AmericanBeauty

I'm a girl and I don't want to get married even though I'm getting to the "approrpiate age" for getting married.  In my opinion, marriage is not made for everyone and I don't believe everyone needs to get married in order to be happy.  I also believe that the fundmental function of a marriage is procreation. (Note: I do realize that there are a lot of happily married couples without any children and I hope to be like that in the future since I don't really want kids.)  If you did not want kids, your biggest gain from a marriage would be financial power. (ie. two incomes instead of one)  If you were in a position where you can make a decent living on your own, then the purpose of getting married would boil down to one question, "Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this person?"  This may sound really silly, but being in such a position I found that it is the only way I can truely decide if the person I am considering to get married is "the one."  I have seen too many people who consider too many "factors" into the whole marriage thing: Is the person well off?  Can he provide me with a nice home?  Will she love me if I don't have this job anymore? etc, etc.  But really, what you want is to marry the person you love.  And in a world so complicated, it is not so easy to tell whether you love someone or not.  I think a lot too when I think about getting married, but the one question I must be able to answer is, "Do I really love this person so much to a point that I want to spend every day of my life with him?"

Kamezie

research shows couples have higher likelihood of getting a divorce when they had been common law partners before their marriage

chocoWinCY

AmericanBeauty,

I'm the same as you,  "a girl and don't want to get married even though I'm getting to the "approrpiate age" for getting married".  I totally agree with you that people do not need to get married in order to be happy.  I do have a bf and we've been together for a few years, and I'm very happy with him (although he does piss me off every once in a while).  We are not planning to get married yet, at least for the short time being, as we do not want any children and we want to buy a place and live together first.  I used to dream to get married at an earlier age when I was still "young".  But it seems to me that the older I grow, the more "tai taam" ("see diluted") I have become about marriage.  My cousin got  divorced within 3 years after her marriage; and I heard a few aunties/uncles (not blood-related), including my bf's parents, got divorced after married for over 20 years. My friend told me that I should get the "paper signed" to protect myself from the marriage.  However, I told him that a) I do not want to "force" my husband to be with me if he has "changed heart" because "we are legally married"...it would just make the relationship worse and worse..and b) i don't need any compensation from my husband from the divorce because I make enough money myself...and i expect a pre-nup if we're really going to get married anywayz .

It seems to me that it's not always the case that it's the MAN who doesn't wanna get married, I know a few woman have similiar thoughts like me too

Catpiano

Damn ..  just chatted to few friends in HK ..   they are over 30 as well ..  and single ..   but ..  not willing to marry la...    and even said 25 yr old lady .. is old ??