It takes me so many years to develop this theory to comfort myself.
You can imagine how much pain I have suffered from the past relationship.
Yet, understanding these theories is one thing. It ...
what??? huh???
someone you love (assuming you 2 were together at that time?) asked you if he should move on to your best friend who had a bf at that time?
huh????
man... that sounds like a mess...
It takes me so many years to develop this theory to comfort myself.
You can imagine how much pain I have suffered from the past relationship.
Yet, understanding these theories is one thing. It ...
i just let her go yesterday..the pain is just totally devastating..but it's going to be good for both sides..i dun think i can recover from it completely
If you did spend quit e some time with someone in the past, you can never recover from it forever. Not meaning you will still love that person in the future but part of the memories will remain deep inside your heart. Just so many years passed, a song or some scene might make you remember her... then your heart will hurt deeply like someone kicked it hard. It happens to me quite often in the past but as I growing older each year. That pain seems to go away now. May be that due to my new life and new environment?
Forcing the pain to be gone is impossible but as you swift your focus to something else. Time is the best way to heal the wound.
It was a mess. Well, if I wrote a book about my past or even my current relationship, it could be a very romantic or interesting love stories... ha.....
Glad that I have a simple relationship now and I enjoy it very much.
I weren't with him anymore back then but just shortly after we broke up? Nah, I cannot recall exactly about my past now nor I still keep track of those memories.
Ever since I'm with my caveman, I dumped all my diaries into the garbage bin. From that moment, my past is disconnected from me
Perhaps, I'm still a woman. If I just get out from a relationship, I rather keep myself occupied nor surrounded by friends. I found that is the best way to heal those wound.
I hate to break up in winter. The weather in Canada make me so blue and if someone dump me in the winter, I most likely cry in my room secretly. Unlike most girls, I cry in a silent mode
Thx for the replies and people sharing their experiences... my .. I don't know what to call her now.. fiance or just a "friend" has been in HK for 6 months. She's the one saying we should cool down or something but never really explained herself apart from the fact she wants to take her whole family back to HK just so they can have a "good life" in retirement. Going back to HK for me is not an option right now because of my parents here that are getting sicker as the years roll by without any relatives or family to look after them. Also the fact that I cannot contribute to the HK labour force because of my poor illiterate Chinese and the fact that I will be giving up my career.. my purpose to waking up in the mornings.
At the moment, I'm fairly hurt, confused, and asking myself what I did wrong. I've been fairly reliable, practical in every sense of the word, and do the right things most of the time. Yet I sit here wondering ... endlessly. But as utopia said above, I am surrounding myself with friends and going out and socialising so that this depressive mood does not beat me without resorting to alcohol / drugs etc. I really am so tempted to go on the bottle and waste myself but I know it won't solve the problem nor help the healing process in the long run.
I saw the ring I gave her this morning (she said originally that she didn't want to take it coz she didn't want to lose it) and all my emotions came flooding back. My hopes and dreams were in that ring. Never to fail... never to end.... however... ai... dunno... I'm trying to keep my head up high, eyes straight ahead and move forward despite the difficulties.
I've done a few photo shoots at weddings this year and often when I have a quiet moment from taking photos, I look at the couples, their reactions and wonder how one gets to that stage. What makes 2 people decide that this is how they want to spend the rest of their living days on this planet together. What makes 2 people satisfied and content with their lives. What makes 2 people just... agree to be co-exist together happily.
*sigh*.... I want to cry.. I really want to but I don't want to be the sad bastard that sits in a room and spend the rest of my waking hours feeling sorry for myself and expect others to give me sympathy.
I knew on the first day I met her, I would be risking it all. My heart, my feelings,.. everything... I knew I was very vulnerable, very opened, maybe too opened to getting hurt.... I know next time I will not be opened at all.
Sorry that I have to be honest. What your girlfriend doing to you is what I did to my ex. I would say exact situation.
She did not want to take the ring similar to me -- did not want to go to his cousin wedding. Same situation.
It just to me, moving to Vancouver is always my wish and I know I never belong to that town. So.....yeah, I used the same excuse that my parent will have a better "retire life" in vancouver to escape. She just try to minimize the damage. It is so hard to say goodbye to someone; especially one that love her the most and you guys are like family.
Yes. He did tell me he cannot give up his career and his family to move to Vancouver with me too which I understand. But that does not matter because I knew we really heading to a different path. It is not even fair to hold him back.
Smellytofu, you should be grateful that at least she is not cheating on you, right?
It hurts but she is just doing the right thing for the both of you.
I guess .......... it hurts, but at this point, her heart is not yours anymore. That exactly what my ex told me, I have to cool down but I don't think her decision is form in one day. Perhaps, she has been thinking to leave you for quite some time but struggling on how to tell you she has to start a new life like me in the past. And now she has the perfect reason to say break up with you for moving back to HK. She would hope that time will wash away your love and pain.
Smelly Tofu,
Sorry to hear about what happened. As per the girl perspective and also being the one who dumped my ex (a 7 yr+ relationship). I can tell you that she would feel just as bad as you are feeling right now. Probably it has nothing to do with you, it is just her realizing that she wanted something else and that it just wouldn't work out.
There's nothing that you can't handle, just give it time. You'll end up somehow seeing that it is for the best for both in the long run. Treasure the memory and try to keep a lasting friendship.
發表於 2007-12-7 13:53
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