and no sibling.

He worked so hard like you do and get called as a "cheap a$$" by some of my friends... but as his gf, I understand him so I support him.

I guess the reason why I stayed with him (which he asked me yesterday, why do I choose to be with him, a girl like me should go for a rich guy instead of him...),
he doesn't court me as just "gf".

since day one, I know that I am as important as his mom. There is no priority list in his heart and I know very well that I am like part of his family. I guess that's make the different and he proved to me that he does really see me as his "wife" not just a gf.

utopia

Doraemon,

As for tiredness, that's what my caveman going through lately. I totally understand how you feel, as I share my feeling here, some LYK might comment caveman is being cold hearted that think auntie is being a burden blah blah blah.

BUT, if you Doraemon, have been through this scenario, I'm pretty sure you understand how Caveman and I feel.

One day, eventually you have to start a family. One day, you have to move out with your future wife. You cannot carry this so called "burden" forever. It hurts, and a lot of people might comment us as "cold hearted" but NOBODY have to be responsible for other lives.

Not telling you to ignore your mom and sister and move on with a new life. Instead of being negative, that's what caveman and I have been doing. We try to do it slowly, let her mom become more independent. Let  his mom slowly understand one day, we will have our own family. Yet, we will still support her financially.

Having a big fight with your mom, might not solely a bad thing because you let out everything in your heart. When Caveman let out his stressed last year, his mom cried too but it's a good trigger because his mom finally understand how stressful he is.

doraemon1002

Utopia,

I wish i chould have posted my story here half year or even earlier.

maybe you and your husband are under the similar situation as i am, you really could point out all the things i went through with my ex.

I treated my ex as my wife too. She is as important as my mum and sister, but sometimes she just doesn't understand me.

Since the first we were together, i told her i could not promise i could give her a wealthy life, with unlimited spending, but i could promise her at least i would give her a stable life.

I told her in order to keep my promise, i need to work more and i told her i would have less time being with her. I have been trying my best, but seem like it is not the life style she wants.

Hopefully one day, i could meet the right one, that she would understand what i have done for my family, my future, and i really could take good take of her.

utopia

Well, we are not wife and husband yet but that's our long term goal

However, Doraemon, not all girls are like me, I'm just one weird case. By saying that, I'm not saying I am all stand out and all. I have my personal weakness that caveman always get pissed off at me (i.e. housework :p)

Perhaps, I am from the island and completely separated from materialize society for 10 good years, so I am willing to support him. Also, I am not sure about your ex but for me, I had been through more than enough love experiences which allow me to understand the best man that I want is someone that can build a bright future with me together, not alone.

Anyhow, just relax and focus on your own future. It's good that you work hard for your own and for your family, yet, you still have to work hard for yourself. You cannot always put yourself at last priority. Somehow, I figure that if you put yourself at last priority, you are not making everybody happy.

I had an argument with caveman earlier and he kinda figured out that himself. He always put me and his mom as first priority and worked so hard. At the end, we 3 are not happy.
Why? Because he is so stressed out all the time and unintentionally moody in front of us. We ain't happy because we felt as if we are a burden for him and WE DID NOT ask for it.

At least me, I did not ask him to put me on first priority that on first day, I told him I'm not one of those honger girl that i need full attention from him. I encouraged him to tell us more about his own feeling rather than eat it all up because if he ate up too much, eventually he will exploded which does not do any good but make the situation worst.

doraemon1002

I lost 10 lbs for just a week. Breaking up is really a good way to lose weight!

Do we really need to learn from pain, in order to know how to treasure a relationship?

Sometimes i am just so confused, how do i show a girl she is very important to me?

I always think i need to guess the "answers" in her mind.

If i guess it wrong, that means i would say something wrong. I may affect the whole situation.

utopia

Doraemon,

Sadly, it's always like that. People need to lose their precious in order to learn how to cherish the other half.

Doraemon, it's not the right time for you to think how to learn from mistake or how to win her back at this point. The more you want something, the more you fail.
Perhaps, you can learn from LOK.

I think LOK is a good example for you. I think he learned his lesson from losing his ex and now that he knows what a girl want. I think it took him a year before he purchase this "E class" LOL

doraemon1002

其實已經很努力了﹐放棄了許多。
很多東西也放不下。很多情況下﹐也是多做了很多別人沒有要求的東西。對她們好才主動去做﹐但最後只給人說“我沒有要求你做的﹗”

但有時沒有做﹐她們就會說要不要說出口你才懂去做呢。

我也覺得我真的是為別人而活着﹐不是為自己。

為別人而開心﹐不懂如何為自己而快樂。

快樂是一件很容易的事﹐但也是很困難。

Littleprince

你是一個很好的男孩子﹐做男子漢該做的事。。。

如果女友不諒解的話﹐也很遺憾﹐我相信一定有女孩欣賞你這種顧家的好男孩。。。

母親一定要照顧﹐反而妹妹呢﹐到她適當年齡便當分擔﹐正如她們也知道﹐你一個人負責是很吃力的﹐而且你也有自己的人生﹐自己的未來。。。

千萬別放棄﹐未來一定會更好~~~