Hyde

My bro had his 1st son when he was 20,  but then he's not an good example since we have money.  Financially was never a problem to begin with and he and his wife had no trouble taking care of the kids, actually, they don't even need to take care of the kids, we have maids to do that...  all they do is play with the kids and spend time with them.  no, only his wife spend times with the kids, my bro hardly even see them.  same with my sis, her husband hardly see their kid.

Hell, my bro and sister don't even treat their kids as children, they treat them like adults, they don't give them advantage of being a child.  they inch them a lot, they let them do whatever they want and buy whatever they want make them learn from their own mistake.  they are not regular parents, but their kids are sure a lot smarter then other kids their age.

mcjohnjohn

點都好啦, 總之我就一定唔會叫女朋友落左佢啦.
唔落左佢, 就唯有生左佢出黎啦. 既然要生佢出黎, 點都要比番個名份女朋友卦. (除非女朋友要仔唔要公啦)

窮, 都可以養到小朋友的. 細個既時候我屋企都好窮, 而家都可以好地地咁啦. 最緊要係父母識唔識教, 同個小朋友品質優唔優良之麻.

Ultraman

原帖由 shutterbug 於 2008-12-17 18:06 發表

I agree.  But there are some members who think this cannot be avoided/controlled.


Let me tell you, I don't believe in showing/telling people what I think, I do it.  If your motive is just to show t ...

Yep, the first and second consequences (eating the forbidden fruit, and become pregnant) might not able to be avoided, but the following consequences can! That's why I believe getting married in an inappropriate time is no no.

*****

Well, I didn't really mean "to show people". But OK, even not to "show off" to other people, not to "show" to your gal, no need to "prove" to anybody, but it's just your action following your own heart, I still think it might not be the best decision to get married in an inappropriate time.

Take a look on my previous brainstorm example again, how if the parents don't have all the essential elements/factors I stated but only money, or even lots of money, what likely their kid(s) would be brought up?

mcjohnjohn

Yep, the first and second consequences (eating the forbidden fruit, and become pregnant) might not able to be avoided, but the following consequences can! That's why I believe getting married in an inappropriate time is no no.

why can't the first and second consequences be avoided?

Take a look on my previous brainstorm example again, how if the parents don't have all the essential elements/factors I stated but only money, or even lots of money, what likely their kid(s) would be brought up?

my brother and I grew up nicely.

Ultraman

原帖由 mcjohnjohn 於 2008-12-17 18:37 發表
最緊要係父母識唔識教, 同個小朋友品質優唔優良之麻.

Exactly! This is the key point I've been saying. Which parents don't want their kid to be a good and useful person, well educated and having a good job, able to gain some money...etc etc? Or at least don't want to see their kid would be a criminal or do anything harming the society.
I'm not saying "lower quality" family can only raise up lower quality children. But I'm saying which one will has a bigger probability, a "lower quality" family or a "higher quality" family? ("quality" doesn't only limited to money but all other essential elements/factors) If a lower quality family still wants to have kids, that means they'll have a bigger risk to have high quality kids. In other words, the parents are less responsible.
(Note: not mean to offend anyone.)

kabuki

Let’s do a case study.

Sex is a basic human need. They are both 20 yrs old + and finished school, make under 15k (HKD) each, DID use contraception, the guy and his family is ok if not supportive of having the kid.... but the girl hate kids and is not mature enough for rising a baby. Even though the girl’s family won’t force her to have an abortion, her family would not be supportive at all. What would u guys do?

ACooperFan

原帖由 siuyudim 於 2008-12-17 18:22 發表
what if the girl doesn't want to get married? what would you do?

what does the girl think seriously??  she's the one carrying the baby...shouldn't the decisions be made together?

mcjohnjohn

原帖由 kabuki 於 2008-12-18 10:54 發表
Let’s do a case study.  

Sex is a basic human need. They are both 20 yrs old + and finished school, make under 15k (HKD) each, DID use contraception, the guy and his family is ok if not supportive of having the kid.... but the girl hate kids and is not mature enough for rising a baby. Even though the girl’s family won’t force her to have an abortion, her family would not be supportive at all. What would u guys do?

They should not have sex in the first time. Sex is a basic human needs, but you need to achieve something in order to have this gift from nature. YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL HAVE CHANCE TO GET A BB EVEN IF YOU DO ALL THE CONTRACEPTION METHODS. You should know whether you can take the risk before doing something.

If you have sex, you should take that risk and that's all.

Ultraman

原帖由 mcjohnjohn 於 2008-12-17 18:49 發表


why can't the first and second consequences be avoided?

Since parents can't spy their kids 24-7, no matter how straight they teach their kids, how much care and love they provide, kids also learn from their peer group and from other resources. And since they're young, they have higher curiosity in sex and thus very easy and normal to taste the forbidden fruit. (doesn't mean "all" kids will do)

my brother and I grew up nicely.

Haha.. do you mean you're brought up from a family that lacks of money, good personality, correct and positive value of life, knowledge, ....etc, but you and your brother still grew up nicely? Even so, how can you be sure if your family got everything, you and your brother could be a lot better than now?
(You may say you and your brother think you two are good enough and are pretty satisfied with the current stage. However, this is only from your pov, the society might be longing for a better person.)

Ultraman

原帖由 kabuki 於 2008-12-17 18:54 發表
but the girl hate kids and is not mature enough for rising a baby...

That's the key killing part! Even the young couple (and even their families) are rich, have all the "essential elements/factors" mentioned, "the gal hates kids"....!
The fact is, even the parents are with lots of love (despite all the money and other factors) to their kids, doesn't necessary mean they know how to teach and raise their beloved kids. Now the mother-to-be "hates" kids, very likely she pays less attention and less patience and less love to her kids. Would the kid(s) be heavily and happily raised up?
Don't think she'll change and get better once the baby is born. See how many women think their men will change after certain time or even got married?! Not just men, sometimes people won't change.