big_tooth

Alcoholic, I agree with Chunsh on this one here.  What I'm about to say is not direct to your case but in a general sense.

Point 1.
As you said before, talking directly to the mother in law is suicide, and for a husband siding with his mom over his wife is also suicidal for him.

Point 2.
Sometimes the husband and wife are so used to each other, we don't even realize alot of the little things we do to our spouse.  And just as any loving couple should be, we don't care or notice those little things that our spouse is doing to us.

I guess what I want to express is to keep an open mind about what the in laws are saying and doing, after all, they are family.

big_tooth

原帖由 Littleprince 於 2008-1-8 18:23 發表

你講得真係o岩﹐provided 你識得我或者我奶奶。。。但可惜呢﹐你又唔識播。。。TOO BAD。。。SO IT IS TOTALLY WRONG。。。

hmmm, the problem with internet forum is that once you posted it, you don't know who is reading it.

Littleprince

原帖由 big_tooth 於 2008-1-8 18:56 發表


hmmm, the problem with internet forum is that once you posted it, you don't know who is reading it.

邊個看都無問題播﹐乜你知我係邊個咩﹖誰要是知道我或她的真正身份才算是講是非吧﹖否則只能算是論壇吹水﹐不是嗎﹖(不要忘了我們爭論的重點是“講是非”OK﹖)

[ 本帖最後由 Littleprince 於 2008-1-8 19:53 編輯 ]

Alcoholic

Little Prince:
i TOTALLY understand what you mean by 有D人係"性格長舌" !!!!!!! *relieved*

but seems like 我地黎班 LYK C9 here knows what to do best & is best at doing what is most wise to do:

收埋 & 算！！！！！


it's all really a small thing. it's just that we're analyzing & actually disecting all the points out here & explaining our feelings, that's why some people think us LYK housewives are having some "major respect/communication" problem with elders.

講真, 如果我地真係咁唔ger既話，神早就同奶奶 "chan"到行，大家成年人，又冇血源關係，洗比面妳? 洗鬼set做新抱既宗子:"退一步海闊天空，小事化無，老公為重" 咩~~ 唔明唔緊要，照樣睇得化咪得囉~ 如果咁容易比野/人激到，點keep住做靚太呀?

big_tooth

原帖由 Littleprince 於 2008-1-8 19:41 發表

邊個看都無問題播﹐乜你知我係邊個咩﹖

I don't know you, but it is not hard for people who knows you to find what you posted on the internet.

Besides, does it make it alright to talk bad about someone when you think he/she will not find out what you said?

Please understand that I'm not saying you (or Alcoholic) are 講是非.  Venting out frustration is one thing, saying things that has absolute no impact to you behind that person's back is 講是非.

[ 本帖最後由 big_tooth 於 2008-1-8 20:20 編輯 ]

tsumorichisato

話時話我都見過有D 新抱可以對99好似啊媽0甘好﹐個situation 就個新抱個親生媽媽好早就唔響度既囉

我覺得你地好勁架啦。比著我遇上呢D 99﹐ 我都唔知我頂唔頂得順

blueprint

I feel that sometimes the relationship (mother-in-law and daughter-in-law) is complicated because we tend to think too much.   And then start the cycle where daughters-in-law chat how tough things are, and the mothers-in-law on the other side maybe doing just the same thing.

To me, the solution (as boring as it may sounds) is to learn how to treat mother-in-law as a mom.  It's all right to vent it out, it's all right to feel tired and sick of it (if you are aware that the people you confess to is reliable), and then to encourage and motivate each other to feel better and handle situation better.

I've been married for almost 7 years and have two kids.  Up till now, after both my mother-in-law and my mom stayed with us from time to and time, I realized more that it's all up to me to find peace within myself.  I can't just grab some differences, some disagreements, some misunderstandings and then be unhappy about for a long time.  Because we all have our own values, points of views, and ways of doing things.  IMHO, what matters is how I can learn to 睇得化, and remind myself, we are all families, and try not think too much (多心).  

Cheers ladies!  I sincerely wish that you will keep up the good job and stay cool.

blueprint

原帖由 Littleprince 於 2008-1-8 18:23 發表

你講得真係o岩﹐provided 你識得我或者我奶奶。。。但可惜呢﹐你又唔識播。。。TOO BAD。。。SO IT IS TOTALLY WRONG。。。

Hm... so your logic is: it's OK for Miss A to say bad things about you on some forum, because Miss A don't think anyone there would know you.

And... you are fine with it?

Littleprince

Alc,

你講得十分對呀。。。我地都只不過係呻下遮﹐無問題掛。。。
如果真係唔 RESPECT﹐點仲可以一齊住呀﹖而家幾多後生仲肯同奶奶住呀﹖

Big_tooth:

o甘個主題係問奶奶同新抱關係嘛﹐人地講真話都唔得﹐人地真係頂唔順她的長舌嘛 。。。係咪響網上都要詐帝扮關係好好﹐講埋晒D表面野呀﹖天呀~~~

blueprint:

sure, why not?

[ 本帖最後由 Littleprince 於 2008-1-8 21:50 編輯 ]

katamari

原帖由 blueprint 於 2008-1-8 21:33 發表
I feel that sometimes the relationship (mother-in-law and daughter-in-law) is complicated because we tend to think too much.   And then start the cycle where daughters-in-law chat how tough things are ...

This is true, problems always appear when both sides start to think too much. Blueprint your reply is actually very encouraging!

原帖由 tsumorichisato 於 2008-1-8 20:10 發表
話時話我都見過有D 新抱可以對99好似啊媽0甘好﹐個situation 就個新抱個親生媽媽好早就唔響度既囉

我覺得你地好勁架啦。比著我遇上呢D 99﹐ 我都唔知我頂唔頂得順 ...

Honestly I have been married for 2 years, I am treating my husband's family like my own family, they treat me the same way too. I always tell my hubby that I am the lucky one because we never have to deal with these 奶奶同新抱 matters. I gotta mention to you guys that my mom is ALIVE !