布小熊

我認識一個男人30幾歲，晚晚帶老婆番阿媽到食飯，食完拍拍patpat就走，臨走仲要攞兩個生果走（個老婆會好似系supermarket甘揀個最好最靚既先攞). 兩公婆都有收入，不過就豆零家用都無出。

個阿媽本來有分工有收入都 ...
Yui 發表於 2009-7-13 01:45 PM

that's so WRONG!!
I am not much better cos I don't regularly give $ to my parents but I do treat my mom to trips buy gifts for her that I can't even afford for myself. Buy dry scallops and mushroom... take them out for dinner and give them lai see. And I seldom eat at their place.
I usually try to do sudden visits so my mom dont' have time to put too much special effort to cook dinner for me. I will eat whatever they have left over. Just don't want her to be too "sun foo".
Before I need to do mortagage payment, I used to give them a lot. To the point that I have no personal spending money.... (half of my before tax monthly pay)
They are doing ok now, so I want to try to settle down and when they need me to help I will for sure help them. Actually after my car payment is done next year, I will give that to them as a start.

chunsh

佢哋自己能夠照顧自己，我哋已經偷笑

能夠把責任推給下一代麼??
有怎麼樣的父母﹐就有怎麼樣的孩子
現下的父母﹐好像怕孩子受到任何傷害﹐苦痛似的。
動不動就把最好的物質享受給與孩子。幾歲小朋友隨隨便便就有幾百元的玩具﹐十
幾歲就有幾千元的手袋﹐ 手機﹐潮Tee, 什麼限量版sport shoes....令到他們覺得
那些東西 / 錢是從天上掉下來般。
電視﹐電影﹐廣告﹐播一些稍為少一點衣服的女人的場面又話意識良﹐教壞小朋友。

食物又常怕這樣不bacteria﹐那樣多添加劑.......

那麼多的保護﹐那麼多的供應﹐叫孩子怎樣自立呀

Yui

又有見道有啲老人家有好多仔女， 佢哋不停咁供養自己啲仔女包括結婚後嘅居所， 連自己嘅物業都賣埋， 諗住咁多仔女， 點都會有個會同自己住同照顧吓自己， 點知到頭來佢哋都重要搵租屋住， 只係因為啲仔女同佢哋嘅另一半覺得佢哋好難相處同麻煩， 唔想同佢哋一齊住。
hium 發表於 2009-7-13 15:18

所以宜家做父母都要為自己打算下，留番個錢傍身，唔好凈指意啲仔女，甘樣將來老左都可以保留番啲專嚴。

BiscottiGelato

Biologically speaking, humans (all animals in fact) give birth to the next generation to continue their blood lines. The salvation of the next generation is already a 'return' on the 'investment'. I am not a parent yet, but I'd think that I'd want to be able to provide the best for my next generation (not just monetary-wise), and I really won't expect anything from them either. As previous posters already said, childrens with good virtue and a correct sense of value should support their parents anyways. But it'd be selfish for parents to 'expect a monetary return' from their children as if they are investing in a retirement fund. After all, the parents had the choice to have kids or not, but the kids never had the chance to decide if they really want to become the parent's child. Without any choices, the child is born to not be able to support him/herself for the first 20ish years. It's a debt imposed on the child by the parents, which really shouldn't be considered a debt at all.

On the flip side, as a child, I would hope my parents will have good retirement financial planning such that they would not need me to support them (as I probably want to use as much as my limited wealth to support my kids when the time comes). However if their retirement strategy falters, then of course I'd also do the best I can to support them financially.

Furthermore, I don't know if I would agree that the current generation is weak in suppporting themselves. Afterall, baby boomers are the ones that have borrowed against the future like never before. The current, and coming generations not only will have to support themselves, but to repay the debt their ancestors have borrowed and repay to nature what their ancestors have destroyed/consumed... Not to mention that developed nations are having serious issues in the aging of their population. As such, i'd say it'll be much more difficult for the coming generations to sustain themselves and maintain a lifestyle that baby boomers have once enjoyed.

tofu

someone posted a  daughter-in-law & mother-in-law's agreement a while ago, i think it is really good.
比雷曼更低回報的投資 - why you are looking for 回報.  have you get agreement with your children before they born.  i mean it is not something that you should ask for 回報
nowadays,  people finish their md or ba in early 20s, start with a ok pay job and start paying back for their student loans and probably start their car loans.  (let say their first job earn $40k, after taxes, ~27K left, paid all the loans, rent &... how much left)  in late 20s they are thinking/pushing to buy a place to live and/or getting married (mostly, parents will need to support to downpmnt).  early/mid 30s, times to get a bigger car or maybe have their own children.   and start the cycle again.  老豆養仔,仔養仔嘛.

成三張幾都做咗幾年野結婚娶老婆重係屋企比錢， I have a friend, she doesn't want to get marry, they already live together.  her parents forced her to get marry and request her to do this and that, finally she needs to spend all her saving on the wedding that she doesn't want.  her mum invited some aunt/uncle, which my friend doesn't even know who they are.  her mum wants to do it, because those uncle/aunt invited her to their children wedding ma.  if the wedding is mostly requested by the parents because 佢地要面, the parents responsible for some of the cost, i think it is ok.

hium

Biologically speaking, humans (all animals in fact) give birth to the next generation to continue their blood lines. The salvation of the next generation is already a 'return' on the 'investment'. I a ...
BiscottiGelato 發表於 2009-7-13 19:29

我一路都以為係得我自己咁樣諗係好自私 ( at least 我爸媽都成日話我諗得太自私）， 原來都有人同我同一樣嘅諗法， 多謝你！都解開咗我嘅一個心結。。。
我嘅諗法同你好相似， 我係出於一個好普通嘅家庭， 爸媽宜嫁都已經半退休狀態， 完全冇財政壓力。 但係我係一個好普通嘅女人， 嫁咗俾一個都係普通嘅男人， 做咗好幾年野喺宜家先開始有小小錢喺袋， 對於我哋哩啲普通人嚟講， 養活自己同儲夠錢俾得起首期真係好難！ 如果我唔係咁幸福幸運爸媽都唔使我照顧， 我諗我哩世都唔使指意可以真正擁有自己嘅家！

ricrick

我都讚成遺傳論及老豆養仔論

父母的恩，其實係報係自己仔女身上，你仔女對你的恩，也是報在他們的仔女身上
是一代一代傳下去，是不能有回報的

我想，父母可以見到自己仔女獨立成家，以經是最好的回報

Littleprince

樓上說得對﹐很多父母心中﹐覺得仔女不用再靠自己﹐已經好安慰。。。

只係我有D香港朋友﹐30 幾歲人未結婚﹐還在比家中的經濟壓得連結婚的念頭都不敢有 (每份糧比超過一半屋企﹐怎樣儲錢娶老婆呢﹖)﹐我覺得他們也是很慘的

shutterbug

First of all, having kids in NOT an investment.  If it is then it could be the worse investment for most people, no doubt about it.  To me raising kids is an instinct.  You want to see your next generation grows and suceeds.  There's a big problem with kids in HK and it doesn't mean it's the same everywhere, at least not in here yet.  Kids have better family values here than in HK.  Honestly, I can't stand the new generation in HK, no matter the parents or the kids.  I even think that they deserve to have this kind of kids because it's mostly their fault.

daimo

it might sound 9 ng dap 8, but IMO ...

if one wants to maintain his dignity and happiness, one should have no expectations from anyone.  (that means everything granted is a bonus!)  It applies to both parents and children.